Existence(47)

“She’s terrified and I can’t just let her go without me. I can’t leave her.” I heard Leif argue.

“You can ride with her but she needs some medical attention. This is not a normal way of dealing with something like this. The other girl is handling it well. This one seems to be losing it.”

“Okay, but I’m not letting go of her.” Leif said with finality to his voice.

“I don’t want to go to a hospital,” I said, panicked. I pushed away from Leif, trying to get away so I could run to someone safe; someone who wouldn’t make me go. No one understood what I would see there. What I’d seen tonight.

“No, don’t,” I heard Leif protest and I thought for a moment he was talking to me when I felt the prick of a needle and the world went hazy before it faded to black.





* * * *

“No, they gave her a shot to knock her out. I tried to stop them but it happened before I could do anything.” I heard Leif’s voice in the darkness.

“I’ve called her mother and she’s terribly worried. I told her not to come. I’m having us flown out of here in a few 141



Existence

hours.” Mrs. Montgomery’s voice sounded concerned.

“How are Miranda and Wyatt?” Leif asked before fingers gently caressed my arms. I knew it was his touch.

“Both are doing fine. Miranda’s fine. She’s very worried about Pagan. I reassured her Pagan was just resting.” There were a few minutes of silence. I let the caressing touch from Leif comfort me. It helped fight the horror I was only barely containing. I knew there was pain waiting for me but I wasn’t ready to face it.

“Honey, is she always this unstable? I realize it was a horrible thing to witness, but for her to completely fall apart like this, well, do you think she has some mental issues you might be unaware of?” Leif didn’t say anything at first and I wondered if he’d shook his head or shrugged.

I heard him sigh. “I don’t know, Mom,” he said quietly.

Leif always seemed completely blind to my problems. I’d always wondered if he’d just not noticed the way I’d stare and watch things he couldn’t see. Then there were my major mood swings he always seemed to overlook. Maybe he’d seen more than I realized. A swell of panic tightened my chest as I realized that I may be losing Leif too. This time he wouldn’t be able to ignore my serious issues. I wasn’t normal. I never had been.

“You may need to really think about your relationship with her. It isn’t healthy to get involved with someone who is this emotionally vulnerable. People this weak emotionally can be dangerous.” Leif‘s hand stopped caressing my arm.

“I didn’t ask your opinion. Don’t say things like that about Pagan ever again. Do you understand me? Nothing is wrong with her that is dangerous or harmful. She just feels deeper than others.”

I thought of how deeply I loved Dank and I couldn’t argue with him. I did feel more deeply than was normal.

“I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have said anything but this is just concerning for a mother, that’s all. I want what is best for you. Make sure she is.”



142



Existence

I wanted to open my eyes and say ‘Listen to your mother.

I’m not good for you Leif,’ but I didn’t. Because I was selfish and scared.



143



Existence





Chapter Fifteen


I wasn’t sure how long I’d been back home. Time kind of seemed to roll on continuously. No night or day. Getting out of bed seemed almost impossible at times. In my dreams, Dank was there. I just wanted to sleep. Talking was something I just wasn’t ready for.

I’d seen the questions and concern in Leif’s eyes on the flight home but I hadn’t spoken to him. I hadn’t wanted to face him now that he knew I had issues, even if he didn’t really know what they were. He thought I was crazy and that wasn’t my problem at all. My problem was I loved someone I couldn’t have. I saw souls who wandered the Earth lost and I’d been attacked by a soul who was intent on killing me. I was the only person who remembered Dank Walker had gone to our school and if I brought up his name again everyone would really think I’d lost my mind. So, yes, I had issues, but not psychiatric ones. I had supernatural ones.

A knock on my bedroom door startled me and I turned to stare at the closed door, knowing it was my mother. My very worried mother. How could I explain to her I was hurting so deeply I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to recover? There was a loss in my life like nothing I’d ever known.

“Come in.” My voice sounded hoarse from lack of use. My mother opened the door slowly and stuck her head inside as if to take in the atmosphere before walking all the way in.

“You not up to going to school this morning?” she asked with a smile that didn’t meet her eyes.

I’d forgotten what day it was but I knew I wasn’t ready to face school. I wasn’t ready to face Leif or Miranda or Wyatt. I needed to remain in my room and find the strength inside me to keep living. I shook my head and she gave up the pretense of smiling, a worried frown creasing her forehead.

“Honey, you’ve missed a week of school so far. I have let you stay in here hoping you would overcome the trauma you’ve experienced. But now I’m getting worried you aren’t 144