Loving Mr. Daniels(73)

“Merry Christmas, angel.”
I lay with my phone to my ear, and he played his guitar through the line until my eyes fell heavy and dreams washed over me.

I climbed onto the train with Gabby’s treasure chest in my lap. I figured opening a few letters with Mom might be good for her. For us. I texted Daniel, thanking him for last night. He only texted back with one word: Always.
Sitting in a window seat on the train back to Chicago brought back the memories of my first train trip to Wisconsin. Where Daniel and I had first crossed paths. So much had changed since then, yet a few things still remained. Those blue eyes, for one.
I placed the treasure box on the seat next to me. My legs tucked against my chest and I sighed. I missed them both so much, Ryan and Gabby. A few tears started falling from my eyes as my head fell to the glass window and the train started moving. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths. I’m okay. I told myself that over and over, yet the tears kept coming.
There should be a universal law that said young people shouldn’t be allowed to die. Because they’d never really had a chance to live.
My eyes reopened when I heard footsteps near me and I looked up.
Beautiful.
Breathtaking.
Brilliant.
Blue eyes.
More tears fell as Daniel lifted my treasure box and sat down in the seat beside me. “What was his greatest fact?” he asked, pulling me close and kissing away the tears.
I closed my eyes as more emotion kept falling down my cheeks, yet he never stopped his kisses, catching each tear against his lips. “His heart. The way he loved so deep and felt so much,” I whispered about Ryan. “The way he loved his sister and his mom. The way he missed his dad…” My eyes reappeared and I placed my hands on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. “What was your mom’s favorite Christmas fact?”
This time, he closed his eyes. He didn’t reply right away. When his blues opened, they were glassed over with water. “I don’t talk about her…”
I nodded. “I know.”
We rested our foreheads against one another, breathing in each other’s existence. “Her double problem showed up every Christmas. I always got two of the same sweaters, just in case I ruined one. She would bake double the amount of cookies. She would make us watch It’s a Wonderful Life twice. She…” he chuckled, brushing his finger across his forehead. “She added double the vodka to the holiday punch. But that was for Dad mainly.”
“What was his craziest fact?” I asked, lightly kissing his lips.
“Hmm, he was a dreamer who made things happen.  He bought the boat before he had the lake house. But he was sure the house would come. He dreamed it to life, I think.” My fingers knotted his hair in my hands. He kissed the bridge of my nose. “You’re never going to have to do these types of things alone, Ashlyn. Never.”






I want to know who you were before me.
I want to see the world that you see.
~ Romeo’s Quest


We made a quick stop before heading to Mom’s house. When Daniel drove the rental car up to the curb of the suburban house, I smiled. One of the cars in the driveway had bumper stickers covering it with some of the best bands ever created.
Bentley’s car.
I reached into the treasure chest and pulled out Gabby’s promise ring and the letter addressed to Bentley. Feeling the ring against my fingers made me sigh. They would’ve been so happy together.
“I’ll wait here,” Daniel said, noticing the look in my eyes.
“Please come with me?” I asked, climbing out of the car.
His door opened and he climbed out, too, closing the door quietly. Each footstep I took toward the household felt painful. Each time my winter boots lifted, I felt a sharp knife stabbing me inside my gut.
Holding on to the ring and letter with one hand and Daniel’s hand with the other, I climbed the steps up to the front door. My head turned to the porch swing, which was covered in a bit of snow. I blinked and the memories started to resurface.
“I think I love him,” Gabby whispered against my ear as we swung back and forth on Bentley’s porch on a humid summer night. He headed inside to grab us some sodas before we went to the fair.
I snickered at my sister. “You love him.”
She gave me a sly smile and nodded. “I love him.”
Shaking my head back and forth, I snapped myself out of the memory. My finger rose and I held the doorbell down for a second. Right at the sound of the doorbell, though, I wanted to retreat. I wanted to go back the way I’d come and drive back down to Chicago.
Then Daniel tightened his hold on my hand.
I relaxed.
The door opened, and when I saw Bentley through the screen door, I gasped. He looked surprised and a bit sad at first. I wished I didn’t look so much like her. Just seeing me probably broke his heart.
Bentley stepped onto the porch and his eyes widened. “Ashlyn,” he whispered.
My feet started shifting around. My nerves were growing strong.
Daniel let go of my hand, and when I looked at him, he gave me a small grin.
“Hi, Bentley.”
Bentley laughed, his eyes watering over. “‘Hi, Bentley?’ That’s all I get? Come here.” He wrapped me into a hug. I breathed him in, hugging him tighter and tighter as time went by. “You look so good,” he whispered against me.
“You too, Bent.” We pulled away from one another and both wiped at our eyes, laughing. “Oh, Merry Christmas!” I said, scratching at the back of my neck.
He smiled wide. “So who do we have here?”