FADING (A novel)(99)

“You were amazing last night.”

Tangling my hands in his messy hair, I enjoy the shivers he sends through my body as he licks and kisses me while peeling off my clothes.

Last night was a first for me, and I know Ryan was being cautious, but lying here with him now, I am calm under his touch. I know he senses it, and when he removes my pants, he softly nips his way up my thigh. I watch as he makes his way up my stomach, and when he peeks up at me, I grab his face and pull him up to my lips.

He must have already been awake when I woke up because I can taste the mint when I slide my tongue over his. When I graze my teeth across his lip, he pulls back and says, “All I want is you, every f*ckin’ piece.”

I melt into him and give him myself. We take our time now that my nerves are more settled and get to know each other in a whole new way. Ryan’s lovemaking is slow and intent and when we can’t hold on any longer, we lose ourselves entirely to each other.

Being curled up with Ryan in his sheets, I’ve never felt more secure. Folded up in his arms, we stay in bed for the rest of the morning.

?????

Ryan went into work this afternoon to take care of some things so that he could stay home tonight. While he’s gone, I drive over to Jase’s place to hang out for a while. I know I need to tell him everything that’s happened since seeing him the other night. When I get there, Mark is there too.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jase says from the kitchen.

“Not much. I’m so glad you’re home. Ryan had to go into work for a few hours, and I had nothing to do.”

“Is he not working tonight?” Mark asks.

“No, he’s taking the night off to hang out at the loft.”

“So . . .?” Jase hints.

“What?”

“You never called. Did you get the solo?”

“Oh! God, I’m sorry I forgot to call. Yes, I got it!”

“That’s awesome!” Mark says, and when Jase walks in the living room with beers for all of us, he sets them on the coffee table before giving me a hug. “Congratulations, sweetie.”

“Thanks.”

“Is Ryan’s mom still in town?” Mark asks, and then takes a swig of his beer.

“No, she left yesterday. But hey, I have to tell you something, but you can’t embarrass me and get all crazy, okay?”

“Shit, this sounds good,” Mark teases, and when I eye him, he says, “Sorry.”

“Promise. We both do,” Jase says.

“Okay, so last night . . .”

“Holy shit! I knew it!” Jase yells.

“What?” Mark and I ask in unison.

“Oh, come on. It’s written all over her face,” he says to Mark while gesturing to me with his hand.

Mark looks at me and gets a wicked grin on his face.

“What did I just say about embarrassing me?”

“Candace, you’re always getting embarrassed. Spill it,” Mark says with a hint of laughter.

“Seriously, guys.”

“Okay, serious,” Jase affirms. “I had no idea you were even thinking about going there.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, we love each other and I’ve been wanting to, but I’ve always been too scared. It’s not like I’ve had anything good to associate with sex.”

“So, how do you feel about it now?” Jase asks.

“Happy. He’s what I’ve been missing my whole life.”

Leaning in, Jase hugs me and whispers, “He’s lucky to have you.”

“Thanks.”

“So what kind of lover is he?” Mark asks with gossipy intent.

“Mark!” I say in shock. “I’m not telling you.”

Jase starts to laugh and when I narrow my eyes at him, he defends, “What? You know that Mark thinks Ryan is hot. He’s not gonna stop asking.”

Mark shrugs his shoulders, laughing. “Gross,” I say to him.

“Why’s that gross?”

“Cause he’s my boyfriend.”

“So! I let you sleep with my boyfriend,” he says, tipping his head at me and lifting an eyebrow.

“That’s different,” I argue.

“Candace, it’s not that different,” Jase chuckles.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

Jase and Mark laugh at my childish remark, and I give them an equally childish eye roll.

The three of us continue our playful bickering and hang out for a couple of hours. I never reveal anything to Mark even though he keeps pestering me. Jase, being as levelheaded as he is, just laughs at Mark’s crooked curiosity.

?????

When I get back to the loft, Ryan still isn’t home, so I decide to get some schoolwork done. I have two exams next week before the end of the quarter that I need to prepare for. Spreading out my books and notes on the coffee table, I make myself comfortable on the couch. I lose track of time as I flip through my books and study some of the dance terminology that I need to know for one of my classes.

When I notice the grey, misty sky beginning to darken as the sun sets behind the clouds, I wonder why Ryan isn’t home yet. Picking up my phone, I call him and he sounds stressed when he answers.

“Babe, hey.”

“Hey, I didn’t think you were going to be working this late.”