Existence(46)

I masked my pain and turned to give him a reassuring smile. “Yes.”

He nodded toward the snowy evergreens outside my window. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I nodded because he was right, it was, but also because it gave me an excuse to keep staring off into the darkness.

“LEIF! WATCH OUT!” Wyatt’s voice broke into the soothing quietness of the Hummer like a bullet and Leif jerked the vehicle off the road and skidded up against the side of the mountain before coming to a full stop only feet away from the car that had just hit a patch of ice and flipped right in front of us.

Leif jerked open his door. “Call 911!” he yelled back at us and Wyatt jumped out of the vehicle with him. I reached blindly for my purse, not wanting to take my eyes off the smoking car in case I saw them. The souls who would walk away from it, if the crash had killed the passengers. I’d know soon if they’d died…wouldn’t I?



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“There has been a really bad wreck in front of us.” Miranda’s voice came from behind me and I knew she’d found her phone and already made the call. I dropped my purse and crawled over to Leif’s seat to get out of his door, since my side was jammed up against the mountain. Sparks started flying from the upturned car and Wyatt grabbed Leif’s arm and pulled him back.

“No man, stop,” he said and Leif appeared torn as to whether he should try to help them or back away. Sparks and smoke so close to gasoline meant at any moment the car would catch on fire and possibly blow up.

“BACK UP!” Miranda yelled, jumping out of the car and running toward us with the phone in her hand.

“The lady on the phone says to back away. The smoke and sparks are a bad sign and she said the paramedics and fire trucks are on their way but they don’t need more injuries to deal with, it won’t help the people in the car.”

“She’s right, Leif, come on. Back up.” Leif glanced frantically back at me.

“Move back, Pagan,” he called. Before anyone could react, the fire ignited and the car in front of us went up in flames. A scream echoed in my ears and I cringed at the thought of the people inside we hadn’t been able to help. Frozen in horror, we all stood there and watched, unable to do anything to save them. Miranda’s wails were muffled by Wyatt’s soothing voice. Leif’s arms came around me and pulled me back farther from the heat of the flames. I let him pull me away but I didn’t take my eyes off the car. I needed to see if they were dead.

“Don’t watch, Pagan,” Leif’s voice was in my ear softly pleading. He didn’t understand why I had to watch and I couldn’t tell him.

Then I saw him. He stepped out of the darkness and walked directly into the fire. I broke free of Leif’s hold and ran toward the fire. He was here. Dank was here.

“Pagan, NO!” Leif’s voice called from behind me.



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“STOP HER!” Miranda called out in a panicked voice, but I couldn’t stop. Dank was here! He was in there. The fire wouldn’t hurt him. I understood now. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me back as I fought against them.

“No, stop, I can’t — I need to get there! I need to see,” I begged as I struggled against Leif’s arms while never taking my eyes off the burning car. Dank emerged with two people by his side. It was a young couple. I started to call out his name as Leif held me tightly in his arms, unyielding.

“Please, please let me go. I need to go,” I begged, watching as Dank stopped and stared back at me. His eyes were a glowing, brilliant blue in the darkness as he watched me struggle and call out to him from Leif’s arms. He was there, so close, and the people beside him stood staring back at the burning car they had just escaped. He turned from me and with a wave of his hand all three of them were gone. I watched in horror as the darkness returned. The car continued to burn and I heard fire trucks drawing closer.

“Come on, Pagan, come back, baby,” Leif whispered in my ear.

“They’re dead,” I whispered, knowing why Dank had come.

Leif pulled me against him and held me in a tight hug. I let him. He had no idea what I’d just seen. No one did. All they saw was the burning vehicle. I had just seen the beautiful soul who had stolen my heart emerge from the darkness and take the souls of the people inside the burning car. He wasn’t a normal soul. He’d always told me he was different. I understood now what he meant. He was different.

His existence was cold and lonely. A sob wracked my body and I crumpled against Leif’s body. I wept at the realization that Dank was never given a chance to love. He lived within the sadness. He had to walk hand and hand with death. I heard Leif’s voice attempting to comfort me but I couldn’t accept his words. Nothing he said made any of this okay.

Dank wasn’t given a chance at life and happiness. My 140



Existence

breathing came in gasps from the pain shooting through my heart. It was all too much. I had a limit and I was positive I’d just reached it.

“No, sir, she isn’t hurt. We weren’t close enough to the car and we all were wearing our seatbelts when I ran the Hummer into the mountain. She isn’t handling what we just witnessed well….” Leif’s voice trailed off.

An unfamiliar voice spoke from behind me. “She needs to be taken in and given some meds to calm her down. That kind of emotional trauma can leave devastating effects.” I tightened my hold on Leif. I couldn’t go to the hospital now. I didn’t want to see more sickness or lost souls. I shook my head violently against his chest.