Disillusioned (Swept Away, #2)(5)
All of a sudden Jakob was on my balcony, grabbing my hands and pulling me toward him. “Don’t run away again, Bianca.” His eyes looked dark as he gazed down on me. “It’s not safe here.”
“But aren’t you the one I should be afraid of?” I whispered up at him as he leaned down to kiss me roughly.
two
His lips, though rough, felt like heaven against my lips as my body melted into him, momentarily forgetting how much I hated him. His fingers gripped my hips possessively as he pulled me into him and thrust his hardness into my stomach. My stomach churned as I pulled away from him, my mind battling with my heart.
“Don’t,” I said urgently as my hands pushed against his chest.
“Why, Bianca, why?” he growled as he bit down on my lips. “Why did you have to be her, Bianca? Why couldn’t it have been anyone but you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a good liar, aren’t you?” He stepped back and his arms fell away from me, leaving me feeling bereft. He eyes searched my face and I shivered. “Or did you really not know?”
“I’m not the liar.” I was taken aback and confused by his words. “Did I really not know what?”
“You nearly caught me in your trap, but I suppose that was your plan, wasn’t it?”
“What plan, Jak—Matt . . . ?” I sputtered in confusion, no longer sure what to call him. Jakob felt wrong, but Mattias felt too twisted—and too real.
“You’re just like your mother—beautiful, angelic, and calculating.” He shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he surveyed me in disgust. “Though I wonder if she was as good an actress as you are.”
“I’m not an actress.” I stared at him, wondering how he had turned this around on me. I was pretty sure that was the sign of a sociopath. Apparently he was a pretty talented one, because all I could think about was what he had said about my mother. Was she somehow involved in this? As more than an innocent bystander?
“I wouldn’t expect you to say anything else.”
“It’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” I was angry as I stared at him. “How convenient for you to place the lies on me.”
“I’m sorry.” He sighed heavily. “I didn’t want to take this out on you, like this.” He rubbed his temple. “I’ve just thought about this for so long, not this moment, but your mother and what she did to my family.”
“My mother didn’t do anything to your family, Jakob.”
“My mother lost the man she loved because of your mom.” His voice was hollow as he gazed at me. “I know you’re not your mom. I know that I shouldn’t blame you for her sins, but I just don’t know what to think.”
“Think about what?” I said angrily. “I’m the one that gets to be mad at you, Jakob. You’re the one that lied to me, not the other way around.”
“I feel guilty.” His voice was hoarse and pained. “I fell for you in a very deep and real way. I want you to trust me, but a part of me wonders if this wasn’t what your mom did as well. Was this how she stole my father away? Did she have the same angelic face and beguiling eyes? Did she trap my father with her casual innocence and aura of sex?”
“My mother didn’t do anything.” My voice was thin. “This situation is about you and how you lied to me. This is about how you kidnapped me and tricked me.”
“Just answer me one question, Bianca.” He took a step back and surveyed my face, his eyes keen and aware. I waited for him to ask his question. What could he possibly want to know that would make this any better for him?
“What?”
“Do you truly believe your parents were perfect? Do you really think their marriage was ruined only by death?”
“That’s two questions.” I was affronted. Of course my parents’ marriage had been perfect. I could still remember how devastated my father had been when my mother died. He’d loved her so much. They’d been a perfect couple, the couple that we all aspired to be.
I was about to answer when all of a sudden a memory hit me: I was sitting on the floor in the corner of a room, playing with two stuffed toys while my parents were whispering furiously. I looked up to the side to see tears streaming down my mother’s face. My father was gripping her arms tightly and muttering something indecipherable. I sat there playing with my toys and turned away from my parents, oblivious of the tension in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the memory.
What had they been arguing about? I was pretty sure I could remember my mother saying, “I didn’t love him,” but then the memory changed to my father’s voice saying, “I didn’t love her.” My eyes popped open and I stared into Jakob’s astute eyes. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I stood there, my body cold in the warm night. What memory was that, then? I started to shiver as I pictured my mom’s tears and sobs. Had she cheated on my father?
“I see that you understand now.” His voice was cold.
“Understand what?” I whispered, not blinking for fear of my tears falling and embarrassing me. I felt numb inside, and only part of that feeling stemmed from the truth I’d found out about Jakob’s being David’s brother and a Bradley.