Loving Me, Trusting You(51)

I wipe my arm across my lips again and move out to the parking lot next to my bike. The wind teases my hair as I pick up my helmet under my arm and gaze out across the quiet town. An alarm got set off? I call a lie. I can see the bank from here and nothing looks amiss. Whatever it is that the two of them are fibbing about, they'd better let me know because sooner or later, I'm going to find out and everything is going to go to shit. I squeeze my fists tight. Gaine wants to prove that he sees me as an equal, then why try to hide things from me? I have a right to know. Keeping stuff from me only further proves that he doesn't get it, that he thinks I can't handle the truth.

I put my bag away and slip my helmet on, climbing onto the cracked leather of my seat while I wait. Christy comes out first with Beck at her heels. He escorts her over to me and helps her get settled before moving away and pausing with his gaze focused out, towards the highway. Did they tell him what they didn't tell me? I can't decide. When Beck turns around, he's just smiling as usual.

“At least it's a good night for a ride,” he says to nobody in particular. In the distance, the sound of sirens echoes across the emptiness of the terrain. I wet my lips against the dry air and flip up my visor to glare at the stupid redhead. He stands with his hands in his pockets and his muscles relaxed. The approaching red and blue lights don't bother him in the least. Guess they shouldn't bother me either. Even with a crew this big, we'll be out of here before the first squad car pulls into town. Still, it doesn't explain why they'e coming or what's going on. Guess I'll have to make it my mission to find out.

When Gaine comes out of the building, I don't look at him. He does pause near my bike for a second, but whatever words he thinks he should get out don't come and he ends up moving away. The gap between us grows wider than it's ever been. For years, we've been so close that I didn't even realize we were. When Austin pissed me off, I told Gaine. When I had an issue with Kent, he was the first person I would admit it to. And he's still the only person that knows my mother shipped me off to America, so she could pursue her dream of painting without the burden of a child. The only person that knows how much my grandmother meant to me, and how distraught I was when she died in a car accident. He's the only person on this planet that will ever hear the story of why I married Tray and took up this lifestyle. I was heartbroken and alone, that's all it really comes down to. If my grandmother hadn't passed away, I doubt I'd be here right now.

I sigh and drop my visor.

It's not that I don't like the open road, I do. Now that I've tasted it, I could never go back, but I can't help the wandering thoughts, especially when I'm in a situation like this. I could've lived a normal life and hell, if I'd met Gaine under different circumstances, maybe we'd be together. Maybe. But right now, this way, I can't do it.

I watch him climb on his bike, head low, shoulders tight under his jacket. Whatever he saw is eating him up, and that scares the shit out of me. That pain and guilt I see on him now, was that mine to take, to handle as best I could? I don't want him holding burdens for me. I know he thinks he should, but it isn't right. That's my responsibility. I think of Will and Mack and wonder what he'd do if I told him how I felt, how I'm tired of all the pain and the heartache, that I want them out of my life but don't know how to do it without getting my hands dirty. Would he try to take vigilante justice for me? I curl my fingers around my handlebars and promise myself that there is no way in hell I'm going to tell him how I really feel. As far as he's concerned, I'm thirsty for blood. Period.

I will not let Gaine risk himself for me. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. My burdens are mine and mine alone. If anyone else got hurt because of them, I would never be able to forgive myself.





Our ride starts out ridiculously quiet. The intercom remains silent, no music, no mindless chatter. It's just engines and anxiety stirring the air tonight. I don't like the feeling in the group, not one bit. They're scared and they're nervous, and they're starting to get disgruntled. I'm sure they're wondering what happened tonight. I mean, it's not like they couldn't see the emergency vehicles in the distance. Kent was good at hiding his dirt. Us, not so much. If we're not careful, people are going to start wondering if Austin's strong enough to hold us together. I don't want to deal with that mess. Sooner, rather than later, we're going to have to take extreme action.

“I don't want to take the interstate,” Kimmi says, and I hope to hell she's on a private channel. “There's a group out here that I don't trust. If Bested really wants to stir up shit and get everyone up in arms about us, this is the place to do it. Seventy-seven Brothers. You heard of them?”

“Nope.” This from Beck.

“Well, the last time we passed down that interstate, we ran into them. It was a long time ago, before Gaine was even a part of Triple M, but they tried to start shit with us. They have a pretty strict code and anyone who falls outside of that is fair game. It would not surprise me if they were forming against us. They have a point to prove now. This has gone way past Mireya and Tray. This is about principle now, and if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that principle means everything to some people.” I wait for Mireya to launch into a furious attack on Kimmi, but there's nothing but silence. She's not on the channel. Shit. She's already pissed about my lying to her. If she finds out about this, there's going to be no coming back from it.