Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(51)

I gape at him. I’ve been trying to keep myself in control. My tears are only in private and I’ve been doing a damn good job at pretending. “I’m surviving.”

“There’s a saying I know you’ve heard about when things are over, but the bottom line is: it’s never over until you decide it is. The question I guess I should be asking is is he worth giving up on this job?” Sean gives me a pointed look and turns, leaving the room.

I have three days to make a choice and right now the sun and the sand are looking really good. This is the job of a lifetime and here I stand conflicted. He would’ve been worth it, but he’s a liar.

I head to my office and close my eyes but the nausea rolls through. This stress is going to kill me. My phone rings and I ignore it. There’s too much going on in my head to talk to anyone. A few seconds later the text alert beeps.

Gretchen: I’m going to beat you. I hope you understand me. You went and saw Neil? Against my advice. Lucky for you I was informed the suit has been dropped.

Me: I love you.

Gretchen: Yeah, yeah … you’re an idiot but I love you too. Let Jackson know we’re all clear.

Seeing his name causes my heart to squeeze and stutter. How can I be so upset with him and yet miss him?

Me: Sure thing.

The office phone rings and I grab it on the first ring.

“Catherine Pope.”

“I thought I’d get Taylor again.” I hear his deep voice vibrate through the line and I gasp. “Don’t hang up, please. You don’t have to say anything, just listen to me.”

My eyes prick at the sound of his plea. “I can’t. Please, let me go.”

“I’m not ready to lose you. There’s no one else in my heart but you.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple, Catherine. I love you. I’m not married anymore. I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jackson says and my heart beats for a second and then it falters.

A brief sense of relief washes over me as I realize I’m not the other woman, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he never told me. There were more chances than I can even name, and somehow it slipped his mind? No, he purposely kept this from me.

“I’m not angry anymore—I’m resigned. You broke my heart. You should’ve trusted me. I loved you with my whole being and should’ve heard this from you before anyone else. You had friends and family keep your secrets. What else have you kept from me?”

“Let’s talk. Come home and we’ll talk.”

“It’s not my home. There are some things going on here. I need to go,” I say and hang up the line.



“Ashton,” I call out as I enter the apartment. I sent her a text after the call with Jackson that I needed her to come home. If I do take this new position, it will affect her. She’s a huge deciding factor for me. Honestly, she’s the only thing holding me here at this point.

“In here!” she calls out from the kitchen. “I have pizza.”

My stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten all day. I’ve been sick to my stomach over everything. The new job, him, and now the idea of moving. It’s a lot to process.

“Yes! My favorite.” I smile and grab a slice. “I could eat pizza every day. This is the best pizza in Jersey.” I groan and take another bite.

“Okay, so I knew pizza would butter you up, keep eating and remember how much you love me,” she says and I immediately stop eating. This can’t be good.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. Mark called me,” she says apprehensively.

I look at her wondering where she’s going with this. “Okay? Point?”

“He said Jackson is a mess.”

“His company is doing well. That was my focus.”

“Catherine, we know that’s not what he’s a mess over,” she admonishes.

I sigh and roll my eyes. “What do you want from me? I spoke with him today, there’s nothing left for us. I can’t trust him. Words are just words, Ash. He says he loved me … but then he kept something pretty serious from me. He says he would’ve walked through fire for me, but he threw me in it instead. My heart can’t take anymore. I need a fresh start. I need a new beginning, because all of this,” I wave my hand trying to make my point, “Is too much.”

She puts her hands up defensively. “Okay, I just didn’t want to not tell you we spoke. So what’s the emergency that I needed to be home to talk?”

“I got the promotion.”

Ashton squeals and starts dancing around the kitchen. “That’s amazing! What’s the position?”

Here goes it.

“They want me to head up a new satellite office,” I pause making sure she’s listening, “In California.”

Her face falls before she recovers. “Like the state … across the country? Three thousand miles away?”

“The very one.”

“Okay, that’s a big move. Head the office though?”

“Yes, I would run the CJJ Public Relations office in California. I’d hire the staff, get things set up. It would obviously mean a huge raise and title. It’s my dream job, Ashton,” I say, chewing on my fingernail.

“It sounds fantastic. Are you going to take it?”