Beyond What is Given(95)

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“Is the sex that hot, too?”

“Hotter.” I tried, but my eyes followed him without permission, thirsty for the sight of him.

“Any hotter and the pier would have caught fire,” she murmured.

“Ready?” Josh signaled. “Banner!”

Ember and Mrs. Donovan unfurled the banner, and then we all stood. Jagger and Paisley were in the water beneath us, and my heart almost exploded from the love, the perfection of this moment for them.

“She said yes!” Jagger shouted, and we erupted in cheers. I turned to the box. Slide. Lift. Pull. The doors flew open and my birds took to the sky, joining the rest of the enormous flock. The sky turned white, and I laughed, unable to suppress the sheer joy of it.

We all walked down the pier to meet them on the beach, and my footsteps felt light, easy. The breeze kicked up my skirt, and I used both hands to hold down the soft green eyelet fabric.

Jagger carried Paisley from the water, and as soon as her feet touched the sand, she ran to her parents. They held on to her like she was their most precious possession, and then grabbed Jagger into the hug. Jagger reached for Anna and brought her in.

I’d never seen anything as beautiful. My smile was so big that it almost hurt my cheeks, and tears pricked at my eyes as the moment overwhelmed me. This was the ultimate depiction of love in its most beautiful state.

Pure. Raw. All-encompassing.

I flicked away a tear as Jagger moved, and my eyes locked on Grayson.

He stared at me, the love I’d so sorely needed pouring from his eyes, saying everything we couldn’t. This could have been us. This could still be us.

Have a little faith in me.

The craving to speak to him overruled logic, but General Donovan was already talking to him by the time I made it over.

“So you turned in your duty station requests last week, right?”

I paused behind Paisley’s dad, waiting for Grayson’s response.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, Jagger tells me you’re up at the top of the OML, so it shouldn’t be that hard to get your first choice if you stay there.”

“No, sir.”

“Where were your three choices?”

I held my breath. At least one of them, Grayson. Just one.

“Well, Fort Bragg, North Carolina, sir. That’s my top choice.”

I pushed past the ache in my chest for that one. It wasn’t unexpected.

“Good post. You have ties to the area?”

“That’s home for me, sir. My loved ones are there.”

My ears roared, the sound louder than the ocean.

“And your other two choices?”

“Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and Fort Stewart, Georgia, sir.”

That tiny swell of hope that had sprung up watching the proposal died a slow, agonizing death, bleeding out at my feet in a heap of regret.

“Well, if you can’t get North Carolina, I guess those are the closest for you…”

General Donovan’s voice faded as I walked away, my heart protesting each step as I made my way across the beach. Grayson knew I wanted to go to Colorado, and out of his three choices, none of them were even close.

I was so f*cking done with this.

“Sam!” he called out from behind me, but I didn’t stop. Stopping would mean surrendering to him, and I couldn’t do that anymore.

“Please say something.” It was the plea in his voice that broke me.

I turned and looked up at him, his frame so large he almost blocked out the whole sunset. What could I possibly say to him at this point? “I miss you,” I admitted. “Every time I take a breath, my chest hurts because I miss you so much, and it hurts, Grayson. Everything hurts, all the time.”

“Sam,” he whispered, but I moved before he could touch me.

“Don’t. You touch me, and I’m lost.” I slid into the small opening of my car door, and he recognized it for the escape maneuver it was.

“You know I had to pick North Carolina. I had no choice,” he argued.

“I know, but you left me with none, either. Just cut our losses, Grayson.”

I shoved the lid on the feelings box and got the hell out of there.





Chapter Twenty-Seven


Sam


“Ice cream?” Morgan asked, sliding a pint over the counter island before taking spoons out of the drawer.

“Why not, after all, no one will be seeing this ass for a while.” I shrugged and popped the top on the chocolate-chip cookie dough. That little beach trip two days ago was definitely the last of bikini season.

“We could always head out for a drink if you need something stronger,” she offered. “Tornado watch be damned.”

A year ago I would have jumped that offer so hard I would have bounced. But using alcohol to cope meant I’d wake up in the morning hungover and still heartbroken. No thank you. “This is perfect, thanks.”

“Well, ice cream is the only real action I’ve been getting, so I’ve become quite the connoisseur.” She dug out a bite.

My phone buzzed.

Avery: Hey, I have news for you. Want to meet me at the gym?

As if on cue, a branch from the hydrangea bush outside the kitchen window slapped the glass. The sky was dark for six o’clock at night, and the wind was moving with the approaching thunderstorm. “Looks like we’re in for an evening, anyway,” Morgan said, securing the latch on the window. “Guess I’ll go take off the bra. Want to marathon some Netflix?”