Don't Let Go(78)

“I knew it was a horrible time, but I just couldn’t—” Her voice trailed off.
“Couldn’t what, Shayna?” I asked, my patience waning. Becca was still swimming around the front of my mind, and my ice was already thin these days. It didn’t take much.
“I couldn’t keep up the lie anymore,” she said, whispering the words. “Not after seeing him and his son together. I had to—had to come clean.”
My skin tingled. She had my full attention now. I couldn’t ask another question, I just waited. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know anymore.
“The guy I told you about?” she said, looking at me for the first time since she’d arrived, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. “That stalked me?”
“Yeah?”
“His name was Thomas,” she said in a whisper, as if someone might hear. “The baby is his.”

? ? ?

You reach a point where you think there can be no more surprises.
Shayna’s words pinged off the walls like they had nowhere to land. I shook my head.
“Don’t say that,” I said, my voice gone husky.
“It’s the truth,” she cried, her whole body crumpling.
The baby wasn’t Noah’s. Holy shit, that information should have been liberating. Those obligations that were anchoring him—fading away. But it wasn’t like that. It was—oh, dear God, that baby wasn’t Noah’s. And all I could think about was him hearing her say those words and the horror he had to have felt of seeing another child yanked away.
I hadn’t realized I’d sat until I found myself springing to my feet.
“Wh—why?” I asked, pacing and swiping at the tears that came unbidden. Oh, my God, Noah had to be devastated. And gone. “Where did he go, Shayna?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Did he take his truck?”
“No.”
Okay. That was good. He couldn’t leave the country on foot, at least. I wheeled around.
“Why would you do this?”
“I didn’t,” she said imploringly. “Not on purpose. We were already back together when I found out I was pregnant.” She shut her eyes and held her palms against her temples. “I thought it was his—God, I wanted it to be his. He—he was so happy.”
I could picture his joy. Hearing that news again. And not being seventeen and still in high school.
“He got down on one knee and proposed,” she said, looking down in front of her like he was there. “I wanted it, Jules. I wanted the fantasy.”
“You knew—”
“No, I didn’t,” she breathed. “Oh, I should have. I know that. But I wanted to forget about Thomas and his psycho mind games.” Sobs racked her body again. “I believed in me and Noah. I bought into the thought of our little family.”
I remembered believing in that once, too. So did Noah.
“Then I had my second appointment, and—” Shayna closed her eyes again, pushing new tears forward. “When they said how far along I was, I wanted to die. All I could think of was how could I take it all back now?”
“Pretty much like you did last night, I expect,” I said.
“And he was crushed!”
“Yes, Shayna,” I said, wanting to throttle her cute little neck. “He moved across the planet for this. For you. To raise his child around family. Told everyone he knows. Again,” I added, feeling sick.
“I thought it would work,” she said, the sobs stealing her breath. “He would love me again. We would be happy.” She took a deep breath and wiped at her face. “Then we came here.”
I shook my head. “Don’t do that. You can’t blame the town for this going south. You had to know it would come back somehow.”
Shayna met my eyes. “I’m not blaming anything. I’m just saying this was the beginning of the end, coming here.” She laughed bitterly. “We came here for a future together, but there is no future here. There’s only past.”
I looked down, knowing instinctively what that meant, and I couldn’t argue with it. She reached for my hand.
“I’m not dogging you for that,” she said softly. “I’m just saying—it is what it is. I thought that what we had was enough until we came here. I mean—he holds people at arm’s length, he always has. I assumed that’s just the way he was, but—then we came here. And there was a difference. He looks at me and sees the sweet love affair we’ve had. He looks at you and sees an entire life he’s missed.” She looked away. “You are everything to him, and I don’t think he even knew that until he saw you.” Her eyes fluttered. “He will never look at me that way, Jules. I could give him ten babies and it wouldn’t change anything.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, rooted to the floor. And I meant that. Regardless of what she’d done, no woman deserved to have to fight a losing battle for their own man.
“I know,” she said. “And I wanted to hate you,” she said on a teary chuckle. “I tried to. But God help me, I ended up really liking you.”
“I know the feeling,” I said, squeezing her hand back. Trouble crossed her features again, and it was time to move forward. “Shayna, what did he say?”
“Nothing,” she mouthed.
Oh, holy hell, that was bad.
“Did you tell him who it was?”
“He knew,” Shayna said. “And I don’t think it was even about that. All that mattered was that it wasn’t Noah.”