Don't Let Go(79)

Emotion choked me, and my chest felt like someone was squeezing it. “Did he get mad?” I managed. “Cry? Yell?” Anything besides the stare of the dead that I’m sure she got a load of.
She closed her eyes for a few seconds. “He just—went away. Like he was still in the room, but only on a technicality.”
“And then he left?”
She shook her head. “He turned on the TV.”
“Oh, jeez.”
“He does that when he needs to zone out about something or unwind, so I let him be,” Shayna said. “I went to bed. Johnny Mack was already in his room. When I woke up at four this morning, he was gone.” She grabbed my hand again. “His phone is off and I’ve been looking for him since sunup. I didn’t know where else to go.”
I met her eyes and remembered her question when she’d arrived.
“You thought he’d come here.”
Her puffy eyes blinked and looked down. “I looked everywhere else first, but honestly I thought he’d be here.”
I shook my head and looked at my door. “If he’s feeling betrayed by women right now, I would be the last person he’d want to talk to.” I got up. “He’s not gonna walk forever. It’s chilly out there.”
“Please help me look for him,” she said.
“Shayna, I have to go to work. Ruthie can’t run my store indefinitely.”
Which was a lie. She could run it better than I ever could and was probably doing twice the sales already. But I did need to actually make a full day. Something I hadn’t done since Noah landed. And I would. Right after one little stop.
“Go home,” I said, holding out a hand. “When he wants to be found, he will be. I’m sure he has some steam to work off.”

? ? ?

My thoughts were racing as I parked in front of the store. There was no reason to hide around the corner anymore. Hell, he was the one hiding now.
My head said to walk straight to my door, go in, do my job, give Ruthie a very deserved earful to catch her up, and wait on the sidelines to hear how Shayna and Noah’s dilemma played out. That was my place, as her friend, as his friend, not to jump all up in the middle of things. It wasn’t for me to worry over where he disappeared to in the middle of the night. Or what their fights were about. Or whether or not he was in pain and feeling like he’d been sucker-punched in the gut. Again.
Shit.
I let my steps veer down the sidewalk to the left and let the sound and smells envelope me as I entered the diner. A quick glance around didn’t produce Noah but did give me Linny.
“Hey,” I said, approaching the counter as she went back behind it. “Is Noah here?” I asked quietly, my eyes automatically darting for signs of Johnny Mack. I knew from experience that he could be ready to pounce at any time, his recent mood improvement notwithstanding.
“No, and Dad’s in the back, so relax,” she said with a smirk. “Never seen him so happy, though. That Seth is a godsend. Did you have a good day with him yesterday?”
I smiled, and for a second everything in me warmed. “I did. He’s—he’s better than all my dreams made him out to be.”
Her eyes got a little misty. “I’m so glad. Noah seemed happy, too. I think he really needed this.
“Have you seen him this morning?” I asked.
Linny blinked and shook her head, narrowing her eyes a bit. “You okay, honey?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I said. Probably a little too enthusiastically.
Linny put down a stack of menus she was carrying. “Jules, I know all this has had to be pretty crazy.” Her eyes went soft in her round face. “And by that, I don’t just mean Seth.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “I know.”
“You and I never really talked about it,” she said. “It seemed like you wanted it that way, so I guess over the years—”
“It got easier to just pretend,” I said. “I know.”
“What a couple of stupid women we were,” she said.
I laughed. “You’re right. We need to remedy that.”
Linny tilted her head. “So in the spirit of that, how are you, now that the prodigal son has returned?”
There was that feeling again. Like an invisible vacuum was sucking the air from my lungs. All I could do was smile and hope it was believable.
“Every day is a new day.”
Linny chuckled. “If I see my moody brother, I’ll tell him you were looking for him—or no?”
I opened my mouth to say yes, then closed it. “Just tell him to go home,” I said. “Shayna is looking for him.”

? ? ?

Go to work. Those were the words I had for myself as I walked back outside. Where it started to drizzle. Just walk, I told myself. It’s right there—the door is right there. Ruthie will be so proud.
It wasn’t my business to worry about Noah. To think about his feelings or how hurt and angry he might be. We had an arrangement. Or I did.
And this is the thought that steeled me as I walked. Right off the curb, across the street, past the gazebo, and onto the path leading into the park. Where I knew with almost absolute certainty, if he was still in town and hadn’t hitched a ride back to Italy, that he would be.
The drizzle upped to a really steady sprinkle, and I cursed as I wrapped my jacket tighter and apologized to my hair. At least I’d had the good sense to wear jeans and loafers, but too much more wetness and I’d be jonesing for my boots. Not to mention an umbrella.
And then there he was.
I recalled Noah’s first day back in town when I’d come upon this very same sight. Him sitting on our bench, staring off in the distance and lost in his own thoughts. I’d been paralyzed with shock and flashbacks and had crept away like a mouse.