Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(67)

I handed her the jacket across the table, and she put it on at once, and then shuddered again.

Yes, it would be very nice to be warm.

"Tough luck, man," Jacob chuckled.

"Shut up," Bella said, it was the thought that counted after all, besides the jacket was sure to warm her up soon enough.

"Thanks," she said. She took a deep breath, and then pushed the too-long sleeves back to free her hands. She took another deep breath.

Was the evening finally settling in? Her color was still good; her skin was cream and roses against the deep blue of her shirt.

"That color blue looks lovely with your skin," I complimented her. Just being honest.

Bella smiled, blushing slightly.

"Good with your skin!" Jacob repeated laughing. "That's a weird way of putting it."

"Shut up," Bella hissed at him, she didn't need his laughter at the moment.

She flushed, enhancing the effect.

She looked well, but there was no point in taking chances. I pushed the basket of bread toward her.

"Really," she objected, guessing my motives. "I'm not going into shock."

"You should be - a normal person would be. You don't even look shaken." I stared at her, disapproving, wondering why she couldn't be normal and then wondering if really wanted her to be that way.

"No, you really don't," Jacob answered. "You don't like normal at all."

"I feel very safe with you," she said, her eyes, again, filled with trust. Trust I didn't deserve.

Her instincts were all wrong - backwards.

"There's nothing wrong with my instincts," Bella huffed.

"I'm not so sure about that," Jacob said. "Honestly, you should be scared of this guy... but whatever."

That must be the problem. She didn't recognize danger the way a human being should be able to. She had the opposite reaction. Instead of running, she lingered, drawn to what should frighten her...

How could I protect her from myself when neither of us wanted that?

"This is more complicated than I'd planned," I murmured.

I could see her turning my words over in her head, and I wondered what she made of them. She took a breadstick and began to eat without seeming aware of the action.

"Okay, you're killing me here," Jacob said. "I want to know what you're thinking already."

Bella just chuckled at that.

She chewed for a moment, and then leaned her head to one side thoughtfully.

"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are so light," she said in a casual tone.

"I didn't expect that," Jacob said.

Her observation, stated so matter of factly, left me reeling. "What?"

"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black - I expect it then. I have a theory about that," she added lightly.

"What's your theory?" Jacob asked.

"Stop interrupting so much," Bella huffed at him.

"Sorry... I'm just so drawn into this," Jacob said, "I keep forgetting that you don't know anything."

So she had come up with her own explanation. Of course she had. I felt a deep sense of dread as I wondered how close she'd come to the truth.

"More theories?"

"Mm-hm." She chewed on another bite, entirely nonchalant. As if she weren't discussing the aspects of a monster with the monster himself.

"Well, that's nice to know," Bella mumbled, liking the fact that she didn't act as nervous as she felt at the moment, knowing that she would have been a lot worse in the book.

"I hope you were more creative this time..." I lied when she didn't continue.

What I really hoped was that she was wrong - miles wide of the mark.

"I think that might be more off the mark," Jacob said. "Once he finds out that you accept him, he'll love that you know."

"Or are you still stealing from comic books?"

"Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book," she said, a little embarrassed. "But I didn't come up with it on my own, either."

Jacob shivered at that uncontrollably.

"And?" I asked between my teeth.

Surely should would not speak so calmly if she were about to scream.

As she hesitated, biting her lip, the waitress reappeared with Bella's food. I paid the server little attention as she set the plate in front of Bella and then asked if I wanted anything.

I declined, but asked for more coke. The waitress hadn't noticed the empty glasses. She took them and left.

"You were saying?" I prompted anxiously as soon as we were alone again.

"I'll tell you about it in the car," she said in a low voice. Ah, this would be bad.

"Yeah, very bad," Jacob grumbled, feeling more foreboding than before.

She wasn't willing to speak her guesses around others. "If..." she tacked on suddenly.

"There are conditions?" I was so tense I almost growled the words.

"I do have a few questions, of course."

"Of course," I agreed, my voice hard.

Her questions would probably be enough to tell me where her thoughts were heading. But how would I answer them? With responsible lies? Or would I drive her away with truth? Or would I say nothing, unable to decide?