I Love You to Death(82)

But most of all, they underestimate the power of love.
They say love makes the world go around, but that’s just not true.
It’s infinite and it can do so much more than that.
I was wrong when I said you can’t stop death. Sometimes, just sometimes, you can and it is the most amazing feeling.
I was only one minute old when the first person died.
And I was only just twenty-seven years old when I died.
∞

I am surrounded by blackness. It’s everywhere. The pain is back now, but it’s no longer throbbing, more of a slow, dull ache. I am not cold anymore. I can hear a faint, steady beeping that sounds muted and far away. The loud noises and voices have all gone though. It’s peaceful and quiet, finally.
I don’t know where I am, but I have a sudden, vivid memory of fear, a lot of fear. I remember being so very afraid, but I can’t remember why.
I have no idea where I am now, but I don’t want to be here. I try and open my eyes.
It’s dark but there’s soft light coming from somewhere and it doesn’t hurt my eyes this time. I want to move, but my body feels so heavy, weighed down by itself. I try slowly turning my head. The pain doesn’t get any worse when I do, just sits somewhere low in my stomach. I realise now that I’m lying on a bed in a darkened room that I don’t recognise. My head is resting on a soft pillow and I can feel something in my hand.
I blink a few times and everything around me finally comes into focus.
Luke.
He is here. He’s sitting beside me and he’s holding my hand in both of his. His head is resting on the bed I’m lying in. He’s facing me, but his eyes are closed as though he is sleeping.
A sharp pain suddenly lances through my chest, bringing with it a nauseating dread. Oh god, I remember now, I remember everything.
Luke coming in to work and picking me up. His beautiful new tattoo. Going home and drowning in each other. Their amazing show, the new song he wrote for me, the backroom, my birthday. Being so incredibly happy, loving him.
But then there was the dark alley, the man, and the cold hard metal of the gun. The gun that was pointing at Luke. The gun that was going to take him away from me. There was pain and an aching, frightening terror that took over. Terror that was replaced with anger, a fierce determination, and a sudden burst of excruciating agony that took everything else away, that made the world go black.
I remember making a choice; fighting for him, trying to protect him. I wanted to stop him from dying.
He was holding my hand the whole time, I remember that too. I wanted to let him know that I knew, that I knew he was there, but nothing would work, I couldn’t move my hand or my body. My eyes were shut. I was freezing cold, weighed down and hurting so bad, but he kept holding my hand. Through everything, he kept holding my hand.
I remember all of it now, I thought I was dying.
Luke.
I try squeezing my hand again. This time, somehow it finally moves and when it does, Luke’s eyes instantly open. Beautiful blue eyes find my face and are immediately filled with tears. I try smiling at him, let him know that it’s ok now, but I’m engulfed in him. Strong arms wrap themselves around me, gently but firmly. His lips are on my cheek, pressing soft kisses and I can feel his tears on my face, his words in my ear. Asha, oh god Asha, I love you. I love you so much.
I lift my arm and Luke pulls back a little. I reach out and gently brush the tears from his cheek now and he leans into my touch.
"Hey," I whisper, my voice barely audible through my aching throat, my own eyes filling with tears.
He smiles at me, that gorgeous smile that stops my heart. "Hey beautiful," he whispers before leaning in and gently kissing my lips.
I saved him, I really saved him.
∞

When I wake up this time, it’s lighter and I can hear voices. The pain is fading and it’s easier to move now. Luke is still here, finally sleeping, but stretched out on the bed beside me. The nurses don’t like him sleeping in my bed, but we both ignore them. I need to keep him close to me. I slowly roll over and watch him; lightly run my hand over his soft hair. It’s growing out a little because he hasn’t cut it for a while. I’ve been in the hospital for four days now and he hasn’t left me. He doesn’t say the words, but he doesn’t leave. Jared and Mia have brought us both some fresh clothes.
His hand is in mine and our fingers are threaded together, neither of us letting go. He wears my ring, the one that used to belong to my Dad, on one of his fingers now. I gently twist it around as he lies beside me.
"It’s yours Ash," he says quietly, his eyes still closed. "I was only looking after it for you."
He must have put it on when I first came in that night. It looks good on him. I pull his hand to my mouth and press a kiss to his palm. "No Luke, it’s yours now, I want you to have it," I whisper.
He smiles as he drifts back to sleep again.
I lightly kiss his forehead and then carefully sit up as a nurse comes into my room, trying not to disturb Luke. I feel his fingers tighten around mine, but he doesn’t open his eyes. I gently brush my other hand over his hair again. I can’t stop touching him.
"He never leaves huh?" the nurse says quietly, as she puts a breakfast tray beside my bed. She’s brought extra food.
I shake my head smiling.
She smiles back at me and then leaves the room, pulling the curtains around my bed before she goes.
I turn back and watch him sleep. When I first woke up and saw his face, his eyes, his beautiful smile, I knew I’d done the right thing, had made the right choice. That it had all been worth it, he was so worth fighting for and I would do it all over again if I had to. In a heart beat.