Her Destiny (Reverie #2)(11)
“So guilty that you thought it would be better to start acting like a complete slut?” Valerie asks innocently.
“Val,” Vanessa hisses but I wave her off.
“She’s right. I acted like a total…slut.” I grimace. I really despise that word. “I was feeling lost and confused. I went through a lot of…changes this last summer and finding out about my parents sent me into a tailspin.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Valerie mutters, shaking her head.
“What about the boy?” Vanessa’s question makes me whip my head up, panic racing through me. Yes, I promised I would tell her about Nick, but now? With Valerie’s feelings still unsettled?
“What boy?” Valerie sends me a curious look.
My cheeks are so hot they feel like they’re on fire. May as well get it out now. “I met a boy. He worked at my parents’ summer home. His name is Nicholas.” It sounds very grown up, his name. And I shouldn’t call him a boy. He was closer to a man. On his own, taking care of himself, living in his own apartment and working a full-time job. He was light years above me in maturity. I behaved like a naïve fool most of my time with him.
Because I was a naïve fool. My parents sheltered me my enter life. Nothing bad ever seemed to touch me. I meet Nick and he opened my eyes to so much. Maybe even too much. Not that I regret my time with him…
“Tell us more,” Vanessa prompts, her gaze rapt, expression eager.
“We spent a lot of time together,” I say haltingly, not quite sure how I should phrase it.
“Did your parents know about you and this boy?” This from Valerie.
I shake my head. “They were too wrapped up in their own problems.” This is far truer than I realized when it was all unfolding. Mom had been so closed off and Dad full of a forced cheerfulness that rang so false. Near the end of the summer they’d closed themselves off from Evan and me completely.
“So you snuck around?”
“Yes.” I nod, memories running through my mind, one after the other. The way he looked at me, when he kissed me in the stables, when he met me in my favorite clearing for my birthday. I still have the little jar of dreams in my bedroom, hidden away in my bedside table. I take it out at night and clutch it tight, closing my eyes and thinking of him.
Stupid. So stupid.
“And it got serious,” Vanessa says, though more like a statement and not a question. “You fell in love.”
“We did. But then it became complicated.” I take a deep breath, unsure of what I can tell them. How can I explain it when I don’t quite understand what happened myself? Krista was murdered, the cops took Nick away, my parents didn’t even realize what happened. Within days, the story came out. The accusations against my parents changed everything.
Everything.
Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I cover my face with my hands, willing them to stop. But they won’t. They spill onto my cheeks, wetting my palms and I feel an arm go around my shoulders, tugging on me, urging me close.
“It’s okay,” Vanessa whispers and I fall into her arms, crying in earnest, so grateful to have my friend back, so angry to have lost the life I’ve always known.
So sad, so empty to lose the one boy I could’ve had a chance with.
“You’ve been crying,” Evan states the moment I enter the apartment.
“Have not.” My denial is halfhearted. I wouldn’t believe myself I sound so unconvincing.
“Have too. You should see yourself. Your mascara’s all smudged beneath your red-rimmed eyes. You look like hell.” He gets up from the couch and starts to approach me.
Sniffing, I turn and head down the hall toward my bedroom, tossing over my shoulder, “Well, you can go to hell.” I hate it when he talks to me like that. He’s been pretty kind after everything that’s happened so it’s extra hurtful when he slips back into his old habits like this. And the last thing I need after the emotional afternoon I just went through.
Evan follows after me and grabs hold of my arm, turning me around so I have no choice but to face him. He looks ferocious, his eyes blazing with anger, his lips tight. “What happened?” he says through clenched teeth. “Who did this to you?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” I ask, my voice shaky, my mind scrambling. “Nobody did anything to me.”
“You look like you’ve been balling your eyes out for hours.” He slowly shakes his head, his expression just as fierce. “Don’t lie to me. Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened, I swear.” I shake my head, scared and confused at his reaction. He thinks someone hurt me? “What do you care anyway?” I shrug out of his hold, baffled by how upset he seems. “Did you have a bad day or what?”
“My sister comes in looking like she’s been through hell and back, you damn right I’m suddenly having a bad day. Tell me who did this to you.” He grabs me again, by both arms this time, giving me a little shake.
“I met with Valerie and Vanessa after school, okay? No big deal, they forgave me for being a jerk, I got a little emotional and cried, end of story.” He releases me and I step away from him, tilting my chin up, trying my best to look dignified but knowing I’m totally failing. I swipe beneath my eyes as discreetly as I can, hoping to remove whatever lingering mascara remains. The tips of my fingers are black and I repress the sigh that wants to escape. I just really want this day to be over. “Can I go now? I want to take a shower.”