Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(73)

Her eyes darkened and a puff of air slipped through her parted lips.

He had her; now to push his advantage.

He moved closer yet, until only a handbreadth separated them. “I do not consider it bad that when I see you my thoughts turn to all the delicious things I would like to do to you.” He stroked his fingers down her shoulders and along her clavicles, slipping the tips beneath the edge of her dress.

A slight shiver took her. Her lips parted farther. Another swallow.

He leaned forward, taking in the fresh lemon scent of her hair.

And then suddenly she was stepping back, pulling away. “No, I don’t object to your thinking of what you would like to do to me. What I object to is that I imagine you are the same with any woman. You want me now, but what about tomorrow or when you are back in Town and some opera dancer catches your fancy. I thought I could live with it. I tried to make myself believe that it was the way of life, but it is too much. Trying to accept it changes me. I cannot be myself and live with knowing you are with another.”

What was she talking about? He’d never given her reason to have such doubts. “When have I ever given you reason to think that I wanted anyone but you? Have you seen my eyes follow another woman when you are near?”

“And you just happened to be so acquainted with Madame Rouge’s? Or are you going to pretend it was your first time there?”

“Clearly that was not the case. I have not pretended that I do not have experience in these matters, but I do not understand why that is relevant now or what it has to do with you marrying me. You knew all this before.”

She turned and walked away, coming to stop before the window. It was almost full light now. “Yes, but I had not thought about it deeply—and somehow I imagined it would be different when I married. Perhaps if you loved me I would still believe it.”

“I am still not quite sure I understand what has you so upset.”

She turned back to him, and her eyes looked wounded. “I want a husband who will be faithful to me.”

He was obviously missing something here. “And you do not think I would be?”

“Would you?” The intensity of her focus cut him to the quick.

“I believe so. I have always meant to be. It is part of why I have put off marriage for so long.”

“And does your idea of being faithful include having a mistress?”





Chapter 21


She knew she’d been determined to be honest, but still she could not believe she was asking these questions. All this time of being silent, of accepting that life worked by certain rules, and now she was breaking them all.

He stood perfectly still. “No, I do not consider having a mistress to be faithful.”

“Truly.” She could not keep the disbelief from her tone.

“Why do you ask these questions?”

Images flooded her mind, of him on the stage and the naked woman so ready to play his flute. “You did not seem to feel that courting required you to be faithful. Do you deny that you had a mistress all the while you were dancing with debutantes? That even when you first paid attention to me, you were indulging with your opera singer or dancing girl, whatever she was?”

His eyes stilled. He had not expected her to know about that.

“An actress, actually,” he finally answered. “And a rather good one.”

Was he trying to defend himself or playing for time? It was hard to know. “Do tell.”

“I am not sure why you are so upset. There is a great difference between matrimony and…”

“Shopping. That is what you were doing, is it not, shopping for a young lady you found suitable?”

Now it was time for his lips to draw tight. “You could put it that way, but I would simply have said ‘searching.’?”

“And your actress?”

“I am still not sure I understand the difficulty. I was not promised to anyone. She was a necessary distraction.”

“Ah yes, all those rooms with beds that had you thinking of sex.”

He glared at her. “As I said, the bed is not necessary. The thoughts are simply there.”

“Yet you tried to imply that it was I who caused them—not just any woman.”

He turned and walked from her. Pulling a chair away from the small table against one wall, he sat, spreading his legs in front of him. “It is you. I have never been like this before.” He gestured to the flap of his pants. Even now, even in the midst of this discussion, it was clear that his cock was ready.

She was not sure if that was either believable or flattering. “And why should I believe that?”

“Because you believe me. Have I ever lied to you?”

“Not with words.” It was impossible not to believe their whole first courtship had been a lie, given how it ended.

“I am not sure I understand—and I want no further confusion between us.”

She let out a long slow sigh. “How can I not regard the affection you originally showed me to be a lie, when later you told me that none of it was real?”

“I stand corrected. I think perhaps it was my later words that were a lie, although to be fair I did not realize it at the time. I was trying to protect us both.”

“Now I am afraid I’m the one who does not understand.” She went and sat across the small table from him.