Loving Me, Trusting You(56)

“You want to give me your Tiger?” she asks incredulously. “You've tweaked the shit out of that thing. It's got your fingerprints all over it.” I stare straight at her, hoping that somehow she'll see in my eyes that I don't want her to go, that I can't bear to watch her drive away.

“Only because you helped me with it. You know I don't know shit about playing with machinery. I can ride it hard, but I don't know what the hell you're always going on about. Multi-plate clutches and steel trellis frames.” Mireya's face stops wrinkling up and she almost smiles. Almost. I rise to my feet and move towards her, trying to keep that easiness we've had in our friendship for so long. I don't know why it's such a jump for her to accept that we're a couple. We've kind of been one, on and off, for awhile now. We've slept in each other's arms, shared secrets, f*cked like friggin' rabbits. All I want is to be able to tell her I love her, to hear her say it back. That's it. Simple. I keep going, forcing the mood to stay light. “Single piston sliding caliber brakes?” I ask as a question, touching my fingers to her bare upper arm. She's got on a black tank and dirty jeans, no makeup. I don't often get to see her like this. She's gorgeous, jaw-dropping, flawless. I like her even better this way than I do when she's got her smoky eyes and red lips, though I wouldn't complain about that either. It's just, Mireya's perfect to me the way she is. “I don't know shit about shit. I just like to ride the damn things.”

“Don't play dumb with me,” she says, and I notice she sucks in a breath when our flesh makes contact. Her chest tightens and the rise and fall of her breasts increases as her breathing speeds up. “I know you know your shit, and I can't take your bike. It's a part of you.” She looks up at me and shakes her head. Black hair brushes my arm and sends my body into a messy, sweating frenzy. “Stop saying such stupid f*cking crap and tell me what you need to tell me.

“Mireya,” I say, and I can't hold it back anymore. I wrap my arms around her, sliding my fingers beneath the fabric of her shirt. I don't miss the way she arches her back and pushes her chest into mine, squishing her breasts against me. “My bike is a part of me, but you're an even more important part. I'd hate to see it go, but I don't know if I can stand to watch you leave.” I raise one hand to her hair, curl my fingers into it. She's looking at me with her slanted eyes opened wide, her lips frozen in a gentle part. I've only seen her like this once, the night I told her I loved her, the night she spilled all her secrets to me. I screwed things up then, but I'm not going to screw them up now.

In an instant, I know what I have to do.

Tonight, I'm going to leave, and I'm going to find Bested by Crows myself. That's it. That's all there is to it. There might be some scuffles after this, but that's going to be it. If I take out their Pres and his closest buddies, the group will either fall apart or be forced to back off. They don't have a big club. Just a few strategic hits should be enough. What's an army without its generals anyhow? And I figure if they back off, the other MCs might pull back a bit, too. As long as we stay away from them, we'll be alright, and this disease won't get spread all across the continent, taking innocent girls down with it. I try not to think of the woman with the tattoo. I have no way to check on her, so it's pointless to even entertain thoughts about her.

“Don't say stupid things like that, Gaine.” Her words come out soft, barely audible. “You're trying to distract me with disgusting, fluffy shit. You know that's not my scene.”

“I know, but I can't help myself. When you find the woman you love, you just start to spout fairytale crap in times like these.” I lean forward and breathe against Mireya's mouth, pressing my lips against her lower one, savoring her in that moment, wishing I could hold her there forever.

“Times like what?” she asks as I kiss her, get her mouth wet with mine and enjoy the feel of her nipples hardening against me. She's not wearing a bra, but her breasts are still raised and full, held up by the strong muscles in her chest. I move one of my hands up slowly, caressing her tentatively, seeing how far she'll let me go. She told me to back off, but now she's leaving. Surely she has time for one last hurrah?

“Times where you find out that you're losing the one person that means the most to you, where you're powerless to stop it, where you know you'd do anything, give anything to keep them with you.” Mireya's eyes flutter closed and her hands find the waistband of my jeans, sliding in and brushing against my skin.

“You can't change my mind, Gaine,” she repeats, and I nod, kissing her full, breathing in her sweet scent and holding it in my lungs. I can't change her mind, but I can alter the circumstances. If I leave, she'll have to stay. That's it. I might never see her again, but at least I know she'll be safe here, happy. She's got Beck and Austin and Kimmi, and I think that eventually, she'll have Amy and Christy, too. Mireya could make friends with them if she wanted. I know she could. And one day, I hope she'll find a man that makes her feel the way I feel about her.

“I know.”

I lift her up and set her on the edge of the dresser, slipping between her legs and pressing my hard on against the hot sweetness there. It's damp, moist from excitement, and it makes me crazy, makes me forget what I promised to do.