Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(46)

Jackson stands there staring at me while I shake with anger. My jaw trembles as I try to regain an ounce of control. I turn so he can’t see my further breakdown. Just being close to him makes my heart break.

“So this is it then?” He pauses and I nod. “Fine. Once again you’re shutting me out. I can explain it all, but you won’t listen.”

I turn with wide eyes and gawk at him disbelievingly. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. I won’t let you blame me for this! Fuck you! You will not make me the bad guy here. It was on me last time. This one, Jackson, is all you! Lies of omission are lies. I don’t even know what the f*ck is the truth. Was any of it real? Did you mean any of it? Or was I just a game?” My voice rises with each word. I’m seething. How dare he try to put this on me.

“Did it feel like a game, Catherine? Do you really believe any of the bullshit you’re saying? You know me!” His voice drops into a gruff whisper. “You’re the only one who knows me, dammit. Don’t shut me out.”

My eyes narrow into slits as the anger boils through my veins. “I don’t know you at all! I thought I did. Guess the joke is on me. I warned you. I told you that day in the hospital what I needed from you. I guess your loyalty lies with your wife.” I step forward wanting to slap him, hurt him like he’s hurt me. “Go get ready before we say things we’re going to regret.” I turn and grab my bag to start filling it. Fuck it, at this point I couldn’t give a shit if I have to buy everything new.

“Wow, okay, I see how it is. You’ve already made up your mind without hearing my side.”

“What were the only things I asked from you?” I raise my hand and tick them off one at a time. “Fidelity, well, that’s shot to shit. Honesty, hmmm, we can cross that one off. Loyalty, yup, another winner. So not only did you break one, no, you got all three down in one fell swoop. Good job, Jackson, you sure came out on top.” I’m seething. The anger rolls off of me in waves.

“I never—you know what, you’re going to make your assumptions regardless of what I say. You’ll never know how much I wish I could go back and change things. One day when you learn everything, then you’ll feel different.” He shakes his head and enters the spare room.

“Doubtful.”

When the door shuts, I rush to the bedroom and start grabbing anything I see that’s mine. I need out of here, his scent is everywhere. Everything is a memory. I can’t look at anything without seeing us. The bed where we made love last night, the couch where we watched movies and read books, the shower, the kitchen, the memories are everywhere and I can’t take it. My breathing is heavy and I feel dizzy. Everything is happening so fast. How much more can one heart break before it’s past the point of repair?

As I approach the front door with my bag, I hear his voice. “You’re going to leave after everything, without even talking?” His voice cracks at the last word.

“Did you miss the press conference?” I refuse to turn and look at him.

“No, I saw it all.”

“I figured, since you called a few hundred times. I guess you missed the part where I didn’t want to talk to you. You want to talk now, but the months we’ve been together you failed to mention it. Instead you lied to me.”

“I never lied. I didn’t know how to tell you,” he admits and I still have no idea what part he means.

Is he married? Is he divorced? Is she going to show up one day and he’ll run off with her? I spin and look at him with tears threatening, “Well, here is an idea … hey, Catherine, I know we’re getting serious, but I’m married, or I was married, or whatever the truth is. You didn’t do that though.” I step forward and my voice is laced with venom. I’m seething and my world is crumbling around me. “Instead you let me fall in love with you, care for you, and find out like that!” I hold on to my stomach as the pain slices through me. “I trusted you. I loved you with everything inside of me. I put my career on the line for you—for us. But you kept a marriage from me. Are you still married? Don’t answer that. It’s not my business anymore because we aren’t anything.” Jackson’s eyes close as he stands there listening to me go on.

“I should’ve told you. I know this! Don’t you think I wish I could go back and tell you about Madelyn?” he says with anger radiating off him.

I gasp and my hand flies over my mouth. God, she has a name.

“Why are you doing this? I don’t want to know her f*cking name! I don’t want to know anything. I can’t do this tonight. As your publicist, I advise that with your next PR company, you should be upfront so they don’t stand before the press and look like a f*cking idiot. Not only did your girlfriend—well, ex-girlfriend—have to find out in the most embarrassing and humiliating way possible, but your publicist was thrown for a loop on camera. Now I have to go to work. My client needs me. That’s what you are. You lost me in any other capacity. I’ll see you at the party, Mr. Cole.”

I turn on my heels and walk out the door. My heart may have just been left in his apartment, but I’m going to work and I don’t need it. He can have it, since it’s dead anyway.





The hotel in midtown Manhattan is arranged perfectly while everything else in my life is a mess. I look around and want to leave already. This is the worst possible place for me, being in this room, all dressed up but feeling naked and exposed. I was on camera when I found it all out, everyone saw. But more than that, he ripped me wide open when we spoke.