Craving The Player (Amateurs In Love Book 1)(90)



The only downside to walking everywhere every day is having the giant Toronto crowds of businessmen and women, bikers, and impatient teens all trying to do the same thing, pushing past you as if you’re invisible. Which I guess to them, you are. It’s not always so bad, but some days I think I might prefer the struggle of trying to find a parking stall. Emphasis on some days.

A grateful smile pulls on my slightly wind-bitten cheeks when I come up to the obscenely tall, forty-story condominium. I fiddle with the keyring in the pocket of my jacket, pulling out my fob and unlocking the doors before walking inside.

After greeting the concierge, I get into the empty elevator, and lean my head against the wall, closing my eyes as exhaustion washes over me. The ride up to my floor is a lengthy one, and I sometimes debate whether or not a power nap on the way could be warranted. The idea is quickly shot down when I imagine stopping to pick someone up on the way and being seen with drool running down my jaw.

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket, and my heart soars when I pull it out and see Sophie’s name flashing across the screen.

“Hello, gorgeous,” I sing. It’s only been two days since I’ve spoken to my best friend, but in my opinion, that’s two days too long. It’s been hard adjusting to the distance, especially when I first moved here, but every day gets a bit easier.

“Hey, baby cakes. Did I catch you at an alright time? Are you on your way home?”

“Yep. I’m in the elevator. I’m surprised there’s enough service here to talk, actually.”

She laughs, the sound awfully nostalgic. “That’s what you get when your rent is more than what I make in a month.”

“How is work going? Have the kids driven you insane yet?”

A week after I left, Sophie got a job teaching kindergarten at her old elementary school. The previous teacher had quit midway through October, and they had been in the middle of looking for a replacement when Sophie’s resume came up. This is the first steady job that she’s had since we graduated, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

“I had one kid throw a used kleenex at me yesterday, but other than that it’s been really great.”

“Good, Soph. That’s really good.” I toy with the ends of my hair. “Have you seen Clayton lately?”

She sucks in a sharp breath. “Yeah. But what you really want to know is if I’ve seen his roommate, right?”

I chew on the inside of my cheek. Yeah, that’s exactly what I want to know. But I don’t ever ask directly. Just the sound of his name has tears welling in my eyes. Even after not seeing him for three weeks, his name remains branded in my soul.

“I haven’t seen him in a week, S. Clay told me that he moved out of the apartment.”

I stand still, frozen in time. I hate the way my heartbeat skyrockets, imagining all the reasons as to why he would have done that. But I shut down all of the what ifs before they grow into something too big and hopeful.

“Oh,” I mutter, watching each floor the elevator passes light up in front of me.

Several voices are muffled through the phone before Sophie rambles, “I’m sorry to cut our convo short but I have to go! Call me soon! Love you.” she hangs up before I answer her.

The dull sound of the dial tone leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Her swift dismissal after dropping such a bomb on me confuses and hurts me at the same time. It’s not like Sophie to leave like that.

A few seconds later the familiar ding rings through the air and I hurry through the opening metal doors. The entire journey towards my condo is spent avoiding my thoughts and picking at the skin beside my nails to keep busy. It’s a quick walk, but when I reach the door, it feels like I’ve been walking forever.

As soon as I slide my key into the lock on my door, I freeze, my mouth dry. A bright blue sticky note is stuck above the gold-plated numbers on the center of the door. My eyes remain scarily wide as I read the sloppy writing scrawled across the paper.

There’s no me without you anymore baby. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that. Meet me on the roof. I know that you know how to get there. Blame Sophie. I’ll see you soon.

P.S if you forgot about me in the past 3 weeks, I’ll spank your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for another 3.

I hadn't even realized that my hands had begun to shake until I lift one to my lips. Shock, fear, anger, and happiness are among the feelings racing through my veins as I re-read the note, not believing that he could be here. Especially not for me. Not after this long.

I knew that he tried calling me the day that I left, but when he didn’t leave even a single message, I assumed they were an accident. He never called again, so neither did I. I learned to wake up every day and accept that we were over, as best as I could. I never thought that there was even the slightest chance that he was thinking about me, let alone planning on coming here.

I have no idea what to do. Do I go? Do I stay?

Shit, it shouldn’t be this complicated. My chest is pounding and my stomach feels like it could fall to the carpet at any second. Oh, fuck it. I won’t be able to forgive myself if I don’t at least go and see what he has to say.

I pull the note from my door and slide it into my pocket before heading towards the maintenance door a few doors down. Yeah, it’s kind of weird that I found myself compelled to open a maintenance room door one day, but I was bored and when I found out what it led to, I was happy that I did. If I hadn’t snooped, I wouldn’t have figured out that it was really only there to hide a stairwell that takes you up to the roof of the building.

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