Whisper to a Scream (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #6.5)(19)

“You have no idea how badly I wish we could save each other.” A deep, shaky breath racked her. Taking my hand, she pressed it to her chest so I could feel the steady beat of her heart. “This isn’t a fairytale. I can never be what you want, and you will never be what I need. It’s my turn to disappear. If you really care, you’ll let me go.”

“Christina, don’t-,”

She placed a finger over my lips, silencing me. With a soft sigh, she shook her head. Her lower lip trembled, and I took it as an invitation to kiss her.

I tried to hold tight to her as she pulled away. “Please,” she begged. “Just let me go. Before we cause anymore misery.”

“No.” I had no other words. I reached for her, but she was already gone, heading for the door. “Christina, wait!”

I went after her, unwilling to let it end this way. I had given up everything for love, her love, and she wanted to throw it away without even giving it a chance. Unacceptable.

“You can’t do this,” I babbled. “You can’t walk away now.”

“I can. And, I am.” Her hand on the door, Christina looked back at me with sorrow and something else, regret perhaps. “Goodbye, Willow. I will never forget you.”

Without a backwards glance, Christina strode out the door and out of my world. I could have gone after her; I wanted to, but chasing her down the street like an abandoned dog was not how I envisioned the culmination of our love. I let her go.

Chapter Seven

I lost track of the days and nights as they passed. It was all I could do to keep up with Alexa. Ensuring her safety was all I had left to keep me going. My reason for existence had died, yet here I was.

For the most part, both the angels and the demons ignored me until Shya visited my apartment. I felt his presence though he hadn’t manifested, and I was grateful for the forewarning.

“What do you want?” I demanded, in no mood to play the demon’s game. My voice rang out in the dark as I moved through the apartment, turning on lights. “Are you so pathetic that all you can do is creep about unseen? You must be trying to piss me off.”

His disembodied laughter echoed around me. “Does it make you feel better to blame the darkness for your mistakes?” The voice that answered was smooth as silk.

Shya stood in the middle of the small living room. Dressed all in black, his deep ruby eyes shone especially bright.

“Yes,” I said. “It does.”

My mistakes were my own. However, he came here to gloat, and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of witnessing my self-loathing.

“We both know that isn’t true, but I’m not here to argue. If I want to argue, I’ll drop in on the Pope.” A wicked chuckle made Shya uglier than usual.

“That isn’t funny.”

“No? Anyhow, I think you know why I’m here.”

“Do I?” I stared at the intruder in my house, ready to give him the confrontation he was seeking.

“Of course.” The demon never once took his eyes off me, but he did glide over to the bookcase where my holy books were housed.

My gaze intensified, daring Shya to lay hands on my things. His hand hovered in the air inches from my Bible, but he didn’t touch it.

“And, what reason is that?” Anger laced my words, and an alien sense of hate filled me.

“You are afraid. I don’t blame you.”

“Get to the point.” Fear wasn’t my problem; the hate was getting the better of me.

“I have power over this world. And now, you are part of it.”

“You better not be implying what I think you are, Shya. I didn’t fall so that I could serve you. It was self-serving. Wrong. Stupid. But, it had nothing to do with you.” My voice rose an octave or two, and I stared at the hand that wavered so close to my things.

“If you are serving yourself, you surely cannot be serving God. Therefore, you are serving the darkness.”

“Get out of here. You are not welcome.”

“Some might think I’m not welcome in the Vatican either, yet I can walk its halls any time I like.” A smile crossed his lips, but it was neutral, not quite as mocking as his words.

Shya’s spindly fingers closed around the binding of the Bible and lifted it from its place. He held it in his hand easily, feeling its weight. I stood frozen in anticipation.

“Do you really think you will ever get back in?” Shya’s tone held genuine curiosity.

I didn’t bother trying to disguise my disgust. I ran a hand tiredly through my hair.

“I don’t know. What’s it to you anyway? I’m not going to work for you.”

“He never let me back in.” Was that a somber note in Shya’s voice?

“You turned on Him. I didn’t. You never wanted back in.”

“How do you know?”

The words hung in the air between us. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stood my ground, glaring at the lying fiend.

“That’s between you and Him.” I shrugged. I really didn’t give a damn to hear Shya’s sob story. He was appealing to my sense of loss, trying to manipulate me. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I’m not working for you, now or ever.”

Shya began to flip idly through the pages of the Bible. He gave a chuckle here, a smirk there. I grew impatient, waiting for him to tire of this game.