Whisper to a Scream (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #6.5)(21)

I surged forward, but it was already too late. Shya flicked the dagger, and blood flowed from the mortal wound. It spilled down her nightgown, staining the white fabric a bright, startling red.

Shya disappeared, leaving her to fall forward into my arms. She sagged against me, choking on blood, unable to get a proper breath. I sank to the floor, hugging her close.

“No, dear God, please no.” I prayed like I’d never prayed before. Staring down into Christina’s wide, frightened eyes, I knew this was my fault. I’d done this to her.

I smoothed the hair back from her face. “I’m sorry, Christina. I’m so sorry.”

There was no time to call for help. She would never last. A sob stuck painfully in my throat as tears blurred my vision.

Christina’s lips moved, but no sound came out. She struggled to breathe, trying again to communicate. I leaned in close, needing to hear her final words.

“You did save me, Willow.” Each word was a great exertion, sapping the last of her strength. “You showed me love. It’s ok. I’m free now.”

Her hand was shaky and covered in blood as she reached to touch my face. I caught it in my own, pressing it tightly to my lips. Tears fell from my eyes to stain her face. I kissed her, feeling her warmth seep away.

“Don’t take her,” I whispered. “Please, take me instead.”

It was not to be. Christina’s strangled breaths ceased. Her nightgown muffled my shouts. I hugged her close, unwilling to let go. Blood and tears stained my hands and garments. Her warm body cooled in my arms.

Evil had done this. It had taken her too soon from a damaged life. It was not fair that Christina had been robbed of the chance to go on to better things.

Human death had never touched me this way. I understood, though it was hard for the humans to accept, that death was a doorway from this world to the next. It was freedom from pain and tears, a new beginning in a place without the selfishness of demons.

Yet, stripped of my status and cast out from the light, I forgot that as I gazed at her lifeless form. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly cause any further destruction, I’d killed her.

Shya had made his demands, but this act of terror would not win me over to the dark. Though I no longer belonged to the light, I would never join him. Something changed inside me there in Christina’s apartment that night. Vengeance was born. The demon failed to realize that I now had nothing left to lose.

Chapter Eight

No amount of tequila could numb the ache, but I was damn determined to try anyway. I encouraged the bartender to keep the poison flowing with a stack of bills set atop the bar.

Time had never held much meaning. As one unaffected by it, I only gave it thought so far as my charges were concerned. Now, every agonizing second seemed to crawl by, announcing its presence everywhere I looked. I couldn’t escape it.

Weeks had passed since Christina’s death, but it felt like it had happened today. My days had become one long, endless day of hell.

“Are you calling me a f*cking cheater?” The loud voice of a drunken man rose above the din. The noise grew as a scuffle broke out.

I gave the scene a brief glance. I’d had no interest in trivial human crap until the two brawling men smashed into me in their sloppy attempts to pummel one another. When the tequila I’d raised to my lips spilled down my front, I turned on my bar stool to face them. The two animals were still going at it, paying no heed to the tables and patrons around them.

Infuriated, my first punch separated them. The next two sat them each down on the floor. I gave my hand a shake and sat back down. The bartender raised a brow, looking from me to the drunken fools. Then with a shrug, he poured me another drink.

“Am I interrupting your pity party?” Serene helped himself to the seat next to mine. “Or, would you be willing to talk?”

“I don’t have anything to say.” I did my best to stare straight ahead at the golden liquid awaiting me. I was too guilt riddled to look into the eyes of my friend, and I didn’t want him to see it.

He politely declined the bartender’s inquiry. Turning to me with heavy concern, he said, “Fine. Then you can listen. I understand that you are in mourning. Please know you have my deepest sympathies. However, it’s time to move on.”

“Move on?” I muttered. “To what? There is nothing for me. I have no purpose anymore. At least I can remember her, and take comfort knowing that in the end, she loved me, too.”

“No purpose?” Serene questioned. “What happened to protecting Alexa? She needs you, you know.”

I did look at him then. Surprise pulled my face out of the tight frown I’d worn for weeks. “You said she was no longer my charge. I’ve been dropping in on her, keeping an eye out for Shya and his demons, but I’d assumed there was little I could do for her.”

Serene’s gentle gaze traveled over me, landing on the alcohol clutched in my hand. “Officially, she is not your charge. Though unofficially, I expected you meant what you said when you refused to give up your duty to her. Although you won’t be much good to her carrying on like this.”

I followed his gaze around the small pub. Woody’s Pub had become a regular part of my existence. For some reason, I felt closer to Christina here than I did anywhere else.

“I appreciate your concern, Serene. I’ve got things under control.” Denial? Perhaps. I would grieve however felt best, and the brief reprieve of numbing alcohol was the closest thing to comfort I had.