Going Down Easy (Boys of the Big Easy #1)(70)

She squeezed her hands together. Maybe she shouldn’t be giving Gabe advice at all. Was she really doing that amazing of a job? Watching this whole thing with Cooper had made a few things seem very clear to her—Cooper would be fine because Gabe loved him, and Cooper knew that. Gabe didn’t have to say any magic words or do anything special for Cooper to be okay. Was the situation a little traumatic? Of course. Should Gabe talk to the teachers and administrators at the day care center? Absolutely. Should the adults step in and discipline these kids? Definitely. But for Cooper to be okay, all he needed was Gabe to put him on his lap, look him in the eye, and say, “I love you.” And he’d done that.

Maybe the parenting thing wasn’t as hard as she made it out in her head.

And why did she do that? So she could feel good about all the things she did? Or because she’d been every bit as intimidated by the whole idea as Gabe had been. If her mom had said, “Move in with us and let me help you,” would Addison have jumped at that? Quite possibly.

“I promise that your mom is just as concerned about you,” Bea told Gabe. “And I also promise that whatever you make him for dinner is fine.”

“Spaghetti every night?” Gabe asked with a slight smile that made Addison’s heart squeeze.

Somehow she could tell that he hadn’t been smiling much over the past few days, and she was so glad this group could bring that out.

“Are you making green beans or something with it?” Bea asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then yes, you’re fine,” the older woman said with an affectionate smile. “It’s just not all as complicated as we make it sometimes.”

Addison loved Bea. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.

“I don’t know,” Gabe said with a heavy sigh. “I knew my mom was doing a lot, but, damn, it’s been just Coop and me for only a few days, and I’m exhausted.”

Everyone in the group chuckled and nodded.

“Exhausted is a synonym for parenthood,” Corey said.

“I don’t know how you do it with four,” Gabe said, turning in that direction.

“One day at a time, one crisis at a time,” Corey said. “And they help each other, too.”

Gabe nodded, and this time when his eyes scanned in her direction, he met her gaze. Addison felt the jolt of it clear to her toes.

“Siblings can be really great,” he said, looking directly at her.

“Oh, honey, that’s for sure,” Roxanne said. “The fighting and shit will drive you insane, but if someone had done what those boys did to Cooper to one of mine, you can bet one of my older kids would have stepped in.”

“You can never have too many people loving your kid,” Caleb said.

Everyone nodded. Except Gabe and Addison. They sat just staring at one another.

You know I love Cooper, Addison thought, hoping that Gabe could read that on her face.

She wanted to help him. She wanted to be there for him and Cooper. God, she understood that he wanted to prove to himself that he could handle it. But as she’d learned from this group, no one was really handling it all on their own.

She’d thought she was, but since moving to New Orleans and having this group, as well as Gabe, Caroline, Cooper, and even Logan around and in Stella’s and Addison’s life, she’d realized that she’d been taking care of the basics, for sure, but that Stella had been missing out on having a wider group of friends and family there loving her, too. Yes, Addison’s parents had been there, as had Stella’s day care provider in New York, but the Trahans, and this little makeshift family in the support group, were different. Caroline and Gabe had provided care—food, entertainment, supervision—but the love and attention and interest in the things Stella loved, being able to share her imagination and play with Cooper, being praised by Caroline for her artwork, and being chased around the house by a pirate-sword-wielding Logan were all so much more.

Something that Addison wanted for Stella all the time.

She wanted other people involved. Including other people in their lives didn’t make things complicated and harder. It was amazing. And rather than seeing that as Addison not taking care of Stella, bringing these people into her life and letting them all get close to her and love her was taking care of her on an even bigger level.

And she had the man across the circle from her, the one who was trying so hard to suddenly do this all on his own, to thank for that.

Addison took a deep breath and then risked pushing him away by telling him exactly that. “I can tell you, from my personal experience of doing it pretty much all on my own for about five years, that I was missing out,” she said. She looked around the circle but focused back on Gabe in the end. “I thought that no one could ever love Stella the way I did, but I was wrong about that. Sure, being her mom is unlike what anyone else will ever have with her, but I agree with Caleb. Now. It took me being here, with all of you, and with Gabe’s family, to understand that one of the ways for me to be my best for Stella is to have other people around. People who love her. People who love me. When I’m happy and healthy and supported, I’m better for her.”

Though the whole group knew that she and Gabe had been seeing each other, this was the first time anyone had acknowledged it out loud in the group.

Gabe looked surprised but also pleased that she’d said it. Then sad. Because he thought it was over. “I’ve never done it on my own, though. Doesn’t Cooper need to know that I am the primary person in his life?”