Existence(44)

Existence

replied.

“Ugh, well, I do and I’m not doing it. I mean, you fall and get cold wet bottoms. No way. Not going to do it.” Leif chuckled. “You wear a snow suit, Miranda, it keeps your bottom dry,” he called out loudly.

“Whatever, still not doing it. Oh, I need to call Wyatt and tell him. We have got to go shopping for real winter clothes.

You’ll have to put your community service aside for one afternoon or possibly two. Okay, well! SQUEEAAAA! I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up.

I closed my phone and laid it down on the table. “She may be a little hard to live with the next two weeks,” I said jokingly.

Leif nodded. “I think you may be right.” He leaned back in his chair. “So, tell me about this community service.” I didn’t want to talk to him about this. I stared down at the notebook in front of me.

“Well, I’m working as a volunteer at the hospital. Today I read books to kids.” I hoped that was all the information he needed. I peered up at him and the admiration in his eyes made me feel like a terrible person. I hadn’t gone to volunteer because I was concerned about others. I’d gone to find answers. However, I’d found all the answers I was likely to get there. She had just been a kid, but she had spoken like she knew exactly what she was talking about. Tomorrow I thought about talking to the elderly I knew didn’t have much time left to see if any of them would tell me if they had seen this “he” she referred to.

“You’re one special girl, Pagan Moore, and I’m incredibly lucky,” Leif said, gazing at me with an emotion in his eyes I didn’t deserve.

I shook my head. “No, I’m as normal as they come. Trust me. Now, let’s get some homework done.” I needed to change the subject before I broke down in tears and admitted what a horrible person I really was. I used Leif as a comfort and I had for so long. Now, I was using sick people to help me find 132



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Dank. Would I stop at nothing to find him? Was love meant to be this intense?

“Okay, this week we are faced with the challenging question: Should high school students rely on the aid of coffee in the mornings? Real deep, huh?” I managed a laugh I didn’t feel and reached for my laptop.

“I think we need to google this one. Because I for one think coffee is the nectar of the gods and, yes, we need it desperately. However, I’m thinking your teacher thinks differently.”

Leif shrugged. “I hate the stuff so I’m no help. Do you really think the internet is going to have information on this?”

I glanced over at him as I clicked enter. “Um, yes I do. We will have the health conscious groups’ arguments and Starbucks arguments both at our fingertips in just a second.” Leif leaned over, peered at the screen, and grinned. “Cool, so which side do I take for this speech?” 133



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Chapter Fourteen


The streets were already decorated with twinkling, white Christmas lights on every tree. Shop windows were decked out with holiday cheer. The streets smelled of warm fudge and mountain taffy from the candy shops littered around every corner. Snow was drifting down lazily and sticking to our coats as we walked the streets. Wyatt held five shopping bags already in his hands, full of Miranda’s purchases. An icy breeze made my numb nose throb. I ducked down into the scarf I’d wrapped around the bottom part of my face several times. I was not accustomed to this weather. Our winters in Florida never got this cold. Leif pulled me close to his side. “Come on, let’s go into this coffee shop and get something to warm us up.”



“Good idea. I need a break from these bags and I’m pretty sure Miranda won’t find anything in there to buy.” I laughed at Wyatt through the scarf covering my mouth.



I reached up and pulled it down, glancing up at him.

“You’ve got to be kidding. You know she can find something in any store we step inside. So far we’ve been in five stores and you are holding five bags.”



“Pish posh,” Miranda said with a wave of her furry gloved hand. “What are all these cute little stores for but to buy things?” Leif chuckled behind me and we all went over to a table. I sighed as the warmth of the coffee house seemed to thaw out my frozen nose. It was the only body part I hadn’t been able to cover up.



“What do you want?” Leif asked, taking off his scarf and hanging it and his large black down coat on the chair beside me.





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“Caramel latte with whipped cream,” I replied. He turned and joined Wyatt at the counter and I glanced over at Miranda.



“My nose feels as if it may fall off from frost bite,” I grumbled and rubbed it with my gloved hands.



She nodded and rubbed hers as well. “I know what you mean. Now that I’m inside and not focused on the shopping, I feel the numbness.”



I started to say something else when I noticed the soul standing at the counter watching people order with a confused expression. Now I knew what they were and why they always looked so lost and confused, and I wished I could do something to help them. They could have lived more lives if they’d only moved on. Instead, fear had held them back and all they could hope for was to wander, lost.