Loving Mr. Daniels(72)

Daniel texted me each day, making sure I was finding time to eat, to cry, to mourn. Each text ended the same: I love you.
I’d needed that.
The night before Christmas, I couldn’t sleep. I sat in the living room with my notebook, writing away, pouring all of my thoughts into my imaginary characters. I heard footsteps approaching from behind me. I turned to see Henry walking with two coffee mugs.
“Tea?” he asked. “Rebecca had some weird flavor in the cabinet, but I thought I would give it a try.” I nodded and moved over on the couch to make room for him. He sat down and handed me a mug. “What are ya working on?”
“My novel.”
“What’s it about?”
I bit my bottom lip. “I’m not quite sure yet. But I’ll let you know when I find out.” Closing the notebook, I turned toward him. “Gabby did forgive you,” I said. “She never blamed you for leaving.”
Henry’s eyes locked with mine. “And what about you?”
“Me?” I paused. “I’m working on it.”
He nodded. “That’s progress.”
Next were the tears that streamed down my face and the shaking followed. “I’ve been so terrible to you.”
“I’ve been even worse, Ashlyn. I wasn’t there. I missed so much.” His head lowered. “Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know. But let’s just get through tonight.” I lifted my tea, took a sip, then spit it into the cup. “Oh my gosh! That tastes like reindeer piss!”
Henry laughed and raised an eyebrow. “And you know how reindeer piss tastes because…”
I gestured toward his mug. “Try it. See for yourself.”
When the tea hit his lips, he gagged, spitting it back into the cup. “Yup, that’s definitely Rudolph’s piss.”
“Really? I was thinking it was Comet’s.”
He smiled. I smiled. We smiled. Not an uncomfortable grin, not an estranged father-daughter smile, but a real smile. The first one we’d had in…years.
“I think I’m going to go see her…be with her for the holiday. If it’s okay with you, I’ll probably go tomorrow.”
He grimaced.
“I’ll come back, Henry,” I promised.
“She’ll love that, Ashlyn. She’s doing a lot better…” He moved to the Christmas tree in the corner and lifted a gift box. “Here you go.”
My fingers ran over the wrapping paper. I saw my name written across it and my heart skipped. “You always give us gift cards,” I whispered.
“Yeah, well… I thought I would try something different this year. Open it.”
I was slow to unwrap the gift, feeling as if this were some kind of dream I would awake from. I gasped when I saw the CD sitting in my hands. Romeo’s Quest.
Henry cleared his throat. “I know it might be weird, being your teacher’s band and all. But I saw them perform a few weeks ago. They’re good, Ashlyn.” He paused. His bottom lip twitched. “Dan”—he paused again—“Mr. Daniels was telling me how they based each song off Shakespeare plays. You like Shakespeare, right? But if you hate it, we can get something else. I’ll take you shopping—”
A deep sigh rolled through me. My arms wrapped around Henry and I held him close. “Thank you, Henry. It’s perfect.” When we pulled away, I went back to the tea and took another sip, gagging after the taste.
“Why do you even drink this nasty stuff?” Henry asked, eyeing the tea.
“It’s not all nasty,” I argued. “Plus, Gabby loved tea, she’s the reason I started drinking it.”
His eyebrows lowered. “Do you think you can tell me more about Gabby?”
My lips turned down and I felt my heartbeat increase at the idea of sharing the wonderful things about my best friend to the guy who should’ve already known her. “What do you want to know?”
His voice was a whisper, barely making a sound. “Everything.”

After spending hours sitting and chatting with Henry about Gabby, I found myself sitting in the bathtub on my phone talking to Daniel. It was around three a.m. and he had no plans of hanging up on me.
“Sorry to call so late,” I sighed.
“No worries. I was just lying here, hugging my pillow, thinking of you.”
I laughed at his comment. “I’m going to see my mom tomorrow…”
“Yeah? I think that’s great.”
“I’m nervous… What if it doesn’t go over well? What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if I get there and I’m still mad at her? Because…I still feel mad.”
I heard his breathing through the receiver, and that sound alone gave me a hair of comfort. “I’ve had a lot of terrible things happen in my life. And what I’ve come to realize is if you don’t say what you need to say when you have a chance…you’ll regret it. Even if you’re mad, say it. Scream it into the world while you still have a chance to. Because once life passes you by, it’s gone. And so are the words left unspoken.”
My eyes blinked tight and I felt my heart pounding against my ribcage. Say what I needed to say. That idea scared me so much. “I’m sleepy…”
“Go to bed, Ash. You have big day tomorrow.”
I nodded to the phone as if he could see me. “Will you stay on the line with me? Until I fall asleep?”
“Of course.”
I stood up from the tub and moved back toward my bedroom. “Merry Christmas, Daniel.”