Beautiful Broken Rules (Broken, Series #1)(100)

A few times Quinn and Cole had asked where I went for lunch and if they could come join me, but I just told them I went to study hall. I’m pretty sure Quinn went to check on me one day, because later, she asked which study hall I was in. I eventually told her I had found a place to hide, but I haven’t been able to tell them where I go because this is my happy place. I like coming here alone.

I sat on the roots of the tree with my knees pulled up to my chest and my face in-between them. I closed my eyes, pulled in long deep breaths, and released them slowly, willing myself not to cry. I knew this was coming; I told myself he would eventually get a girlfriend again. Warning yourself about something and then having it actually happen is a whole different story. At least I didn’t see her full on kiss him, it had only been a cheek kiss. It could have been so much worse.

“Hey Emers- uh… Em.”

Startled, I jolted backward and knocked my head on the trunk of the tree, once again embarrassing myself in front of Jaxon. I laid my head back down on my knees. Maybe if I keep my eyes closed tightly, he would go away.

“Oh shit, sorry! Is your head okay?” He placed his strong, warm hand on the back of my head.

I winced and moved out of his hold. “Jaxon, please don’t. I don’t know how you even found me here,” I said into my legs.

“I know that you always sit here,” he replied, crouching down in front of me. When I finally looked up at him confused, he continued, “I’ve been sitting under that tree over there,” he pointed across the lawn to another tree about fifty yards away, “for awhile now. One day I noticed you walking over here and hiding behind this one. I started coming out here every day to watch you sit here. I just needed to know if you were okay. I hate when I see you cry over here by yourself. I almost told Quinn once where you were so she could comfort you, but then realized you probably come here to be alone.”

All this time, I’ve come out here to release some of my most private thoughts, frustrations and sadness. I’ve cried and I’ve screamed. All along, he was fifty yards away watching. This was about a hundred more times mortifying than my courtyard spectacle a month ago.

I stood up and grabbed my bag. “Well, I’m glad I’ve been over here putting on a show for you. I hope you’ve enjoyed my humiliation, but I think now it’s time for the curtain call.” I started walking away from him.

“Emerson, wait…” He came jogging up to me.

“IT’S EM, YOU DON’T GET TO CALL ME THAT ANYMORE!” I yelled at him. I was thankful we were so far away from the mainstream of campus, because I really didn’t feel like having an audience for another scene with Jaxon.

“Em, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’ve been enjoying your pain. I came over here to make sure you knew that I’m not with Tatum. I don’t know why she kissed me on the cheek like that. I think she just wanted you to think something was going on. I told her not to do that anymore.”

“You don’t need to run anything by me. I don’t have any hold over you or your actions.” I continued walking away from him. What was he doing? Didn’t he understand how much this hurts to talk to him?

This must have set him off finally, because he hollered back at me in the empty field. “You think I’m not in pain? You think my heart wasn’t ripped out of my f*cking chest till I couldn’t breathe anymore? You think this is easy for me?”

“Isn’t it though? I mean, this was your idea. I certainly didn’t choose this for myself,” I quietly said, turning toward him.