FADING (A novel)(111)

“Hey, Max, Candace is going down with Jase. I don’t want you to leave her side, got it?”

“What about the door?”

“I’ll get Chase to take care of it.” Ryan gets up from his seat and walks over to me. “You want me to come down with you?”

“No, it’s fine. I haven’t talked to Jase all week, so . . .”

“Are you okay with Max?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fine.” Even though it makes me uncomfortable, I know Ryan is protective over me and wouldn’t leave me with anyone that’s less than completely trustworthy.

“Okay. Let me take care of a few things, and I’ll come down in a bit.”

Nodding my head at him, he leans down to kiss me. When we walk out into the hall, Ryan calls for Max to come back to his office.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” he tells me and then walks into Ryan’s office and shuts the door. It’s only a short minute when he walks back out and leads me back downstairs into the throngs of people. Holding me safely under his arm, he moves us across the busy room, and I see him nod his head at some people who are sitting at a table. They quickly grab their drinks and free up the seats for us.

“Shit, Max, why have you never helped me out like that before?” Jase jokes.

“Because you’re not the boss’ girlfriend,” he responds with a condescending kiss in the air.

I laugh at Max as he sits down next to me, and Jase leaves to go to the bar and grab some drinks.

“So how long have you worked here?” I ask.

“About three years. Ryan and I go to the same gym, so we were friends before he hired me.”

“Here we go,” Jase says when he returns with a bucket of beers. Popping the top for me, he hands me a bottle.

Max sits silently beside me as Jase and I start talking about this past week. I tell him everything that we did, and we talk a little about Donna when Mark’s band takes the stage. When they start playing, I am impressed with their sound. It reminds me a lot of the Silversun Pickups.

“They’re really good,” I yell over at Jase.

“Yeah, I know. I knew you’d like them,” he yells back.

We continue to sit there and drink our beers while listening to the band. I can’t believe it took me so long to come here. I feel happy and relaxed being here with Jase and finally getting to hear one of my closest friends play. The room is chaotic and noisy and I have no concept of time, but when I feel Ryan’s arms wrap around my waist from behind, I know I’ve been down here for a while.

He nuzzles my neck and gives me a nip before saying, “You having fun?”

“Yeah. I had no idea how good they were.”

“They’ve really been bringing in the crowds since they started playing here. Been trying to figure shit out because they aren’t sure if they are still going to play after this summer. A couple of the guys are graduating with Mark, so we’ll see.”

A girl in a tight black tank top with the word ‘BLUR’ written across her chest, like Max’s, approaches the table with a beverage tray in her hands. She sets the tray on the table, and while she is placing our empty bottles on it, she says, “So this is the girl that finally took you off the market,” while looking at me. She doesn’t give my stomach a chance to knot up when she gives me a warm smile. “I’m Mel.” She reaches over to shake my hand and continues, “It’s great to finally put a face to the name. Ryan never shuts up about you.”

She laughs as she rushes away, not giving Ryan a chance to say anything.

He leans down to my ear and tells me, “She’s worked here for years, you’ll like her.”

When I give him a side stare, he says, “Don’t worry, she’s married.”

I shake my head and turn my attention back to the stage as I lean back in Ryan’s arms.

It feels good to finally be here in Ryan’s world. It’s always felt weird to me to not be involved in such a big part of his life. I guess it must be the same way he felt about never seeing me dance. Finally being able to link these two missing pieces, I feel more connected to who he is.

?????

For the past several weeks, Ryan has been good with me only staying with him a few nights a week, and although he complains, I know he understands. Kimber and I still don’t really talk that much, but she has asked about Ryan and I have opened up to her a little about him. She is still dating Seth, even though she says it’s not too serious. She told me he was accepted into graduate school at UCLA, so there is no reason for her to get too attached. She’s convincing when she says that they are both just having fun together at this point.

I talked to Roxy the other day about changing my tattoo. She wanted to know why I wasn’t happy with it, so I just told her that I wanted it to be more of a reflection of who I am now. She didn’t really understand, and of course, I didn’t expect her to. But I came to the decision to simply have the heart shaded in. I didn’t want to add to it to make it any larger than what it already is. I like that it’s tiny. I didn’t realize until I fell in love with Ryan how full my heart could actually be, so having the empty heart on my hip filled in only makes sense. Ryan loved that idea and went with me yesterday to get it done.

I was a nervous wreck, the same as I was when I first got it. Jared was quick, and it didn’t hurt too bad. Ryan held my hand through the short process, and now I have a solid black heart instead of the empty outline. Even though it’s the same, it feels very different to me. I love Ryan for helping me transform something that was filled with such bad memories into something that now makes me happy when I look at it. I think of him when I see it, and I love that he was able to give that to me.