Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(41)

“I don’t want to see those newspapers, I don’t want to know what’s in them, I don’t want to see, or hear about them ever and I do not want to see Sean.”

“Georgia, babe, don’t you think you should wait and find out first? It could be nothing; you know how the papers like to make things up.”

“Mum, please, I know Sean, I know him inside out and something went on in that room, I’m not saying the boys raped her, I don’t believe that for a second, but he couldn’t look me in the eye last night, he didn’t tell me something did go on but he couldn’t tell me that it didn’t and I can’t live with that Mum. If he’s having threesomes with girls in hotel rooms now, what’s it gonna be like when they’re really famous? It’s done, we’re over, he can go and live the life he’s been dreaming of and working so hard for all these years, he’s let me down and I don’t trust him, I don’t want to see him again, please Mum, I can’t see him.”

I amaze myself by not crying, my Mum kisses my cheek. “Oh Georgia, I’m so sorry, I wish I could make it all better for ya babe.”

“You can make it better by hiding it all away from me Mum, I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to talk about the band or their music or what they’re doing, and as far as I’m concerned they don’t exist.”

She lets out a big sigh. “I’ll do my best George but with your brothers being so involved, it won’t be easy but I’ll try.”

She stands up and heads out the door. Jimmie has said nothing from where she’s sitting on my bed behind me, I know she thinks I’m being harsh and over reacting but I’ve got to, it’s the only way I know how to protect myself.

“George?” she whispers, as if she’s been listening to my thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“I love you George, I’ll do my best to not talk about this or the band or the boys but it’s going to be so hard and I don’t want to lose you as a friend if I slip up and say something by mistake.”

I shake my head. “You won’t lose as me as a friend Jim, you’re my best friend and you always will be and I understand if this makes things difficult but please just do what you can to save me from this. I can’t see him Jim, it hurts too much, I can’t see those pictures, I don’t want to know what happened that night, ever, so please, as my friend Jim, as my best friend, would you please try and help me with that.”

“Of course I will, forever G, I’ll keep it from you forever, unless you ask me otherwise.”

“Thank you.”

We lay on my bed, spooning, until eventually we must drift off to sleep as the birds start singing.

The next few weeks of my life were a complete nightmare; by Sunday afternoon we had the press hanging about outside our house, trying to get pictures of Marley at first, then trying to get pictures of me, because somehow they had been tipped off that I was Sean’s girlfriend. I finished the last of my exams with Tony driving me to and from school, other than that, I never left the house. Sean sat outside for the few days that they were home, he hid in his car so the press wouldn’t see him, I have no idea what he thought it would achieve. He rang my house almost hourly, even when they flew to Sweden for the last few shows of the tour before coming back to England. In the end my Dad told him not to call anymore otherwise he would get the number changed.

Whoever came up with the phrase ‘No publicity is bad publicity’ wasn’t wrong; the boys album launch was a worldwide success, on the back of all the newspaper headlines, they shot straight to number one. We had more press than ever camped outside the house, as well as the silly little fan girls; the label had to hire minders for the boys and as they were now back in England before the UK leg of the tour kicked off, there was absolute pandemonium down our street every time Marley tried to leave the house. I received untold amounts of hate mail through the post and even had an envelope full of dog shit shoved through the letter box addressed to me. All the crazy little fan girls hated me, they either thought I was still Sean’s girlfriend or they hated me because I had apparently broken his heart, I was paying the price for the bands fame and reaped none of the rewards. I had continuous offers from tabloids and magazines to sell my story to them; they wanted to know all about my life as the sister and girlfriend of the biggest bands in Britain right now. I even had offers to pose topless, my Dad hit the roof and I became an absolute recluse. I knew the very little I did about the bands success because they received so much airtime on the television; I had stopped listening to the radio so as to avoid their songs. In fact I had stopped listening to music all together but I couldn’t make the whole family stop watching the telly, my parents were good and would quickly turn it over or the radio off if I came in the room if something was playing or being mentioned, other than that, I pretty much managed to avoid all contact with anything band related. I didn’t look at the papers, I stopped reading my magazines, I rarely left my room and that’s how it stayed the entire summer. I didn’t see much of Jimmie as she travelled around Britain with the band so that she could be with Lennon. I was jealous, incredibly so, but that was my issue and I knew it was wrong of me, I tried to be upbeat and chatty whenever she called but I was dying inside and so, so lonely; I hadn’t spoken to Marley since we left Spain, on the rare occasions he did come home. I would wake up sometimes and find him standing in the doorway of my bedroom, I would then get up silently and close it in his face, I had nothing to say to him, as far as I was concerned, he had ruined my life, my beautiful, perfect life, that Sean and I had planned out together was over, all because of Marley, Haley The Whore and drugs and I wasn’t yet ready to talk to my brother about any of it.