12 Days of Forever(18)

My problem is that I overthink everything. Yvie and I are both adults and capable of making our own decisions. I could go down the friends’ route and just hang out with her while she’s here, or I can break my own heart and put it all out there for her. The third option is to do both. Take whatever this connection is between us and make the best of it, and if that means we end up naked and on my weight bench with her legs straddling me, so be it. I’ll just be there when she gets on the plane and heads back to New York City.

I take her hand in mine and start walking. She has a list of presents to buy and if it means I get to spend the day with her, I’m going to brave the crowds.

“Who do you have left to buy for?” I ask her as we meander through the hoards of people.

“The twins,” she says as she lets out a sigh. I can’t tell if it’s from frustration or if she’s just being dramatic.

I laugh, hoping to put her at ease. “Is that a good thing?”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know them very well so I’m really not sure what to buy them. With Quinn, it’s easy. With Peyton and Elle, not so much.”

One of the benefits of living in Beaumont is going to be my savior. “I can help, you know, if you want me to? I’ve spent some time with them and know what they like.”

Yvie stops us, much to the disgruntled shoppers who have to move around us. “Am I a bad aunt for not spending more time with them?”

I move us to the side so we aren’t bumped and pushed by others. “Many people live away from their relatives. You can’t think that you’re a bad aunt because you don’t know what the girls like. Quinn grew up with you and the twins have only just come into your life. You need time to get to know them.”

“I know, but how do I do that living in New York?”

“Tell Harrison that he has to bring the kids to you for at least a month every summer,” I say with a smirk. Her face lights up acknowledging that I am a genius. “C’mon, twinkle toes, let’s get this shopping done.” I put my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me. It’d be so easy to capture her lips, but I refrain. I opt for the ever platonic kiss on the forehead and call it good.

Within two steps of entering the holiday foot traffic, my hand drops from her shoulder, my fingers entwining with hers. It’s more intimate, at least for me. I direct Yvie to a very girly store. I’ve seen these bags litter the James’ house so I know one of the girls likes to shop here. My guess is Elle. She’s the princess in the making, always trying to steal the spotlight. It’s not hard with how shy Peyton is, and without a doubt Quinn is her protector. I’ve been around enough to watch him with her. He’s always in front, guarding her from whatever may come her way.

“I think a bottle of Pepto Bismol exploded in this store,” Yvie says, as soon as we step in. She’s right; it’s very pink.

“This is Elle’s favorite store.”

Yvie nods and starts looking around. I hang back, waiting to see what she picks out. I bought the kids a couple of board games. As much as they include me, I still feel like I’m on the outside a little. They’ve all known each other for years and are a family through and through. I’m just thankful they invite me to be a part of their lives.

“What do you think of this?”

“Um, what is that?” All I see is something pink, short and lots of ruffles.

“It’s a tutu, but one that Elle could wear to school.”

I shrug. “You’re the woman here. All I can tell you is that she’s very girly.”

Yvie bites her lip and nods, and I find myself wanting to rub her lower lip and kiss away the pain she’s causing it. I have to stop thinking like this. The last thing I want to do is confuse her about my feelings. Hell, I don’t want to confuse myself about my feelings. The ones I’m having now are causing me enough grief.

I take the bag from Yvie as soon as she’s done paying. She looks at me and smiles, holding my gaze as she slips her hand back into mine. I could definitely get used to having her around, which tells me I need to put up a wall and shut off all emotions. She’s leaving, and I know I’m not enough to keep her here. Not that I’d even try. She’s a big city girl with big city dreams. She needs to fulfill those dreams in order to be happy.

“Peyton’s next,” she says as we walk back into the mall. I direct us toward the large department store. This will give Yvie the opportunity to choose from various items. She could go with something sporty, buy Peyton a game, or go with the safe option and pick out clothes.