The Program (The Program #1)(53)

“Which arm?” Realm snarls.

Roger looks at him, his cheek already puffing out from where Realm’s fist connected. I lean against the door frame, barely able to stand.

“Don’t do this, Michael,” Roger says. “You’ll expose us all.”

Realm punches him hard in the face again, and I wince, sure that Roger’s nose is broken. The nurse is still screaming for them to stop, but she doesn’t dare intervene. Not when Realm looks so crazed.

“Which arm did you touch her with?” Realm demands, his face close to Roger’s bloodied one. And when the handler doesn’t answer, I watch as Realm grabs Roger’s right arm and yanks it so hard behind his back the snap is audible.

I stumble in the doorway and fall to my knees. Roger howls and Realm lets him go, backing away. Roger’s arm hangs at an odd angle below the elbow and I try to catch my breath, horrified by the sight. Just then security rounds the hall, and I’m afraid for Realm.

But instead of pulling out their Tasers, the guards skid to a stop in front of him. While one guard helps Roger to stand, the other takes hold of Realm, whispering something to him as he leads him in the other direction. And rather than fight, Realm seems calm—eerily calm even though he just broke a guy’s arm and is being hauled off by The Program to God knows where.

“Realm?” I call after him, the start of a cry in my voice. What are they going to do to him?

He looks over his shoulder then and his eyes widen when he sees me. But he doesn’t say anything. He just nods as if we have an agreement.

And then he lets security take him away.

• • •

I wait for Realm to come back. When I ask Nurse Kell she says she doesn’t know what will happen, a disapproving look on her face. I feel exposed and empty with my only friend gone. Roger had been right: I’m not in control of anything.

The first day without Realm, I see Roger in the hall with a security guard on his left. Roger’s right arm is in a cast. He has a bandage over his nose and has a black eye. A twisted satisfaction stretches over me. I watch him carry a box of his things, his career here clearly over. And since I haven’t been pulled into a meeting, it looks like my name stayed out of it. Realm really did find a way to get rid of him.

When he passes me, Roger pauses long enough to glance sideways at me. I don’t smile because the look in his eyes is pure hatred. It’s a look that says, “This isn’t over.”

I turn away, not acknowledging him, and halfway down the hall I see Tabitha standing in her doorway. When she catches my eyes, she nods—just like Realm did. As if we all have a secret pact I don’t know about. Maybe now that Roger’s gone, we’ll all sleep a little easier.

The day drags after that, and when I finally make it to dinner in the dining room, Derek and Shep are at my table. “Hey,” they say when I sit down.

“Hey.” I’m not used to talking to them without Realm around, and they look as lost as I feel. “Cards tonight?” I ask, hoping they’ll distract me from missing Realm.

“Naw,” Shep says, pushing away his hamburger. “I want to wait until Realm comes back.” His green eyes are sad, and I want to reach out and touch his hand, but I don’t.

I feel strange, as if I’m hollowed out somehow. I feel vulnerable and empty.

“So you know how he kicked the shit out of that handler?” Derek asks me. I nod, nervous about what will come next. “I heard some of the nurses talking, and they said Roger was dealing medication and Realm busted him. But then the handler said he’d hurt us if Realm turned him in.” He puffs up his chest. “Now obviously I can take care of myself. So I’m going to assume the threat was made on you. It explains why Realm went crazy on him.”

I shrug and poke at the salad on my plate.

“Anyway,” Derek continues, “Kell seems to think they’ll let Realm come back. But they fired Roger. Made him sign some confidentiality agreement with The Program. Can you believe that? He should be in jail.”

“They’d never jeopardize The Program,” I state. “We’re the cure, remember?”

When I look up they’re all staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, and I consider that maybe I have. Maybe this emptiness is where my heart used to be. I stand up, pushing away my tray and head into the leisure room, taking a seat by the window and staring out.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I’VE BEEN IN THE PROGRAM FOR FOUR WEEKS AND eight hours. Realm still isn’t back, but I haven’t given up hope. I don’t remember much of my past, but there is a sense that I was happy once. And it makes me think I could be again.

Tabitha and I are standing in front of the leisure room as she shows me her fingernails. As a reward for good behavior, they let her have some polish, and although her nails are still short, they’re now neon pink. She wiggles them admiringly.

“They look great,” I tell her, also noticing how she’s started to brush her hair.

“Thanks,” Tabitha says. “I leave in two weeks, can you believe it? I think they’re going to let me get my hair done, too. Dr. Warren thinks I’d look better with auburn instead of red. What do you think?”

I shrug. “I like it how it is.”

She smiles as if my compliment truly means a lot to her. But then she notices something behind me and her grin widens. “Sloane,” she says.