Conviction (Consolation Duet #2)(41)

“So,” Mark puts his feet on the edge of the bed and reclines back. “We can avoid burning vacation time if we talk work, and I’m all about making Jackson pay, so let’s chat.”

I shake my head and try to rest.

He nudges me with his foot. “I’m not kidding. I’m planning a giant vacation and I need all the time I can get. You’re not dying, so it’s billable hours.”

“I’ll call Jackson now if you want,” I say as the room spins slightly.

The doctor walks in and smiles. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Gilcher. I wanted to go over the results of all your tests.”

“Oh, he’s not—” I start to say but Mark cuts me off.

“Comfortable in hospitals. My wifey here is concerned I will end up in a bed with her.”

He’s lost his damn mind. I stare at him, waiting for him to correct himself, but he grabs my hand and smiles. “For the love of God.”

“She’s just tired . . . please, Doctor.” He pauses and kisses my hand.

I yank my hand back and slap the top of his. Idiot.

“Well, your blood tests came back and showed your blood sugar is low, but it also showed that you’re pregnant.”

My mouth falls slack and my heart rate accelerates. “No, that’s not possible.”

“Congratulations,” she smiles.

Mark laughs loudly, snapping me out of my trance. “It was all my super sperm. Glitter and Sparkle, baby.”

“Doctor, please can you run it again. It’s not possible for me to be pregnant,” I say urgently.

She looks at the chart and walks over to the side of my bed. My blood pressure is rising and she checks the wires. “I need you to calm down.”

“Lee,” Mark’s voice morphs into concern. “It’s okay.”

“I can’t be pregnant. You don’t understand . . . I can’t get pregnant. I had to go through five rounds of IVF to conceive. I lost four babies because of my PCOS. Please, I’m telling you it’s not possible.” The panic bubbles in my throat, and I start to hyperventilate.

The doctor places her hand on my shoulder. “Focus on breathing, Natalie. I can do a secondary blood test, but your HCG levels are high indicating you are in fact pregnant. I can have the OBGYN on call come in and check you over as well. Just rest, stay nice and calm, and we’ll get everything settled.”

I nod and try to do as she says. My hands settle on my stomach and tears form. I look over at Mark and he looks unsure. “All joking aside, are you okay?”

“No, I mean, if I’m pregnant . . .” I trail off thinking about what it means. Liam and I would be having a baby. Two men . . . two babies . . . one broken heart.

“I’m happy that we’ll have a little Starlight.” Mark tries to go for funny.

I look over unimpressed. “You do know we’re not married and this is not your baby, right?”

Mark smirks, “I think you need to be happy and laugh. You went through hell trying to get pregnant before, and now you are without even trying. I know it’s the worst timing possible, but maybe this is your time. Liam’s my friend too, and all of this shit is going to be ugly, but you all need to do what’s right so everyone can move forward.” He grabs my hand, and the kind and compassionate jokester becomes the strong man. “I know I f*ck around a lot, but I’m worried about all of you. You’re passing out, Liam’s overseas, and Aaron is a mess. He wasn’t right before he went to Afghanistan, and Jackson and I failed to handle it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask as he sits by my side.

“He wasn’t himself. We all chalked it up to the fertility stuff or other stress at home. He didn’t talk to us much on a good day,” he laughs.

Aaron was always quiet. He lived in his head a lot because of the Navy, but even before that, he wasn’t overly social. With me, it was a little different. We both knew what buttons to push and how to make the other lose it.

“After we got back from the mission where we lost Brian, Fernando, and Devon . . . I don’t think any of us were right. I’m, you know . . . me,” he pauses and I smile. “Jackson had Maddie, and we know he didn’t handle it well, but Aaron was just quiet. I figured it was him dealing with it. I feel like we all failed each other.”

Mark pours his heart out, and for the first time, I really try to see when it all happened. That mission destroyed and bonded the three of them. Aaron, Mark, and Jackson all left the Navy after that. Aaron was injured, but he finished his enlistment. He went through his therapy and never spoke about it. I just assumed he was dealing with it.

“I think I’m as much to blame for that. After all of that, having a baby became my only goal. If he died, I would have something of him,” I sigh and look away.

“Forgive yourself, Lee. We all make choices and some of them aren’t the best, but in the end, none of us are perfect. Aaron made some pretty shitty decisions, but you don’t have to bear his demons—he has to,” he squeezes my hand. “Now, about our beautiful bundle of joy . . .”

My hand rubs my stomach and I get choked up. “I don’t even know if I can be pregnant, let alone carry. You have to promise me you’ll keep your mouth shut.” I look at him as fear begins to swirl. If I’m pregnant by some miracle, there’s no guarantee I can carry full term.