Loving Me, Trusting You(47)

When Amy gets back, slipping inside with her key card, I'm sitting on the bed contemplating my next move. Obviously, I'm the start to all this, so I have to be the one to finish it, too. Murdering those f*cks would obviously be the easiest route, but I won't let myself go there. If I'm going to keep any part of myself, I have to make sure that I stick to what's going to work for me. Meaning I don't get to keep Gaine, meaning Will and Mack aren't going to die by my hands. I sigh and close my eyes, leaning back on the bed and listening to the swish of fabric as Amy changes her clothes.

When something lands softly near my head, I open my eyes and see that Amy's tossed me her book. It's wrinkled and smells like coffee where it's been stained over the years.

“What the f*ck is this?” I ask her as I lean up on my elbows and throw her my worst possible death glare. Christy startles awake then and stares stupidly at the two of us, moving her gaze slowly around the room like she isn't sure where she is.

“Give it a try and see. You never know what you might discover when you walk around with eyes wide open.”

“Is this another book quote?” I growl at her, snatching the novel and flipping open to a random page. I can't even tell you how long it's been since I read a book. I don't even want to know. My guess would be in the years. I have vague memories of holing up in my grandmother's closet and sneaking peeks at her murder mystery novels, but those have been virtually railroaded by all the other shit I've done in my life. I wonder what would happen if I took it up again, what sorts of things from my distant past would come alive.

“It might be,” Amy says coyly, moving over to her friend and sitting down on the bed next to her. She takes her hand in hers and smiles. “Did you sleep alright?” she asks and Christy nods.

“Better,” she says, voice throaty and scratchy from sleep. “Gaine told me a story about a badger that got into his high school gym.” She smiles, and I have to hold back my lips before they follow suite. That *. “It actually helped put me to sleep.”

“Oh, trust me, the longer you know him, the more times you'll hear it and eventually, you'll start dozing off in simple anticipation of listening to that crap.” Both the girls laugh as I scan my eyes down the dark print, pausing when I catch sight of a particularly vulgar phrase.

His balls slap my chin as I struggle for breath, relishing the thick heaviness of his flesh between my lips.

Huh.

I keep reading.

Glance lifts my face to his, using my hair like reigns, and smiles down at me while his friend goes to town, f*cking my * so hard and fast I feel like I might come already. God, I asked for a threesome, but I never expected this. Sali Bend is a connoisseur of dick, and this is most certainly a feast.

I slam the covers closed and flip the book around, so that I'm pressing the spine against my lips. The muscles in my stomach clench as my eyes shift across the small gap between the beds and find Amy's. She's grinning at me, garnering a confused look from her friend as she glances back and forth between us. Inside of me, something strange happens, some rusted gear comes unstuck and starts to spin.

“Try not to stay up too late,” she warns as I let loose and spill a chuckle from between my lips. Oddly enough, it sounds much more like my mother's this time.

“To read this trashy, ridiculous smut? Fat chance.”

By the time Gaine shows up, face white and eyes faraway, I've finished the whole damn thing.





I don't know where I plan on going when I leave, but I'm not sure what else to do. I can't sit in that room with Mireya and watch her fight against me. I know she's starting to feel things for me, but I can't get her to admit it. I don't want to hound her ass, but I also hate sitting back and waiting. I've spent far too much time doing that already.

I don't know what happened to her during that fight, but something changed. She's both more receptive and less. I don't get it at all.

I run my hand through my hair as I pace down the hallway, moving towards the stairs and taking them two at a time. There are Triple M'ers everywhere, watching, waiting for something to happen. And it will. We all know it. After seeing Broken Dallas, I'm admittedly a little terrified. I don't want this disease to spread, to be fearful of my surroundings wherever I go. If this scuffle turns into a war, life will never be the same.

I hit a side door out to the parking lot and nod at my friends, making sure they know I'm alright. I probably shouldn't be leaving by myself, but there's nobody I want to take with me. I just need a moment alone to think.

I start my bike and zip out of the parking lot, moving slowly, cautiously. Just because those dumb f*cks walked away after our fight, that doesn't mean anything. They could be waiting for me right around the corner.

It's only after I don't see them for awhile that I start to get worried. I start thinking all sorts of horrible things for Austin and Kimmi, find myself absolutely positive that something bad is happenin' to them. I'm sure they're fine, of course, but the dark brings out the demons and when they howl, it's hard to hear much of anything else. I start thinking of Mireya then, wondering if I made a mistake by leaving. What if something were to happen while I was gone? I would never forgive myself.

I ride through the blackness for awhile, past all the darkened storefronts and restaurants. If Amy thought her town was bad, this one is even worse. There's not a single place open at this hour, not even the bar which looks more like a diner on the outside than anything else.