It's All Relative(83)
He had to blink away the emotion stinging his eyes after saying that out loud. April’s face went ghostly pale; that was a sentence no woman liked hearing. A wrenching pain ripped through Kai, but ignoring it, he fortified his stomach. He had to do this. “I’m so sorry, April. She and I…we can’t be together, and I thought that if I dated you, I could get over her. I thought I could move on.” He sighed as thoughts of Jessie filled his brain. “But I can’t move on. She’s all I think about…”
Sadness swept through him, chilling him to the bone, as the feelings for Jessie that he tried to keep buried deep, bubbled up; each one lashed his heart as it burst open. Kai watched April’s eyes begin to shimmer, and he knew she had finally understood what he was saying. So there could be no doubt, he bluntly told her it was over. “I don’t see us going anywhere, April, and I think, if we kept seeing each other, I’d just be leading you on.” He shrugged and when he spoke again, his voice was ragged with emotion. “My heart is…somewhere else. I’m so sorry.”
April was silent for long moments, and her eyes watered to a point that Kai was positive would spill over into tears. Then she inhaled a deep breath, shook her head, and smiled. “I guess I should have known that a guy as great as you, wouldn’t be available.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping, and indicated where Jessie was in the house with her thumb. Kai tried to block the image of Jessie on the floor, crying. “Is that why she got so weird? Why she didn’t want us to sleep together?”
“Yes,” he whispered, his voice strained. “She knows…how I feel.” About her, he added in his head. And she also knew why they couldn’t feel that way about each other.
April smiled with one edge of her lip; it was a sad one. “I suppose I should thank you, for telling me about her before we slept together. Most men would have waited until afterwards.”
Kai gave her an equally sad smile. “I should have said something earlier, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I was just hoping to feel…something for you.” His smile turned genuine. “I wanted to like you, April, I really did. You’re very enticing.”
April grinned as she stared at the ground. Shifting her stance, she let out a wistful sigh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but a part of me wishes you’d waited until afterwards.” She peeked up at him, a devilish smile on her face.
Kai felt his cheeks heating and bit back a smile. “I think it’s better this way. Less confusing.” He eyed her for a moment. She was undeniably beautiful, with a sensuous nature that made men weak in the knees, but underneath it all, she had a good heart. He hoped some guy took the time to find it one day. Giving her a serious look, he quietly said, “You don’t need to try so hard, you know.” She frowned, not following. “To get men to notice you,” he explained. “They do. Trust me, they notice you.”
April smiled warmly at him. “Whoever this girl is…she’s an idiot for not being with you.” Kai forced a smile onto his face. No, she wasn’t an idiot. She just wasn’t an option. But he couldn’t tell April that, she wouldn’t understand. Not noticing the rigidness of his smile, April sighed and said, “I’m going to miss going out on dates with you.”
Kai laughed and gave her a wry smile. “April, you hated the date I took you on.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I did.” With a thoughtful look on her face, she gave him a once-over. “And you hated the date I took you on, didn’t you?”
Kai grinned. “I hate costumes.” He playfully raised an eyebrow at her.
Her an amused smile, she admitted, “I hate bugs.”
Kai chuckled. “I hate techno music.”
“I hate wearing a helmet,” she said with a laugh.
“I hate drinks that come with little umbrellas.”
“I hate carnations.”
Kai laughed, remembering when she’d told him they were her favorite. He shook his head. “I hate being put on display in front of other people, especially when I’m dressed as a pirate.”
April tilted her head back in a hearty laugh. Shaking her head, she shrugged. “Well, I refuse to recycle.”
Kai laughed with her. “See, April, you and I really are not compatible at all.”
She let out a sad sigh. “Yeah, I know.” She crooked a playful grin. “You’re just hot enough that I was willing to overlook that fact. Plus, I’ve learned the value of a man who knows how to kiss well, and you…” As her voice trailed off, she closed her eyes and bit her lip.
Kai shook his head as he studied their shoes. Peeking up at her, he asked, “Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.” She extended a hand out to him. “It was nice getting to know you. Thank you for being a decent guy.”
Kai smiled as he shook her hand. “It was my pleasure, April, and I know you’re going to make some man very, very happy.”
April grinned, then cocked her head. “Just not you.”
“Not me, not in that way. But I’d like to think we can still be friends?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
April smiled as she wrapped an arm around his waist. “I can always use another friend, Kai.” She grinned as he put his arm over her shoulder, then her expression turned serious. “I hope you get your girl. You deserve to get the girl.”