Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(38)

“Don’t be stupid G, you don’t mean that.” She laughs nervously at me.

“Oh I f*cking mean it Jim, this is only the start, they’ve not even made the big time yet and already there are problems with whores and coke, if that’s the life he wants, then he can take it, I won’t be waiting at home for him while he does all that shit.”

“George, he wouldn’t, he loves you, he wants to marry you, f*cking hell, don’t be so harsh, it was probably all Marley’s fault anyway, you saw him at the weekend, he’s so charlied up all the time, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Even as she spoke I could feel the little man in my chest, with his trowel, his bricks and his little pile of cement, he was building a wall around my heart, to protect it from what was to come.

The next few days were horrible, the worst I had ever endured in my short life, days that would change me forever.

My Dad and the lawyers had the boys out of custody and performing on stage by Friday night. I heard nothing from Sean all day Saturday, my Dad phoned Saturday afternoon to tell us that Haley had withdrawn the allegations and had actually admitted to being the owner of all the drugs that were found in the room. The boys had no gigs until Wednesday night in Stockholm so straight after the show Saturday night, they were going to fly back to England for a couple of days, I thought Sean would have phoned before they left but I heard nothing and was becoming more and more pissed off with him.

My Mum, Jimmie and I went for an Indian Saturday night and drank two bottles of wine, Jimmie and I were fine but my little skinny Mum, who wasn’t a big drinker, was absolutely hilarious when we got home and started playing records. The three of us danced around my parent’s front room and sang into whisks and spoons before collapsing on the sofa in a fit of giggles. I was barely hanging on, I was heartbroken, I was sad, I felt like Sean had abandoned me for this new life but I refused point blank to let anyone know how I was feeling and just pretended that my tears were from laughter and not because my heart was shattered.

Our front door unlocked at about two thirty that morning, my Mum was sleeping in my Dad’s armchair and Jimmie and I were on each end of the sofa when I felt soft lips brush against mine, my eyes fluttered open and it took me a few seconds to realise he was really there and I wasn’t dreaming. I don’t know why I did it but for some reason I pushed myself by my heals away from him, backing myself into the corner of the sofa, his beautiful face fell and he held his breath for a few seconds, his face still close enough for me to watch as he closed his big chocolate eyes and to marvel at his long, dark lashes that fanned his cheeks.

“Georgia, I’m so, so sorry.” I folded my arms across my chest and nodded at him. My Mum stood from the chair gave a cuddle to my Dad and Lennon, Marley had gone into the kitchen area and was sitting at the breakfast bar, I watched as my parents exchanged a look, then both looked at my brother, I stood and gave Len a cuddle, but I ignored Marley.

“Well, now you’re all home safe, I’m going to bed, night, night.”

“Georgia wait, we need to talk.” He looked tired and delicious and I loved him so much but I was hurt and angry.

“Do we?”

He turned and looked at my Dad. “Frank, dya mind if we go up to Georgia’s room so we can talk?”

My Dad’s eyes shifted to mine, “George?” he asked with eyebrows raised.

“Fine,” I huffed, I knew I was behaving like a complete brat but basically, that’s what I was, a sixteen year old brat, a really pissed off brat.

I threw myself on my bed, scooted up and sat with my back against the headboard; Sean lent on my closed bedroom door. “I didn’t do it G.”