Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(72)

He heard her stop a few feet from the house, then the crackle of the leaves moved away, the sound growing slightly more distant. He almost moved forward, but the sound stopped again. And then he heard her steady step, firm and fast as she returned. Finally she stood in the door, the candle flame lighting her face even as the first full rays of the sun lit her from behind, haloing the curls that had worked loose from her braid.

She glanced about, not seeing him; a light frown marred her forehead, and then she caught sight of his boots. Her eyes dropped to the floor and then moved up, fast, to his face, and then down again more slowly. Her feet took a step forward and she closed the door behind her.

“You came,” he said, although the words seemed needless.

“Did you doubt?”

“How could I not?”

“I thought you felt you knew me well. You knew your note would leave me little choice.”

He smiled at the reluctance in her tone. “Now, if I said that I dared you to come—then I gather you would have had no choice but to come.”

“Have you been talking to Bliss?”

“Duldon.”

“Unfortunately, he is correct. I do hate to back down when challenged. And you knew that note was a challenge—even if it was not explicitly stated.”

He nodded his understanding. “And am I not a challenge? Yet you have not said yes.”

“You are most definitely a challenge, but I am not sure that you are a risk I can take. I have spent the whole night debating with myself.”

“What is the difference between a risk and a dare?”

She pulled in a deep breath, her breasts tight against the cotton of her dress. “I am not sure that I know, but I know that the costs of saying yes may be too great.”

“How so?” He stepped forward, letting the light fall on his face.

Her eyes caught his and held. “I came so determined to try to explain the full truth, but now I find that I have not the words.”

He smiled. “I have never known you to be at a loss for words.”

She smiled back, but it did not reach her eyes. “I normally am not, but around you I find everything changes.”

“Then say yes.”

“Because we will muddle along well together?”

“You know it is more than that.”

“Ah, yes. You desire me, desire what I am willing to do.”

“I do not deny that, but more than anything I desire your pleasure, the pleasure you take in being willing to do those things. I even enjoy when you resist me. I greatly enjoy trying to persuade you—and I am not simply talking of the bedchamber.”

“And what of everything else?”

Running his fingers through his hair, he waited a moment and then spoke. “That is the muddling you spoke of. I enjoy your company, Angela. I would not have asked you to marry me if I did not wish to sit to dinner with you for the rest of my life. I would not have asked you if I did not wish to wake up with you in the morning. I know that is not as romantic as you would wish, but it is true.”

Now it was her turn to be silent.

“Can that not be enough?” he asked.

“Is it enough for you?”

“I rather think it is.” As long as it was with her.

She turned from him, placed a hand on the door’s handle, and he briefly thought she would leave, but instead she just leaned forward, resting her head against the wood. Her shoulders were high and tense, and he wanted to move forward to rub and ease them.

Her ribs expanded and then fell back. She pushed herself away from the wall and turned, her face still and solemn. “I wish it were enough for me, but I don’t think it is. I do want more. Yes, I too could sit with you every night and wake with you every morning, but I fear I would freeze to death without true affection between us. I have come to care for you too much. You could hurt me too easily, destroy me. I cannot take that risk. I do not wish to be destroyed.”

“What if I dare you?”

Did she actually pale? Perhaps it was only a trick of the light.

“Don’t.” Her voice was very soft.

Would she really give in just because he dared her? He could not believe it, but it seemed underhanded in any case. “I would not.”

She nodded. “Thank you.” Her gaze left him and wandered about the room. She focused on the great bed. He watched her throat move—a large gulp. “I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I do.”

“And that is why you chose to meet in a room with the largest bed I have ever seen.”

Well, he could not deny that the bed had entered into his thoughts, but…“I have already proved that a bed is not necessary if that is what I want.”

She did not look convinced.

“I do wish to talk,” he stated.

“Perhaps, but that is not all you want.”

“I am a man.”

Her face grew still. “And being a man, if there is a bed your thoughts automatically turn to sex.”

“It does not require a bed.”

Her lips pinched tight. She did not appreciate his humor. “And where the mind goes, the body follows.”

“If possible.”

“That is why I cannot marry you.”

He was losing patience. Stepping forward, he placed a hand on each of her shoulders, relishing the velvet of her skin.