Her Destiny (Reverie #2)
Monica Murphy
Chapter One
The future
I met a boy.
And I fell for him.
Hard.
He was sweet, he was kind and no matter how much he tried to deny me…
He couldn’t resist.
And neither could I.
He was my first kiss.
The first boy I let touch me.
He was my first…everything.
But he walked away from me.
To protect me…from himself.
When the only protection I really wanted…
The only protection I needed…
Was him.
When he walked back into my life.
So unexpectedly.
I was mad.
I was happy.
I pushed him away.
But he wouldn’t go.
It didn’t matter what I did.
What I said.
How I treated him.
I couldn’t deny his love for me.
Or my love for him.
And now I know he was the one for me.
He was my…
Destiny.
Chapter Two
September 2nd
Dear Diary,
Oh, screw it. Let’s start this off the way I really want to:
Dear Nick,
Why? That’s the word, the question that runs through my head whenever I think of you. Why did you leave me? Why did you not want to see me? Why did you tell me you loved me and then never attempted to see me again?
I don’t understand.
It doesn’t help that I’m a little drunk. A little frustrated. Drowning my sorrows with alcohol, I’ve turned into my mother and I haven’t even graduated high school yet.
I’m a mess. Over you. It hurts so much, your rejection. Why?
See…I’m back to that word. Why. It’s the dumbest word in existence because it doesn’t help anything. You don’t help anything. You don’t help me.
You left me. You didn’t want me. No one wants me. Poor stupid little Reverie, believing in love and truth and family—I’m left disappointed. The only one who really takes care of me is the last person who I thought cared and that’s my brother. But then again, if I can’t count on my brother, then who can I count on?
Certainly not you, Nick.
Why?
Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. The truth hurts. I’d rather live in my little bubble and pretend I never knew you.
But I can’t. You haunt my thoughts. I went to a party. I drank tonight to escape you. I kissed another boy to escape you and all his lips and wandering hands managed to do was make me miss you.
I hate you.
I love you.
Love,
Reverie
Chapter Three
September 16th
Dear Reverie,
I know you won’t get this email. I’m writing it on my phone and saving it in the drafts folder because I don’t even have your email address. I tried texting you and I know the messages were delivered but you didn’t reply. Did they take your phone away? Or are you just ignoring me?
I deserve to be ignored. I ignored you, which was stupid but I thought it was for the best. They put me in jail. Again. They could only hold me there for a few hours though. They have nothing on me in regards to Krista’s death because I didn’t do it. You already know this because you were with me that night. Not that I told them. I wasn’t about to put you into a bad situation. How could you explain why you were with me to your parents? I know they’d freak out and the last thing you want to do is disappoint them.
You know I was frustrated with Krista and the things she did to us. To me. To you. Yeah, I didn’t like her much but I definitely didn’t want her dead. I feel terrible about that. They still don’t know who did it. They suspect her dad but they can’t hold him either. There was evidence showing she had sex with someone but it was contaminated. Ruined.
They have no idea who she was with that night but I know for sure it wasn’t me. And you know it too.
I still think about that night, at what had started out as one of the best nights of my life before it spiraled out of control and turned into a nightmare. You’re my alibi but I kept that to myself. No way did I want you to risk your relationship with your parents. I know they mean a lot to you. Family is important. I miss my mom every single day and wish she were still with me.
But wishes are for fools.
I miss you too. You have no idea how much. I hate that the last time I saw you, you were walking into your parents’ house, your back to me, thinking everything was going to be okay. I wish I could go back in time and really make everything okay, you know? But there I go again, wishing for things that can never happen. That’ll get me nowhere.
I heard about your dad and I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s truth and what are lies but I know it must hurt to have such horrible things said about your parents. You’re in school now—are they treating you okay? How’s Evan reacting to all of this? Your mom? I heard from Michael and Heather that your family packed up and left within twenty-four hours of my dropping you off at your house.
Considering I was still being held at the jail when that happened, I had no idea. I missed out on telling you goodbye and I regret that more than anything.
I’ll probably never see you again. But just know this—this summer was the best time of my life. Being with you, falling in love with you, was like nothing I ever experienced before. I wish I could talk to you. See your smile. Hear your laugh. Hold you in my arms. Kiss your sweet lips.