FADING (A novel)(96)

“Because your mom is about to leave, and you should go spend a little time with her before she goes.”

He lets out a sexy groan and pulls away. “Okay, but I’m not done with you,” he says as he starts to walk away.

I give the two of them some alone time to visit while I start unpacking my new purchases. After hanging up my new dresses in Ryan’s closet, I put my new bottle of perfume on the bathroom counter. When I look around his room and see my things, it makes me happy to be sharing this space with him, but it also reminds me that I’m not at home with Kimber. I’ve been so wrapped up in Ryan these past few weeks that I haven’t thought much about her, but now I wonder. Wonder how she’s feeling about everything, wonder if she’s mad that I left again, wonder if I can mend this fracture between us.

“Candace,” Ryan hollers from downstairs.

“Coming,” I say, and when I get to the door where Donna is standing with her bags, I suddenly feel a twinge of sadness creep over me. A part of me doesn’t want her to leave. She’s become someone special to me, and having her near brings a peace that I’ve been missing all my life.

I don’t say anything when I reach her, I just let her hug me, and when I feel the tears puddle in my eyes, I pull back. When she sees my sadness, her face pains. I blink, and the tears roll down my cheeks.

“Dear,” she says softly before pulling me back into her arms, and I feel Ryan’s supportive hand on my back.

“Come see me, okay?”

When I let go of her, I nod my head, not able to speak around the knot in my throat. Ryan wraps his arms around me from behind, and I lean back into him.

“When is your next break?”

Ryan answers for me, knowing that I don’t like to talk when I get like this. “She has the last two weeks of this month off before her last quarter.”

Looking at me, she says, “You and Ryan come visit, okay?”

As I nod my head, she picks up her bags, and Ryan says, “Mom, let me take those out for you.”

“That’s okay. I’ve got it. Stay in here with her.”

“Thanks for coming, Mom. Call me when you get home.”

“I will, and call me when you find out about the solo.”

“We will,” he responds.

When the door closes, Ryan turns me around in his arms and holds me until I can compose myself enough to pull away.

Cupping my head in his hands, I look up at him when he asks, “You okay, babe?”

“I hate that she lives so far away. I really like having her around.”

Wiping my tears with the pads of his thumbs, he says, “I know you do. We’ll go visit her when you’re on your break.”

I rest my head back against his chest, and I take a moment before saying, “My parents never even called me.”

He runs his hand up the back of my head and grips me close when I add, “I mean . . . I knew they wouldn’t, but it still hurts.”

“I know it does.”

I inhale a deep breath and let it out when he says, “Come on, let’s go grab something to eat before we go to the campus.”

“Sounds good. Give me a few minutes to freshen up?”

“Of course.”

?????

We have a long lunch at Eastlake Bar and Grill before driving to UW. We park and walk to Meany Theater. Walking up, I can see a crowd of fellow dancers walking inside to see if their name is one of the two that will be listed. I feel the butterflies in my stomach and turn to Ryan, “Can we just go for a walk first?”

“What? Don’t you want to find out if you got it?”

“Yeah, but not around everyone else.”

Holding my hand, he turns the other direction. By the time we walk through the quad and back to the theater, the crowd has dissipated, and we walk inside. My palms start to sweat when I see the white sheet of paper taped to the wall. When I step closer, I let out a loud sigh in disbelief. Shaking my head, I turn to Ryan and say, “I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it.”

My rapid breathing slowly turns into laughter, and I sling my arms around Ryan’s neck as he picks me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I squeal out, “I really can’t believe it!”

Looking up at me, he smiles, wide and gorgeous. I lean my head down and kiss him, but it doesn’t last long with my excitement. When I look up, I see Ms. Emerson and Sergej walk through a set of double doors. I jump out of Ryan’s arms and try to reel in my emotions, but I can’t seem to wipe the cheesy smile off my face.

When they walk past me, Ms. Emerson stops to face me. I notice a small twitch in the corner of her mouth as she gives a slight nod of her head before turning and walking out the door. Spinning around to Ryan, I can’t contain myself, and I cover my face with my hands as I feel a weight being lifted from my chest that I never knew was there.

“Come over here,” Ryan says, and I walk to him, straight into his embrace. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Looking up at him, I confess, “Because of you.”

“No, babe. It’s all you.”

?????

Today has been a mixture of emotions, and after I finish brushing my teeth, Ryan slides his arms around my waist from behind and starts kissing my neck. We watch each other in the reflection of the mirror, and when I turn around to face him, he picks me up and sets me on the edge of the sink. Tilting my head back to look up at him, he says, “You’re f*ckin’ gorgeous.”