Her Destiny (Reverie #2)(4)

I’m fighting against myself and I’m losing.

I’d been kept in the dark for a long time. My entire life, really. She’s too young, they said. She doesn’t need to know about that. Or this. Keep her innocent. Keep her pure.

More like keep her stupid.

My parents sheltered me and I knew it but I never protested. I liked living in that warm, fluffy cocoon where nothing could touch me. Hurt me. We took care of each other, Mommy and Dad and Evan and I. Dad’s flock took care of us too and we took care of them. It was one big happy family.

Until it wasn’t.

The cracks were there, growing with each passing day, week, month. Slowly but surely and I was oblivious.

I’m not anymore though. My eyes are wide open and I can see everything.

Every little thing.

Chapter Five

Reverie, are you there?

Did they shut off your phone?

I wish you would answer me. Are you mad at me? I get it. I do. And I’m sorry.

They put me in jail. I was trying to protect you.

I miss you Daydream. I miss you so bad my entire body hurts.

I wish I could hold you. Smell your hair. Touch it. Touch you.

I love you.

Chapter Six

October 1st

“I’m cramping your style,” I say sarcastically as I stand at the kitchen counter and wait for my bagel to pop out of the toaster. He’d picked me up last night alone, mumbling on the drive back to his place how I ruined his chances with a really hot girl he’d been trying to score with for months.

Ew. Not what I wanted to hear from my brother. I know he’s a bit of a player but I don’t need any of the details.

“Kind of. But I’ll live.” Evan ruffles my hair as he walks by, headed straight for the coffeemaker which I’d started right after I woke up, feeling bleary-eyed and worn out even after a good night’s sleep.

“Like you would bring any girl around me anyway,” I tease. My brother is almost two years older than me and he’s good looking. I know this because I see the way girls stare at him as he walks by. There’s always some girl texting him or calling him and he goes out all the time, sometimes with his friends but mostly with a girl.

But he’s not the type to get serious. That’s why I never meet any of the girls he sees.

As I watch Evan pour a cup of coffee wearing only sweatpants, his golden hair a disheveled mess, his eyes narrowed as he scratches his chest, all I see is my slobby big brother who’s given me nothing but a bunch of grief for most of my life.

Since everything that happened with our parents though, he’s really come through. We’ve become closer. We’ve had to. I feel like he’s all I have and I think he feels the same.

“Just…you need to find new friends,” he says cautiously as he dumps a butt load of sugar into his coffee cup and then pours in a glob of creamer before he dunks a spoon into the liquid and rapidly stirs. “Or go back to your old ones. Those sluts you’re hanging out with now are doing you no favors.”

“Evan. They’re not sluts.” The bagel pops up and I pluck it from the toaster, rubbing my fingers against each other to ease the burn from the hot bread. I start to slather on the cream cheese, irritated that he would call them names. “You’re so mean.”

“I just call it like I see it.” He turns to face me, leaning against the edge of the counter as he takes a sip of his coffee. “They left you all alone in a neighborhood you didn’t know. You went to a party where you knew no one and they abandoned you.”

“And you’ve never done that before? Gone to a party where you knew no one?”

He makes a face. “I’m not a seventeen year old girl. Someone could’ve raped you, Rev.”

Evan’s right. I know it. But I don’t like hearing it. “My friends aren’t sluts,” I say again as I put the lid on the cream cheese container and set the knife into the sink. Rachel might work a little fast and loose but I wouldn’t call her a slut. I don’t like calling girls that at all. It’s a horrible word. Life is so unfair when a boy can go out and bang a bazillion chicks and no one bats an eyelash. A girl goes out and fools around with a few guys—boom, instant slut status.

“Stop rebelling.” He’s suddenly behind me, his big hands clutching my shoulders and giving me a little shake. “Just…be you. You’re not this girl you’re pretending to be. Rolling up the waistband of your uniform skirt so it rises higher and pisses off the teachers. Wearing all the makeup on your eyes and making yourself look like a raccoon on acid when you used to wear no makeup at all. Ignoring your old friends so you can hang out with ones who are out partying and giving random guys blow jobs.”

My cheeks heat and I’m thankful I’m not facing Evan. Talk about embarrassing. I haven’t given any guy a blow job. Not since Nick. I don’t want him thinking I do that sort of thing. I might be acting the fool but I don’t want my brother to think less of me.

“Go back to being you, Reverie,” he says encouragingly, his speech almost working. “You know it’ll please Mom and Dad.”

And those particular words just ruined it. Definitely not what I wanted to hear and like I care if I make Mom and Dad happy. They certainly didn’t care about Evan and me when they were doing whatever the heck they wanted. Spending other people’s money and robbing everyone who believed in them.