Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(48)

I stand there dumbfounded at his words spoken directly to me. He’s mingling with the guests but manages to look over and cement me to the ground.

Hate.

Love.

Anger.

Pain.

Lies.

Swirling around like a funnel cloud in my heart. Each twist tears another piece of me to shreds. He continues to hold my gaze until I hear someone behind me.

“Come on, Cat.” She grasps my elbow and pulls me over to the side.

I draw a deep breath and when I let it out, a sob breaks free. Standing where no one can see me, I lose it. I fall apart. The tears stream down my face and Taylor pulls me against her.

“Oh my God.” My breathing is short and I begin to hyperventilate. “I can’t be here,” I say aloud while I struggle to catch my breath.

“Go. I can handle anything that might come up here. Everything’s basically done.”

“I’m so sorry, Taylor.” I hold my torso hoping to keep myself together long enough to get out of here without falling apart again. “Just being in the same room as him right now …” I trail off when I see him standing in front of me.

“You’re leaving?” he asks calmly but the hurt is lingering under his question.

I look at him up close for the first time since the apartment. His eyes are bloodshot and he’s barely holding it together. “Why do you care?” I ask acerbically.

“Really?” Jackson scoffs.

“I apologize, Mr. Cole, that was unprofessional. I’ve done my job. My staff is more than capable of handling any issues.”

Jackson pushes forward and I step back. Seeing me retreat, he stops and looks down. “Taylor, can you give me a moment with my publicist please?” Jackson says softly and I look at her, pleading with my eyes not to leave me. Instead she places a hand on my shoulder and exits the room.

He turns to me, “I know you want space, but I’m asking you to give me five minutes. I don’t deserve it. I know that. But please, I need to explain.”

A tear falls and I straighten myself to stand tall. “If you would’ve trusted me, none of this would be happening. I’d be sitting at that table, holding your hand, whispering about what we could do when we leave. Instead, I have mascara down my face, a dress I want to burn, and a broken heart. I don’t have five minutes to give you tonight.”

I grab my clutch from the chair and start to leave, but he clasps my arm, stopping me. “Don’t you get it?” I ask.

“I deserve a chance to explain.”

“You’re right. You did. A month ago. Instead, you kept something from me. You did what every other man in my life has done. In one second, you managed to prove you’re no different. My father, Neil, hell, throw in my mother if you want … none of them hurt me as much as you managed to. But instead I was humiliated. I was thrown in front of cameras and left to find out something like that—publicly. So while I’d love to let you explain, Mr. Cole,” I sneer while wriggling my arm from his grip, “You had your chance.” I turn on my heel without another word.

Each step I take I feel pain—physical pain. How does it hurt so bad?

“I never lied about how I feel,” he calls out and I pause. “I love you, Catherine. I would walk through fire for you,” Jackson says and my heart stops.

I turn and look at him. “You wouldn’t have had to. I would’ve put out the flames before they reached you. Instead you managed to burn me yourself.”

Seeing the agony spread across his face at my words nearly kills me. I wanted to love him, protect him, not destroy him—too bad he didn’t want the same things.



“Okay, I know it’s only six a.m., but I need you to wake up,” Ashton says, rubbing my back.

“Are you for real?” I ask groggily as I look over at my clock, hoping she was lying about the time. “Ashton! It’s six in the morning.” I roll back over trying to hide my face.

“Yeah, well. I saw the press conference and I need you to talk to me.”

I open one eye exasperated at my best friend. “I don’t need to talk. I’m done.”

“Is he married?”

“I don’t know,” I say and start to sit up.

“What do you mean you don’t know? How the hell don’t you know? What did he say?” She fires off questions so fast I can’t answer. She stands and puts her hands on her hips. “Answer me!”

“Don’t yell at me!” I say as I get out of bed and head into the bathroom. What is with all the people in my life and their damn demands?

When I come out of my bathroom, she’s sitting on the bed with an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean to yell, Biffle. I’m worried about you.”

I sigh and sit on the bed next to her. Funny how I feel the need to comfort her. “I’ll be fine—at some point. He lied to me, Ash. I don’t know if he’s married because honestly I was afraid of the answer. We were together for months, I was basically living with him, and he never told me. To find out like that—in a press conference—was horrific. I felt like an idiot.”

“He’s the idiot, Catherine.” Ashton places her hand on mine.

“I’m done. Those are the only words I can say. There’s no fixing us, because there is no us. I can’t go through another relationship where lies and cheating are even an option. If he is married, then I was his mistress. If he’s not married and is divorced, how could he keep that from me—or why did he think it wouldn’t matter?”