No Kissing Allowed (No Kissing Allowed #1)(57)

Now I paced my apartment, and everything had somehow flipped. I still wanted to be successful, but I now understood that my career wouldn’t be defined by my first job, but the experiences over the course of my lifetime. This moment did not make or break where I would be in thirty years. But there was only one Aidan Truitt, and I loved him. I couldn’t imagine walking away from him. Not now.

I had just decided to send him a text, my nerves unable to wait another second, when a soft tap sounded from my door. Reaching the door in three long steps, I yanked it open, already knowing who I’d find on the other side.

Aidan stared at me without moving for several seconds, his face etched with exhaustion and worry. I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, breathing him in.

“How bad is it?” I asked, unsure if I really wanted to know, but I was an adult now, and adults were forced to endure even when they wanted to hide.

He kissed my cheek and then pulled away from me. “Let’s talk.”

A chill moved through me as I searched his face for a deeper meaning. “Talk?”

Aidan opened his mouth, then closed it back and looked away. “Yeah, we need to talk.”

I stepped back so he could enter and followed him over to my couch, simultaneously wishing he’d spill whatever he needed to say and then wishing he’d keep it to himself. The tension was too much.

“Do you want something to drink?” I asked.

His hollow eyes penetrated through me. “No, I don’t want a drink. I want you. I’ve thought about everything, my father, my job, and I want you. And I have to know, I need to know, how much you want me back. How much does this mean to you?”

Fear ripped through me as I thought of how hard I’d worked all these years, and now, less than a year into my career, everything was falling apart. I thought of my family, how much they liked Aidan, how in every text or call with Mom since Christmas she asked about him.

But at the end of the day, I wanted Aidan more. People didn’t end their lives and look at their first job as a benchmark on their life’s success. They looked at the people around them, and I wanted him to be my person. The one there until the end.

I leaned forward, unable to stay away with such a sad look on his face. “Enough that I told Gayle I wouldn’t end this.”

“Enough that you would stay, be mine, even if I weren’t here? Even if weeks, months passed without seeing me?”

“What are you saying?”

Aidan raked a hand through his hair and stood up, pacing the floor as I’d done just moments before. “They’re making me choose—either you’re let go with a generous severance or you get to keep your job…but I have to take over in London.”

“No. They can’t do that. You can’t leave. We’re just getting started. This…we…I’ll just quit. I can find another job.”

“They’re holding to the non-compete, Cameron. If you quit, you’ll be lucky to find another agency to take you on. Same for me.”

“But what if I let them fire me? Doesn’t that clear the non-compete?”

“Yes, but everyone in advertising will know why you were fired. This will wreck your career, and the partners know it. They’re using this to their advantage to force me to go to London.”

I started to say something else when I noticed the expression on his face. How did I not see it before? “You’ve already decided, haven’t you?”

“What choice did I have?”

Tears brimmed in my eyes, threatening to fall, everything crashing around me. Either I kept my career, but the man I loved would be an ocean away, or I gave up my dream and his so we could stay in the city, together. “This isn’t right. I won’t let you do it. You said it yourself, your life is here.”

“I care about two things, Cameron—advertising and you. I know this business, and you’re a natural. I can’t let you ruin your career because of me. I won’t. I’m not my father. Through you, I’ve realized that, and as much as it’ll kill me to be away from you, I won’t be selfish with this.”

I took a step toward him, searching my mind and heart for some argument, some response that could convince him that he was wrong. But there were no other options for us—the non-compete had our hands tied. This wasn’t a situation where we could quit and find another job tomorrow. We were locked out of advertising for a year if we left Sanderson-Lowe.

“I’ll use Dad’s money to float me while I search for another job. Something outside advertising. He would want me to use it for something important. Well, this is important.”

Aidan shook his head slowly. “I can’t let you do that. You should use it to invest in something, something for your future.”

“I would be—us.” But I could see the pain on his face. Using Dad’s money would only make him feel guilty for causing me to use it. “How long do we have?”

His eyes met mine. “I leave in a week.”

“A week?” The words barely escaped before I broke into sobs. Aidan pulled me to him and stroked my hair as I cried into his chest. Everything came back to me at once. The first time we met. That first kiss in the bar. The first time we made love. Each memory like a sharp stab to the heart.

“But I just found you.”

Aidan walked me back to the couch and cradled me in his lap. “You’re not losing me. It’s only time. We can see each other every few months.” The word held between us, just how long “months” truly was. I thought of the agony when he was in London before, and a strangled cry broke from my lips as I cried even harder. Months.