Going Down Easy (Boys of the Big Easy #1)(72)

Addison nodded. She really did. “I think that giving her the security of knowing I’m there, but that I trust her, has worked for her.”

“So why not with Gabe?” Lindsey asked. “Why not let him learn what he needs to learn by doing this? Just letting him know that you’re there for him and that no matter what happens, you’ll love him?”

Addison opened her mouth but realized she wasn’t sure how to answer that. Then suddenly tears pricked the back of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly and swallowed hard. “Because I have full control of Stella’s life,” she finally said. “No matter what she does or tries or succeeds or fails at, I can still fix it.” She blew out a breath. “With anyone else, it’s . . . too hard. It’s hard to just let other people do things their way. My ex did things his way, which meant he was never there for Stella. Or me. My parents did things their way, which meant they put their own high standards and strict rules on things. Stella is the only person in the world I’m completely in charge of.”

Lindsey was listening intently and nodding. Everyone else was completely quiet.

“That’s what the relationship thing with Gabe is about,” Lindsey said. “At some point you’re going to have to trust that he loves you and Stella and Cooper enough to realize that you need to be together, that he trusts you enough to bring you in when he does need you, and that he’s smart enough to realize that you balance each other. But you have to let him parent his way. You have to let him go, like you do Stella. Just be there when he needs you, but let him try this.”

Addison couldn’t believe that, of all the people in the world, this advice—this very good, accurate advice—was coming from Lindsey. She felt her throat tighten. Letting go with Gabe . . . that was hard. That was complicated. That was messy. Because he could really screw things up in her life, in Stella’s life . . . in her heart.

“If you want to go ahead with this thing with you and Gabe,” Lindsey said after a moment, “you have to figure out if you’re okay with letting someone else come into your life and Stella’s and potentially mess things up for a while. He’s not always going to get it right. None of us does. But you have to let him do his thing for his sake. That is what it’s like to have a relationship and parent with someone. When my husband comes home for his stays, he screws up our entire schedule and routine. My kids are used to me being the decision maker and the one to fix things. It makes my husband feel bad when they don’t go to him. But then when I do try to get him involved, he doesn’t know what to do or doesn’t do it the way I do it. It definitely gets messy. But I would rather do it messy than not at all.”

Those were the most continuous words Addison had ever heard Lindsey say at one time. And they were really good ones.

It was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she was going to let Gabe figure this out on his own.



“You look like shit.”

Gabe grimaced as he pushed a beer toward Caleb. Caleb was sitting across the bar at Trahan’s.

“I’m aware,” he said grimly.

“And you missed the support-group meeting last night.”

Gabe nodded. “Also aware of that.”

“How come?” Caleb lifted the beer bottle to his mouth and took a long draw. But he was watching Gabe closely.

“Stuff came up.”

“Bullshit.” Caleb set his bottle down with a thunk.

“I’m kind of doing this dad thing on my own, remember? And don’t know my ass from my armpits.”

Caleb nodded. Then said “Bullshit” again.

Gabe sighed. “What do you want from me?”

“For you to admit that you’re chicken.”

Gabe frowned. “Chicken? Of what exactly?”

“Falling in love with Addison and Stella.”

Gabe shook his head. “Not chicken. I totally did that. Headfirst. All in.” And his heart clenched at the thought of it. He missed them like crazy. He missed everything about them and had felt a huge gaping hole in his heart—hell, in his life—over the past two weeks.

“You did it. And then ran.”

“Fuck off,” Gabe said. “This is about Cooper, not the girls.”

Caleb just gave Gabe a raised brow and took another drink.

“What?” Gabe demanded. “You don’t think so?”

“How is Cooper?” Caleb asked instead of answering.

“Fine.”

“Everything okay at day care?”

Gabe shrugged. “Miss Linda got a warning from her supervisors that she seems to be taking seriously. The parents of the two kids called me to apologize. I stopped by unannounced at quiet time twice, and everything was good.”

“Cooper’s not resisting going or anything?”

“No.”

“He still carrying flashlights everywhere he goes?”

“The alligator one that Stella gave him.”

“Because he loves alligators and Stella,” Caleb said.

Gabe nodded. That was exactly why. His son seemed to have bounced back just fine, honestly.

“So why the hell are you not planning a huge, over-the-top, elaborate proposal for Addison and coming to support group?” Caleb asked.

Gabe turned away from his friend, rearranging the glasses behind the bar. That didn’t need rearranged. “Busy. This single-parenting thing is new for me, remember?”