12 Days of Forever(21)

“Hey, Mom, can we go downstairs and watch a movie?” Quinn walks in from the other side of the kitchen, and I step back so he doesn’t see me.

Harrison moves away from Katelyn to give his son her undivided attention. She runs her fingers over his shaggy hair, pushing it behind his ear. “Grandma will be here soon. Xander went to pick her up from the airport and they were stopping to get Grandpa, so chose a movie that you guys won’t mind shutting off for a while, okay?” Quinn nods and runs off.

So that’s where Xander is. I want to be mad at him for keeping me waiting, but the fact that he’s picking up my mom gives him massive bonus points. Yesterday, being with him, shopping and then ice-skating was probably one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Being with Xander takes no effort at all. Everything seems to flow as if we’re in sync. When I’m with Oliver, I’m always on edge. I’m constantly watching where I’m stepping, what I’m saying. My clothes have to be perfect. My hair has to be styled. I always have to be en pointe. With Oliver I feel stressed out, but he’s comfortable. With Xander, I’m anxious and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

Even the way Xander touches me is different, better. He hesitates, as if he’s asking my body for permission to be caressed by him. The rise in my body temperature and the pebbling of my skin is all because of him. Yesterday, I felt seduced even though our night ended with a simple but lingering goodnight kiss. It was like he was showing me what I’m missing by not living here, or what it’d be like if he and I were together.

Even now, thinking about being with him makes my body tingle with anticipation. I’m not expecting that we’ll be together like that again, or that he even wants to see me outside of our lives with my family, but I’m hoping.

The door opens, and I turn. My steps down the hall are slow as people file in. First is an older man I’m assuming is Katelyn’s father-in-law, and next is my mother. She doesn’t see me and that’s okay because watching her interact with Mr. Powell is worth me being forgotten. He helps her with her coat, and the smile she has for him is unwavering. I’m going to have to ask Harrison what that’s all about. It would be nice to see her happy with someone, anyone for that matter, as long as he treats her like a queen. She deserves it. All my life, Harrison and I were put in front of her happiness. It’s time she started living for her.

As soon as my mom sees me, I’m in her arms. I’ve missed her so much. “Baby girl, I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too, Mom.”

She pulls away and places her hands on my cheeks. There are tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy that I have my family home for Christmas.”

I nod and before I can say anything, Quinn is wrapped around her waist. I’m soon forgotten, but that’s okay because the man that I want to give my attention to just motioned for me to follow him into the living room.

Everything moves in slow motion for me as I walk to Xander. He’s smiling, but his lower lip is pulled into his mouth. The way he’s looking at me makes me wish we were alone. I don’t know about him, but I’m undressing him with my eyes and know I’m not doing him justice. I need to stop thinking about him like that and just enjoy our friendship.

He kisses me on the cheek before stepping back and putting the customary space between us. “Sorry I’m late. I should’ve called.”

“Yes, you should have,” I joke, reminding myself that we’re not a couple, and he doesn’t owe me anything.

“I would’ve, but I don’t have your number.”

I laugh and step a little closer. My hands ache to clutch the sides of his sweater, to pull him close and whisper my number against his lips. “I could probably give you my number.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he says, leaning closer.

“What’s wrong, mate? Does she have bad breath?”

We step away quickly, and both of us blush. I hear Jenna yell Jimmy’s name, but the damage is done. Liam and Harrison are both standing next to him. Liam is expressionless and Harrison’s eyebrow is raised. He doesn’t look pissed — not that I’d care. I’m an adult and can do what I want.

Harrison runs his hand over his beanie and clears his throat. For someone who told Xander that he’d be okay with us, he’s sure having a hard time finding something to say. “Uh… yeah.” He looks at Liam who shrugs but doesn’t bother looking at Jimmy because let’s face it, anything Jimmy says will be crude. “Katelyn says the food is ready.” Harrison walks away, followed by Jimmy who is laughing.