Beyond What is Given(91)

“It’s not already done, your stuff is all still here. I’m here. You’re here.”

“Grayson!” Parker yelled up. “It’s time to leave for the airport!”

“Have Josh take you!” I shouted.

“Seriously?” she said from the doorway. “You’re not going to take us yourself?” She took in the scene and backed up. “Whoa. I guess you finally saw it, didn’t you? His future?” she asked the question softly, without the usual Parker bite.

“Get the hell out, Parker.”

“Just take them,” Sam pled.

“I’ll wait downstairs,” Parker said as she retreated.

“This conversation isn’t done.”

We stood in stalemate, and Sam swatted away her tears. “It’s better this way. You’re graduating in December, going to North Carolina. I’m not. What’s the point of suffering like this for a few more months when we both know it’s coming to an end, anyway. Isn’t this better? Make a clean break now, and you can have Grace. You can be happy.”

I took her face in my hands again. “I don’t want Grace. I want you.”

“I already waited too long. I can’t afford to fall apart any more than I already have.”

Panic took hold, threatening to close my throat. “I told you I will always catch you.”

“But you didn’t. Not this time.” Another tear slipped unnoticed down her cheek.

“We’re not at the bottom yet, Samantha. Have a little faith.” I kissed her, putting every ounce of love I had in me into it, drinking in the perfection of her mouth against mine. “You were made for me. This, right here? This is everything.” She parted her lips, and I slipped inside, melding us together in the only way I could. Our bodies had always communicated better, so I let them. She melted into me, and I almost fist-pumped. Instead, I kissed her harder, deeper, committing myself to her whether or not she wanted me to, and she gave back everything I knew she was, sweetness, passion, completion.

I broke away first, and then kissed her one last time because she looked too damn kissable. “Stop packing. We’ll figure this out when I get home.”

She shook her head. “I love you, Grayson Masters.”

As she stepped back, the distance between us suddenly felt like a canyon. “I’ll always love you, Sam.” She needed the reassurance, I got that.

“I know. But can you honestly tell me that you’ll never love her again? Can you know that?”

I blinked, and my mouth wouldn’t work. I knew the right answer, but it wouldn’t come out. Love Grace again? I’d never stopped, but it wasn’t the same as what I felt for Sam. The two couldn’t be compared. “That’s not fair.”

“Because you can’t say no, and I can’t blame you.” Sam’s posture drooped.

“Grayson!” Parker yelled.

“But I can’t stay. Second place isn’t good enough, not anymore.”

My throat threatened to close. “Wait, and we’ll talk when I’m back. Just wait.”

She flattened her lips and nodded. “It’s not like I can pack out of here in an hour, anyway.”

“Stop packing and wait. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I moved forward quickly, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and whispered, “I’m in love with you, just trust me.” She didn’t answer, and I didn’t wait.

Grace and Parker were both silent all the way to the airport, but I didn’t care much. My head was too full of Sam, of what I could say or do to bring us to solid ground. At least the door was open.

I lifted Grace into her wheelchair, got them checked in, and then brought them to security at the small airport.

“You good to go?” I asked.

Parker nodded and then stood to the side so I could say good-bye to Grace. “I love seeing you, but I might need some time.”

“You’re in love with her. Sam?” Tears filled her eyes.

“Yes. And I’m sorry it hurts you. For the last five years, I’ve been waiting, and I thought it was for you to wake up, to finally be together, but the more I think about it, I was always waiting for her to wake me up. I can’t live without her.”

She nodded and gave me a watery smile. “I understand. I only want you to be happy, Gray. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

I crouched down to her eye level. “I know. You’re my starboard, my right hand. But she’s my squall, this crazy storm that I never saw coming. I can’t let her go. I have to buckle up, hold on, and steer where she’s headed, because nothing else could compare after loving her.”

She squeezed my hand. “She’s lucky. You both are. I’ll always be your friend, and I’ll always be here. Bye, Gray.”

“Bye, Grace.”

I left them at the airport and raced home, breaking every speed limit from Dothan to Enterprise. We were in the open, everything behind us. We could make this work. I pulled into the driveway and barely had the engine killed before I was out and running for the front door. It swung open before me, and I raced up the stairs. “Sam, I’m home!” I called out and knocked on her closed door.

“Sam?” I knocked again, and then opened it slowly.

Fuck. No. No. No.