Her Destiny (Reverie #2)(13)

I need to get over it.

Reverie, I hope you’re well. I like to tell myself that I’ve moved on from you. Harsh, right? It’s probably best that we’re not together, that I don’t see you, that you’re not a part of my life any longer. I would only bring you down. You’re a senior and you need to be having fun, enjoying your last year in high school. Doing things I never got a chance to do since I was locked up in jail (look there I go again, blah blah blah, poor me). I want that for you. I don’t want you miserable.

But then I saw the article about your parents being permanently terminated from The Flock of the Lambs and I know…you must be having a hard time. I want to be there for you, holding you close and comforting you. Maybe you found someone else to comfort you though. I hate the thought of that but I have no claim on you. I’m the one who walked away and never reached out to you again.

It’s all on me. I have no one to blame but myself.

So I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re living your life and not allowing yourself to become stuck in the past. I’m trying to do the same.

It’s hard though. So f**king hard.

Love,

Nicholas

Chapter Twelve

November 12th

It’s been a month since I reconnected with Vanessa and Valerie. Since Evan told me that yes, our parents are thieves and liars. Since I finally wised up and stopped hanging around with people who only used me. Things have happened so fast since then I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head around it all.

I found a part-time job at a restaurant not too far from our apartment and it’s okay. I was the hostess for all of a week but then one of the waitresses quit unexpectedly on a busy Friday night and they needed someone to cover so I stepped in. My manager, Elaine, said I was a natural and the next week I’m working as many hours as I can, bringing home an average of one hundred dollars a night just in tips, sometimes more on the weekends.

Evan’s thrilled. I give him my entire paycheck and half the tips and I still have plenty of spending money. Money I usually use toward food that we need. It’s sort of amazing how well Evan and I are surviving on our own. We’ve gone from spoiled rich kids who never had to lift a finger to hardworking, responsible almost-adults who had to grow up way too soon.

Whatever. I’m fine with it and so is Evan. Right now he’s my hero and all I want to do is make him happy so he doesn’t worry. I’m picking up my grades thanks to Vanessa and Valerie’s help. My grades aren’t at the level they were before all this stupid crap happened with my parents but they’re good enough. Like I’m going to get into a great college anyway.

I can’t afford the tuition.

“Keep up those grades and you can get a scholarship,” Evan told me a few nights ago. “I’m not going to let your dream of getting into a good college fall apart just because of what happened.”

I appreciate his opinion but college was never necessarily my dream. I just expected to make that next step naturally. Plus, Dad and Mom pushed it so hard. I needed to get into a good college. A proper education and a bachelor’s degree would help me in life. I heard that time and again, especially the last few years.

Would going to college help me in life though? Would it really?

So I brought home a stack of financial aid applications the day after my conversation with Evan, becoming overwhelmed at the mere thought of filling all of those forms out, but I know he’s right. I do have a chance and I can’t let it slip by me.

I just have so little time to do anything beyond go to school, eat, work, and sleep. It’s so much easier falling into bed every night, so exhausted I can’t keep my eyes open for long. I prefer keeping busy, then I’m not thinking about the bad stuff.

Like what my parents did. Now they’re facing all sorts of lawsuits and possible criminal charges. They haven’t reached out to Evan and I since the news broke which blows my mind. It’s like they forgot all about us and despite how angry we both are at them their neglect still hurts us.

And then there’s Nick. Why I bother worrying about him I don’t know. It’s so dumb to think I had something real with him. How real could it have been since I haven’t heard from him since we were separated so abruptly? That hurts too…it’s like he walked away without another thought. As if I was some sort of simple summer romance and nothing more. I really didn’t matter to him after all, did I?

I’m on my way to work now, my heels clicking loudly as I walk/run down the sidewalk toward the restaurant. Luckily enough I can take the city bus and the stop is only a few blocks from Seville’s.

I’m also lucky because Seville’s is one of the most expensive restaurants in the area. My manager Elaine knew immediately who I was when she glanced over my application and gave me one of those sympathetic looks that people are so good at lately. But other than that, she’s never really referred to my family or their troubles. She’s just encouraged me, pushed me and ultimately rewarded me with the quick promotion from hostess to waitress.

“It’s probably not going to be busy tonight, Rev,” she says the moment I walk through the door. She’s at the hostess stand, going over the list of reservations for the night like she usually does. “I’m guessing it’ll be an early night.” She glances up at me, offering a sweet smile. I like Elaine a lot. She’s got a motherly personality, always watching out for me and making sure I’m all right.