Conviction (Consolation Duet #2)(40)

I hold his wrists and pull his hands down. “I’m not angry. I will always be your friend.”

My head starts to spin and I wobble a little.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Aaron asks, but everything sounds far away.

“I don’t feel good.” I sit on the bed and the room spins a little. “I think my blood sugar is low.”

“I’ll get you some juice.” Aaron leaves the room and I lie here thinking about all that’s happened the last few weeks. Him being alive, Liam and I dealing with the aftermath, Liam deploying, and now Brittany.

He returns and I sip the juice. I need to do better at taking care of myself. All of this stress is going to wear me down.

“Aaron?” I pull his attention back to me. “I want you to know I don’t hate you. Maybe if things had unfolded differently we wouldn’t be able to talk like this. But in a way, you being gone might have saved a lifelong friendship.”

He sits beside me. “I lost myself before the explosion. I loved you, but it was almost hard to come home. I would look at you and it was like we weren’t Aaron and Natalie. Does that make sense?”

I nod, “I get it. When you died, I blocked it all out. I literally couldn’t remember how bad things were. I needed to only remember how much I loved you and how wonderful you were. Then, it all came undone.”

“I think I’ll move out this weekend. I’ve been putting it off, but I can’t keep doing this. I’ll always love you, Natalie.” Aaron lifts his hand and then drops it.

I smile sadly. This is harder than I expected. I know where my heart lies, but having this conversation is immensely sad. The strings that tied us together will be snipped by our own choices. This isn’t death where you feel robbed of your decisions. “You’ll always have a place in my heart. And you’ll always be a part of Aarabelle’s life.”

He leans in and kisses the top of my head. The pain in his eyes breaks me a little more. Aaron doesn’t speak as he exits the room, and when the door shuts, I grab my pillow and cry for the marriage I just lost again.





“I’ve got a few things on the calendar I need to make sure we’re ready for,” Mark says in his command voice.

We had a small issue on the mission in Kuwait. Some of the guys had rounds missing that I know for a fact I ordered. It reminds us all of the problems that led to Aaron’s explosion and Jackson’s shooting. All of us are on edge and double-checking everything. There’ve been two more things that seemed fishy, but we caught them before anything could happen.

“I don’t know what the f*ck is going on, but until we do, everyone is on their ‘A’ game. I want nothing overlooked, and if you have to check it ten times, then do it. I won’t have another life lost on our watch.”

Everyone nods and starts to filter out.

“Lee, can you hold up a minute?” Mark asks.

“What’s up?”

“I want to run a few things by you and make sure we’re all on the same page.”

I tilt my head wondering where he could be going with this. “Okay?”

“We want to bring Aaron back to work. His doctors think he needs to establish some kind of consistency, and I know it could be uncomfortable for you both, but . . .”

“I get it.” I glance away and try to think about Aaron. These are his friends and this was his job. I shouldn’t feel disappointed, but I love it here.

“No, Sparkles . . .” Mark smiles and I roll my eyes. “I’m not asking you to step down.”

“He deserves to be here,” I say and place my hand on his arm. “I can find a job somewhere else.”

“Fucking hell, woman.” He grabs my shoulders and shakes me gently. “Are all of you this damn dense?”

“I know you’re not talking to me like that.” I widen my eyes and he smirks.

Mark has been strange the last few weeks. I haven’t taken too much notice because I’ve been so out of it myself, but he’s been irritable and very unlike him. He even mentioned going to spend time in Washington D.C. for a meeting with some top officials.

He speaks but everything suddenly goes tunnel vision. I feel lightheaded again and I try to grab the table. I’m going down.

“Lee?” I hear Mark call out.

But my hand is weak, and I fall to the ground. Then, everything goes black.

“We’re on our way to the hospital.” I hear Mark talking as I start to wake. “She’s fine, she passed out.”

I open my eyes and I’m being loaded into an ambulance. What the hell? “Mark,” I grumble. I’m so tired.

He puts his phone in his pocket and grabs my hand. “You know if you wanted some attention, you just had to tell me.”

I think I smile but I’m not sure. “What happened?”

“You went down. It wasn’t long, but we want you to get checked out. And since the ambulance happened to be a block away, they got here really quick.”

The EMT pushes Mark back a little then starts to take my vitals. “I need some information.” He asks me all the basic questions and continues to ask about the frequency of the dizzy spells. He checks my sugar levels and asks if I’m diabetic.

Once we arrive at the emergency room, I answer some questions before they start running some blood tests. I’ve been poked and prodded more than I care to know.