Disillusioned (Swept Away, #2)(8)

“Maybe the person you’re maddest at is yourself.”

“Why would I be mad at myself?” I snarled at him, but I knew that he was partially right. Even now a part of me wanted to trust him. I’d let my guard down when I had no idea who he really was. I had given myself to him. Even now my body craved his touch and wanted to go back to the hotel room with him. I wanted to be touched, consumed, taken, by him. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare that had become my life. I wanted him to be my Jakob, my protector, the man who’d made me believe there was someone out there for me. And that made me hate myself and my weakness for this man.

“Maybe because you ignored the true clues, the answers that were sitting right in front of you. Maybe you know what the truth really is and you just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”

“You have a gift.” I shook my head sadly. “You have a gift for manipulating people. If I wasn’t so strong, you might have made me believe this was all in my head, that I was the one in the wrong.”

“The truth always wins out, Bianca.” His eyes narrowed. “And we do pay for the sins of our fathers and mothers.” He sighed. “But none of this is in your head, Bianca. We both know that. It just might be that we’re on opposite sides of the truth.”

“The opposite of the truth is falsehood,” I said softly. “You’re on the side of lies.”

“It could be that we’re both on the side of the truth. But that’s something we still need to figure out. I just hope that I can do it soon.”

“Let’s hope so.” I stared at him, wondering how I could both love and hate so deeply the man in front of me. “I certainly hope so.”





three


I didn’t open my eyes until the plane landed in New York. I felt like a stranger to my own city as I stood in the taxi line with the small brown bag a nameless air steward had given me along with a wad of bills. I opened the bag slowly, wondering what Jakob had sent me home with. The bag contained my cell phone, a cardigan, an envelope, and a bottle of water. I stared at the items blankly, my mind still fuzzy from the plane ride. I couldn’t believe I was finally back in civilization. I couldn’t believe he had let me go, just like that. Why had he kidnapped me if he’d been so willing to let me go so easily? My heart felt heavy as I realized that the end had come before there had even been a beginning. I had already failed.

“Where you going, ma’am?” the taxi guy asked as the next yellow cab pulled up.

“Manhattan.”

“Cross streets?”

“Sorry, what?”

“What’s the address?” He sounded annoyed as he looked past me to the long line of people waiting.

“Oh.” I bit my lower lip. “Forty-Second Street, Times Square.”

“You wanna go to Times Square?”

“Yes.” I nodded. That wasn’t my address, but I didn’t want to go directly home. I needed to be around lights and people. I needed to be anywhere but home right now.

“Okay, go up to that cab.” He pointed a few cabs ahead and I walked up to the cab. I looked inside and froze as I saw Steve behind the wheel. My face grew red and my body grew heavy as I stood there.

“You going to Times Square?” the man said in a slightly accented voice, and I nodded and took a deep breath as I stared at the man’s dark skin. This was not Steve. He was not Steve. I needed to stop freaking out.

“Yes, thanks.”

“Back from vacation?” he asked conversationally as we pulled off.

“No.”

“Work trip?”

“No.”

I saw him peer in the rearview mirror. “You’re not going to be sick, are you?” He frowned as he looked back ahead at the traffic, the mirror showing his furtive glances back at me.

“No, I’m not.”

“Good.” He pulled into traffic. “I don’t want to clean up any—”

“I’m not going to be sick,” I snapped, wanting him to shut up. I opened the bag again and turned on my phone. The battery was fully charged and I waited for my texts and voice mails to come through. I was positive that I was going to have millions of texts from Rosie. She must have been so worried about me. I waited for the phone to download all my messages and called my voice mail. I was surprised to hear, “You have two new voice mails.” Only two? That was weird. I pressed one to hear the first voice mail.

“Bianca.” Rosie’s voice was loud and I could hear music in the background. “The bartender told me that you left with some guy. I can’t believe you didn’t even tell me bye. Call me tomorrow with all the details. I can’t wait to hear about your wild night. Love you.” Then she hung up. I frowned as I realized that someone had told Rosie that I’d left with someone. Did she not even realize that I hadn’t been in town for weeks? But looking back, I realized that it hadn’t been weeks or months. It felt like a lifetime, but had only been about a week and a half, if that. Time had lost all meaning on the island. I pressed SAVE and then listened to the second voice mail.

“Bianca, it’s Larry. I think we should talk. Give me a call when you can. It’s about your father.” His voice sounded somber, and my heart started pounding. What could my father’s lawyer have to tell me? I pressed SAVE and then called him back right away. The call went to voice mail and I hung up. Then I decided to call Rosie, but the call went to voice mail as well. I took a deep breath and looked at the Manhattan skyline as we drove across the bridge.