Craving The Player (Amateurs In Love Book 1)(86)

“What would I even do? Stop her at the airport without a working plan as to what happens next?” I choke, more upset with myself now than I was while destroying my liver last night. Sophie’s words only tell me what I already know and how I already feel. It seems like such an easy decision, yet I still won’t let myself budge.

“You can figure that stuff out after you tell her how you feel. Don’t let her leave thinking that all she was to you was a fuck buddy—a way to pass the time until you found something better. She deserves better than that.”

“I know that, Sophie!” I curse, yanking on the messy hair flopping in my eyes just to feel the sharp pain. “This is too complicated.”

“What’s complicated?” Clayton asks, eyes droopy and bloodshot as he stumbles in through the front door, shirt hanging around his neck. I can feel my guard rising again as I straighten my back and shake my head, refusing to look at the hopeful glimmer in Sophie’s eyes.

“You look like shit.” I force myself to laugh.

“Ditto,” he replies before turning to Sophie curiously. “What are you doing here? You two didn’t . . .” There’s something dark in his voice, something that he’s attempting to hide.

“Hell no. You’re disgusting,” Sophie gags.

“Then what are you doing here?” He’s too curious.

“She was picking up the rest of Sierra’s shit before she leaves town,” I rush, nodding to the small collection of clothes piled up outside my bedroom.

Realization flashes across his face as he nods and breaks into a smile. “In that case, wanna join me for breakfast, gorgeous?”

“No thanks. I have to get those clothes to Sierra. She leaves in four hours.” Her last sentence is shot towards me, and I hate that I’m going to pretend like I never heard this entire conversation as soon as she leaves.

My gaze drops to the floor when she bends down to grab the last remnants of Sierra, and I keep it there until she says goodbye to Clayton and leaves.

It isn’t until I hear the front door click shut again that I look up and clench my fists until my knuckles are white, self-hatred coating my entire being.





Sierra


The back of Clare’s SUV sags as I place the last of my bags inside. I never thought I would find myself relating to an inanimate object, but I feel pretty saggy myself right about now.

I can almost feel the curiosity radiating off my sister as she remains eerily quiet and stands on the road behind me. When I step to the side, out of the way, she doesn’t hesitate to reach out and close the trunk door with a forced smile.

“Is there something you want to say, Clare? You’re creeping me out with the whole quiet thing. It’s a bit out of character,” I sigh, a ghost of a smile on my face that I know looks ridiculously fake.

“What? No.” She laughs quickly. “I’m just excited for you. It has nothing to do with the puffy eyes or the fake smiles that I’ve been getting since I saw you this morning.”

Even though I pushed, it still sucks to hear that I have done a shit job at keeping my feelings hidden. I didn’t need to be dealing with this on the day that I'm supposed to leave and start over.

“Do you want to talk about it? Liz tells me that I’m a good listener.”

“Can we go first? I don’t want to miss my flight,” I mumble, playing with the uneven strings on my baggy hoodie.

“Of course!” She nods and moves quickly towards her door.

As she gets inside, I let out a slow breath and look back at the plain brick building that I called home for such a short time. I always thought that I would be here longer, that I would create memories here that I would carry around with me. But the only memories I have in the empty walls of my old apartment are ones that I never plan to revisit again.

The sting building in my eyes is enough to push my feet towards the passenger door. I open it and quickly crawl inside, almost as if I’m running away from something. Which, I guess I am. Or more so running towards something else. Something far from here.

Clare starts driving as soon as I buckle up.

“Thanks again for driving me. I could have called a cab.” I push the words through my dry throat, quickly flicking my gaze to see her smile slightly.

“Of course. I wouldn’t make you take a cab. Plus, it gives me a little more time with you.”

My heart warms. “What am I going to do without you?” I ask, my mood becoming dimmer by the minute.

“Honestly? I have no clue. Probably end up trapped somewhere or losing your mind because you can’t find something that’s been sitting in front of you the whole time,” she teases.

“Wow!” I suck in a breath. “You’re feeling ruthless today.”

“It’s true. You’re a damn mess sometimes, S. But I love you anyway.”

I give my head a shake and shove her arm. “I wish I could argue with you on that.”

“It gives you spunk. Nobody can be as perfect as me.” She flashes me a wink.

“You wish.”

She’s quiet for a minute as she fiddles with the radio controls, browsing through them. I lift a brow when she ends up letting the original station play. “So, everything is taken care of here then? No unfinished business? I would hate for you to leave with any regrets.”