Disillusioned (Swept Away, #2) by J.S. Cooper
To the stars. There are no more clouds.
acknowledgments
This book was a labor of love. Thank you to Tanya Kay Skaggs, Katrina Jaekley, Stacy Hahn, Tianna Croy, Cilicia White, Kathy Corbett Shreve, and Gillian Hedges for your excitement as you read this book chapter by chapter. Thank you to all the J.S. Cooper Indie Agents and readers for your overwhelming support of my work. Thank you to my editor, Abby Zidle, for pointing out errors and mistakes in a way that doesn’t make me feel like I failed the human race. Thank you to my agent, Rebecca Friedman, for always being there to offer a listening ear and to providing feedback that is always helpful. Thank you to my good friend Emily Fauquet for driving me to Barnes & Noble so that I could see and buy Illusion in a bookstore. Thank you to Violeta Bermudez-Estrella for making me take a photo with the Illusion paperback after I bought it and posting it all over Instagram. Thank you to all the readers that sent me messages excited to see a book of mine in a bookstore. Your excitement and my excitement were one and the same. Thank you to Katherine Brown for being my biggest supporter from my hot-prof blogging days to now. I can still remember live blogging Grey’s Anatomy every week knowing you were going to read it and comment. And I was just as excited to have one reader as I am to have many more now. Thanks to my mum for finally buying two copies of Illusion after I begged you several times to look for the book in the bookstore. It doesn’t matter if I have a copy at home, you still need to buy it, mum! And as always, thanks be to God for all of His blessings.
prologue
The moment the world changed colors all seems like a dream now. I always think back to that moment and it always plays back slightly differently in my head. You’d think I’d have remembered every single word and action from that day, but I don’t. Each kiss and each sentence is muddled in my mind and the replay is always unique, however, I will never forget the way that I felt.
“Did you really think I’d let you go, Bianca?” His voice sounded muffled as he whispered in my ear softly through the material that was tied around my eyes and across my ears. “Did you think I’d just give up?” The tip of his tongue trailed from the inside of my ear and down the side of my neck. I shivered in the cool room as I strained to move my hands. The rope was tight around my wrists and I struggled in the bed.
“Why are you doing this, Mattias?” I said as his lips pressed against mine roughly.
“Because you want me to.” He bit down on my lower lip and tugged gently. “And because I want to.” He leaned down closer to me and I breathed in his scent, wallowing in the smell of his cologne. The first time I’d smelled him I’d instinctively been attracted to him. I could still remember being in the back of the dark car with him the night I’d been kidnapped. My eyes felt heavy as I thought about his betrayal. How could Jakob have done this to me? How could I have not known he was Mattias?
“You need to trust me, Bianca.” His voice was monotone as he kissed me again, and I tried to avoid breathing in his smell.
“You said that last time,” I whispered, and my body froze as I smelled him again. This time every nerve in my body tingled with shock as the bold musk of the familiar cologne hit me, sending shock waves through my body. His kiss was searching and demanding; wanting something that had been forbidden to him. I lay there, unmoving, trying not to betray my fear.
“I want to make you mine, Bianca. We can make this work.” His voice deepened and I tried not to cringe as I felt his fingers in my hair. I remained tight-lipped, scared that my voice would give something away.
“No,” I said softly, and he froze, confirming what I already knew. “I know who you are.” This time my voice was stronger.
“That’s why this will be so very enjoyable, Bianca,” he muttered, and kissed my cheek before stepping back. “Let the games begin.”
one
One Week Earlier
“Bianca, open up!” I could hear Jakob’s voice through the open window. My heart broke at the sound of worry in his tone. At one time, I would have believed that the concern was for me and my well-being. Now I knew better. Now I knew all Jakob cared about was finding out what I knew and scaring me into trusting him. My body shivered as the cool ocean breeze washed over my trembling skin. I held on to the railing of the balcony and said a quick prayer before I prepared to jump to the next one. It was only a couple of yards away, but I just knew that those couple of yards of space were waiting to pull me down like a dead weight. I looked down at the drop between the two balconies and sank to the floor in fear, unable to take the leap.
“Bianca!” Jakob’s voice was louder as I heard a loud crack coming from inside the bathroom. Adrenaline kicked in—I forced myself to my feet and over the rail at last. “Bianca, stop,” he shouted at me as he poked his head out of the bathroom window.
“One, two, three. You got this.” I took a deep breath and jumped. My ankle caught the railing and I screamed as I landed with a thud on the balcony of the next room.
“Bianca, are you okay?” His silky tone almost deceived me as I struggled to get up. I heard him walking onto the balcony I’d just left, and I scrambled to open the sliding door that led to the bedroom. The lights were off and my heart was beating fast as I tried to open the door.