Absolution(68)

Just as she felt herself giving in to him completely, he pulled away. She stared at him breathlessly for several moments, her mind struggling to ascertain fact from fiction.

“Am I dreaming?” she whispered, her head spinning.

Jack’s thumb caressed her jaw. “Nope. Not dreaming.”

She blinked, afraid he would disappear. His hand slipped from her cheek and he looked nervous, leaning away from her as if putting some distance between them would help.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to do that… I shouldn’t have done that.”

Her heart raced. “It’s okay. I wanted you to.”

He glanced at her anxiously. “I think that maybe… ”

She smiled, her inhibitions leaving in an all-out stampede.

Whatever he was about to say vanished into the ether and he smiled back at her, amused. “I think that maybe we need some coffee. You definitely do.”

She shrugged, still tasting his lips on hers and feeling like her grip on reality was slipping a little. For a change though, it didn’t worry her. In fact, she liked it.

“Okay,” she smiled, as he got up and headed for the kitchen.



Jack waited impatiently for the coffee to brew. He glanced through the kitchen door at Ally, who was still sitting on the couch, getting comfortable.

Why did I do that, why did I kiss her? What was I thinking?

He had taken advantage of her, which only served to make him feel like more of a fraud. He had to tell her. Only now, there was so much more at stake, which made everything that much worse.

God, how he wished his father were here. He would know what to do.

The coffee finished brewing and as he poured, his phone began vibrating. He frowned, digging it out of his pocket and staring at the screen for a second before declining the call.

“New phone – first thing tomorrow,” he muttered to himself, shoving it back into his pocket.

He picked up both cups of coffee and made his way back to the living room. “Here we go. Nice and strong, just what – “

She was asleep. She had slumped back into the couch, her head resting against the over-stuffed cushion behind her, breathing heavily.

He sighed. “Great timing.”

He put the coffee cups back on the kitchen counter. Walking over to sit down on the couch beside her, he picked up her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Ally? Hey – time to wake up.”

She didn’t even stir. He looked down at her hand in his. It was smaller and paler, but stronger, too. He turned her hand over and ran his fingers gently over the calluses at the base of her fingers. Infinitely stronger.

Glancing towards her bedroom, he debated his next move. He couldn’t just leave her on the couch and go home. He stood up, gathering her into his arms.

“Come on,” he murmured. “Time to sleep it off somewhere a little more comfortable.”

As he stood with her in his arms, he could feel her braces digging into him. There had been times tonight when it had felt like nothing had changed between them. Then there had been the times when he was acutely aware that things were so different now.

Dancing with her had been one of them. The way she held onto him, the weight of her body against his, the knowledge that she was completely dependent upon him to keep her safe. The realisation was a sobering one. His reasons for wanting to dance with her were selfless, spurred on by the longing he had seen at Barneys. But when they were actually dancing, he had realised the magnitude of what he had done. It had reduced her to tears. He almost felt guilty that he had enjoyed having her so close to him.

And now, as he held her in his arms again, it was very different. Her small frame had been divided into two distinct parts; the strong shoulders he cradled in one arm, and the slight legs draped over the other. It wasn’t only her body that had changed, though. The inner strength she exuded seemed completely at odds with her delicate frame.

He carefully pushed her bedroom door open wider with his foot. Sidestepping the wheelchair next to her bed, he set her down on top of the covers. She stirred and he knelt beside the bed, waiting to see if she would wake.

“Dreamt I was dancing,” she smiled sleepily, eyes still closed.

His heart melted. “It wasn’t a dream. You were dancing.”

“I like dreams like that, better than the other ones,” she murmured into the pillow.

He brushed her hair tenderly away from her face. “What other ones?”