Her Destiny (Reverie #2)(8)

“I don’t need any,” I interrupt her, not wanting to hear it. The sympathy, the worry, my need for guidance and all the other crap that will come with her supposed unconditional offer. “I’ll do better,” I say firmly, needing to believe in myself. “I promise.”

She sends me a skeptical look, one that reads she doesn’t believe a thing I’m saying and that’s fine. She doesn’t have to. I know the truth and what’s inside my heart. I can do this. I will do this. I’ve always done well at school. I shouldn’t mess up this last year should I? Doing bad now will only mess up my future and all because of my selfish parents don’t care who they hurt and the boy who walked away from me without another word?

Not smart.

Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I blink furiously, mentally ordering them to go away. I refuse to fall apart, especially in front of Mrs. Davis.

“Are you sure? We can set you up with the tutoring program. Or you could meet with your teachers and discuss makeup assignments.” She studies me, her expression carefully blank. “We’ll also be calling your parents to get them involved involved though and I don’t know how easily that’s going—”

“No,” I say vehemently. “They’re not around so...” Everyone at school is aware of my parents’ circumstances and that Evan is my temporary guardian until I turn eighteen. And then I’m on my own.

“But Rev. They’re your parents,” Mrs. Davis says. “They have to be involved.”

“They’re too busy with their own problems,” I mutter under my breath.

Her expression turns the faintest bit harder, almost as if she’s heard enough of my crap and doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. That’s probably a more than fair description because I’ve seen this same type of look on a lot of people’s faces lately. People who proclaim they care yet never do anything. It’s hard to help someone who’s so unwilling to help herself though, right?

“We’ll get your brother involved then. A progress report will be sent home in the next few days,” she says briskly. “I expect to see your parents’ signatures on it before you turn it in. Failure to do so will mean more trouble for you young lady, so I suggest you be truthful with them and work on picking up those grades.”

“Yes ma’am.” I glance down at my lap, watching as I twist my fingers together so tightly my knuckles turn white. I’d rather be anywhere other than here. Listening to her drone on telling me what a failure I am. I’m sick of it.

“You do plan on attending college, correct? Soon you’ll start putting in applications if you haven’t started already. You’ve done so well and I hate to see you mess up now and ruin everything.” She’s so subtle, Mrs. Davis. Telling me that I’ll ruin everything.

Standing, I clutch my books to my chest, watching her as she lifts her head and contemplates me, like I’m some sort of bug she’s checking out under the microscope and she’s realizing she doesn’t like what she sees. “May I go now?”

She lets forth an extremely frustrated sigh and nods. “Of course. See you later, Rev.”

I escape her office and step out into the hallway, realizing that it’s already lunchtime. I check around for a sign of a friend. Any friend. But there are none around and I’m filled with a profound loss. I miss my old friends but I blew that completely.

My stomach growls and I reluctantly head toward the cafeteria, hoping no one will pay attention to me and I can eat alone. I go through the food line, picking out a salad and an apple, grabbing a Mountain Dew to keep me awake so I can make it through the rest of my classes.

Once I pay for my food, I glance around the big room, hoping to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Not like they’re paying attention to me anyway. I’ve always been one of the girls who blends into the walls and I liked it that way. But when I started to ignore my two best friends and hang out with other people, girls who don’t really care about me, not in the way Vanessa and Valerie do, it became this thing where no one cared about me. I didn’t just blend into the wall, I became the wall.

I start walking toward my newfound favorite corner where I sit if I’m not skipping school when I hear someone softly call my name. Looking down, I see it’s Vanessa, sitting alone at what was once our favorite table. She tilts her head back, her gaze locking with mine, and I freeze where I stand.

“Hi,” I say once I swallow past the lump in my throat.

She waves a hand toward the spot across from her, her expression solemn. “Sit down?”

I do as she asks without replying, setting my tray in front of me and cracking open the bottle of water I have, drinking a few swallows to moisten my super dry throat. “H-how are you?” I finally ask.

Vanessa stares at me for a moment. “Do you even care?” she asks flatly.

I’m startled. I always felt like they abandoned me but I…have to face the truth. I abandoned them. I was the one who changed, not my friends. Everything she says, how she acts toward me, I asked for all of it.

“I do,” I say softly, pressing my lips together to prevent from saying anymore. “I’ve…had a hard time lately.”

“We’ve missed you,” Vanessa says, wincing once she made the admission. “Valerie would kill me if she knew I told you that.”