Present Perfect(30)

School was all I had. I didn’t take part in a sport, I didn’t dance, nor play an instrument. I studied. That was my thing. Emily, however, excelled at everything. She was a great student, basketball player, and a great dancer. Being proud of Emily was effortless, since there was a lot to choose from.





For the past two years I had taken extra classes during the summer to get ahead. Now, in my junior year, my schedule allowed me to have a free period at the end of the day. Sometimes I left early, but more often than not I stayed and went to study hall to finish homework or to the journalism classroom to finish up on any article I was working on. Somehow I had gotten rooked into a study group with Stacy and Kim from my American Government class. We met once a week during study hall, which they were required to attend.

I was at the table glancing over the chapters we were being tested on next week, when Tweedledee and Tweedledum came bopping in. They took their regular seats at our table. Neither one of them said a word to me at first. I glanced up. There was a look of sympathy across their faces. I didn’t know these two very well, but they didn’t strike me as very caring people. Stacy’s nickname was princess, Kim’s nickname was duchess, and from the way they acted, I think they had deluded themselves into believing they were actual royalty. They loved to spread gossip and stir up trouble.

Stacey, tilted her head slightly to the side, giving me a weak smile, she sighed deeply. “Things will get better you know.”

She exchanged a knowing glance with Kim who nodded in agreement. They turned their attention back on to me. Kim, who was sitting directly across from me, reached her hand across the table, touching the top of mine. “I realize we don’t know each other very well, but we want you to know, you’re not alone.”

“That’s right. We’re here to listen whenever you need us to. In fact, we can exchange numbers so you can get in touch with one of us at all times.” Stacey offered up another deep sigh and tilt of the head.

I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone. I was completely baffled, but curious. I looked back and forth between them a few times before I asked, “What are you two talking about?”

Again, they gave each other a knowing glance. When they turned back to me, they tilted their heads in the opposite direction from each other. Kim leaned in closer to the table and loudly whispered, “We heard about Noah and Beth.”





As soon as the bell rang I bolted from the classroom. I walked quickly with purpose down the hall towards the lockers. My nails were digging into my palm due to the tight grip I had on the strap of my backpack. I felt the heat rising inside me from the anger and betrayal I was experiencing over what I had just heard moments ago. Beth was facing her locker when I walked up. I stood there in silence, waiting for her to turn around. She was startled when she saw me.

“God, Amanda! You scared the shit out of me.”

“You and Noah are dating?” It came out as an accusation.

Beth looked around, making sure no one was close enough to hear. Biting her lip and fidgeting with her purse strap, she said quietly, “Um…..yeah…kind of.”

“When the f*ck did this happen?” I bit out. My anger was palpable.

“Do you really want to talk about this right now? Right here?”

I looked up and down the hall. Students had all but disappeared, leaving Beth and I alone. I crossed my arms in front of me and stood firm. “Answer my question. When. Did. This. Happen?” I said slowly through gritted teeth, clipping each word.

“Um….Well…Let’s see. I’m not really sure,” she stumbled over her words, trying to buy time.

“Quit stalling.” I was getting more and more impatient. Narrowing my eyes, my voice strained, I asked, “When?”

“A little while ago.”

“How long is a little while?”

Looking down, she began twisting the ring on her right hand. She did that whenever she was nervous. She hesitated for a few moments before answering. “About a month.”

My body stiffened. The air completely pushed out of my lungs. “Both of you have been lying to me for a month?” I already knew the answer was yes. I just needed to hear her admit it.

“We never lied to you, Amanda.” She looked everywhere except at me.

“You kept it from me. I’ve been around the two of you and never noticed anything different.”

“I wanted to tell to you when it first started, but Noah said no.” Her eyes narrowed slightly as her lips pursed into a straight line.

With each piece of information that dribbled out of her mouth, I felt my body stiffen more. My voice had become robotic. It was as if my entire self was shutting down physically, mentally, and emotionally. But, I couldn’t seem to stop my mouth from asking questions that I knew the answers would destroy me.

“You want to know how I found out? Stacey and Kim told me. They gave me their sympathy and now want to be BFFs. Apparently everyone knew about this, except me.”

“They saw us at the movies a couple of days ago. I guess they figured something was up.” She still wouldn’t make eye contact with me as she went from twisting her ring to fidgeting with the strap on her purse.

“How would they figure that out?” I asked.

“Because I was holding Noah’s hand.”