The Program (The Program #1)(58)

“Okay, then,” Nurse Kell says with a forced cheerfulness. “Everyone else is in the leisure room if you care to join them.”

“We’ll be out in a second,” Realm answers. I look over then and see him watching me, his brow creased with concern. Nurse Kell bites her lip and then backs out, leaving us alone again.

“What was in the medication?” I ask.

He looks defeated. “Something to relax you.”

“And what was in yours, Michael?”

“Same as always. Sugar pill.”

I cross the room and slap him. My palm stings as it connects with his cheek. He flinches from the pain and then turns fiercely and grabs me by my shoulders, backing me hard against the wall as I gasp. A red handprint is obvious on his face and he’s exhaling quickly, like he’s about to lose it on me.

“Hit me,” I snarl. “I dare you to throw me down and report me. Because there is no way in hell I’ll let you get away with this.” I lean close to his face. “I’ll tell everyone.”

The anger in Realm’s expression fades, his grip loosens. We’re against each other, breathing heavily. But instead of turning me in, Realm puts his mouth over mine and kisses me hard. I try to yank away at first, but in his lips is intensity and passion. It’s a sort of comfort that I’ve missed. Despite everything that’s happened, this feels real. And I need something to be real after all the lies. I stop fighting.

And just as I let his tongue touch mine, something pierces my thigh. I cry out and push Realm back. He’s holding a needle, fluid still dripping from the tip.

His eyes start watering. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I can’t let them erase me.”

“What did you do?” I cry out, completely stunned and horrified. “Realm, what did you just do?”

“I had to, Sloane.” He holds out his hand to me, but I slap it away and rush past him.

“Don’t touch me!” I scream, pulling open his door. I’m scared he’s going to follow me, so I try to hurry to my room. But I’m only halfway down the hall when I feel the first wave of medication crash over me. I stumble forward, not sure how I’m going to make it to my bed.

This is like the effect of the yellow pill that Dr. Warren gives me, only stronger. I suddenly think that The Program is going to kill me for finding out about Realm. That Realm is going to kill me. I stagger in my doorway and then fall, my knee hitting the white floor hard.

I’m on my hands and knees, the room tipping from side to side in front of me as I crawl toward the safety of my bed.

“Sloane,” I hear, and then arms are around my waist, helping me up. I turn my head lazily to the side and see Realm.

“No,” I say, trying to fight him off. “Leave me alone.” But the words are slurred on my lips as he leads me to the bed.

“I’m sorry. It’s the only way. I swear, it’s the only way.”

“What have you done?” I ask, although I’m not sure if he can understand me as sleep starts to drown me like rushing river water.

“I can’t let you remember,” he murmurs, helping me into bed and then climbing in next to me, holding me protectively in his arms even as I struggle weakly. He’s still talking, but his voice is fading out, fading over me. “. . . or I’ll never get out.”

“I’ll tell everyone,” I try to say, but I can’t keep my eyes open. “I’ll tell everyone.” And then Realm’s gone. And so am I.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

MY EYES FLUTTER OPEN, AND I COVER MY FACE with my forearm, blocking out the light from the overhead fluorescents. My head is pounding, feeling thick with sleep.

When the fog starts to clear, I look to my side table, and the clock reads almost ten. The room smells like toast, and I find the cart on the other side with a covered tray. The food is probably long cold by now. Why didn’t anyone wake me?

I slip on my robe, wondering where everyone is. I pause at my door, before going out into the hall. There’s a young nurse at the station typing on her computer, and from the leisure room I can hear the TV. Everything seems normal, and yet . . . I’m confused.

“Ah. You’re awake.”

I jump and turn to see Nurse Kell walking toward me from the other direction, smiling broadly. “You weren’t feeling well today, so we let you sleep in. Did you want me to get you a snack, honey?”

“Not feeling well?” I look down the hallway as Derek walks by, saluting me in greeting. “I’m . . .” Pushing my hair away from my face, I think back to yesterday. But I can’t find anything there. “What day is it?” I ask.

Nurse Kell smiles like the question isn’t even odd. “It’s Saturday. And the sun is finally out if you’d like to go out to the garden.”

“What?” I’m stunned by her statement, never having been let outside before. Saturday? “It’s Friday, isn’t it?” I’m sure it’s Friday.

“No, honey. But you were running a fever yesterday, and we had to medicate you. So I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”

My mind starts to race then, and I know that they’ve done something to my memory. I keep my face calm, but Nurse Kell can see what I’m thinking. I want to scream. I want to punch her. I want them out of my head. What did they erase this time? Whatever it is, it wasn’t theirs to take.