Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(28)

“That’s my girl,” Chessy said. “And you know I’m going to want to hear all the juicy details Sunday. If you don’t call me, I’m so coming over. But in the afternoon. You know, in case Jensen sleeps over again.”

She winked as she said the last and Kylie rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Kylie said dryly. “Remember the fact that I had to handcuff him to the bed in order for him to be able to sleep in the same space. I’m such a head case that I wouldn’t count on me having sex with anyone for a long time.”

Chessy’s eyes sparkled. “At the risk of sounding disloyal, my money’s on Jensen. I bet you two do the deed much sooner than you think.”

“Gee, thanks,” Kylie muttered.

But at the same time, hope unfurled in her heart like a flower budding in the spring. Could she be intimate with Jensen? Was it possible that he was the man who could get past her barriers? The fact that she wasn’t melting down over the mere thought said a whole lot. The fact that she was actually anticipating the act itself said far more.

TEN

KYLIE wiped her hands down her jeans, removing the dampness from her palms. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, critically surveying her appearance. This was stupid. Utterly ridiculous for her to be so worked up over a date.

Women dated. People dated. And now, apparently, she dated. It was an absolutely ordinary occurrence in the world. Except that her world and the rest of the world were two entirely different things. In her world, she didn’t date. Didn’t pursue relationships or encourage men’s attention.

Only now it would seem she did indeed date and she was in fact trying to gain the attention of Jensen.

She couldn’t figure out if it annoyed her or pleased her, this tilting of her universe. On one hand she was actually looking forward to the evening with Jensen. Craved his company and how safe and comforted she felt around him. Was she simply using him because he was a security blanket of sorts? And would she chicken out the minute things became more intimate?

Because she sincerely doubted Jensen was just signing up to be a source of comfort. He was a man. An attractive, mouthwateringly gorgeous man. Of course he’d expect sex at some point. He’d pretty much said as much. The question was how patient he’d be.

She wasn’t opposed, in theory, to the idea of having sex with him. The idea appealed. But what appealed more to her was her being capable of having a physical relationship with him. Of being able to overcome the panic that such an idea instilled within her.

So, in fact, it did mean that she was using him. For all the wrong reasons.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to stop being so analytical. Did it matter why she wanted to be around him? Did it matter the reasons why if they ended up having sex? To most men reasons would be very far down their list. They wanted sex. Most red-blooded men did. It was the women who got all touchy-feely and analytical over the reasons behind sex.

Jensen wanted her. He’d made that clear enough. But what exactly did he want? How much? Would he be satisfied with physical release? Hot sex? Or did he want more? Something she couldn’t give him?

Her head was spinning and she was making herself crazy over a simple date. She’d changed clothes four times, each time deeming herself too obvious. Too blatant, like she was seeking his approval. But what normal woman wouldn’t want to look good for her date? Especially a man like Jensen who oozed sensuality just by breathing.

She’d finally opted for jeans and a comfortable top. Casual. Not too desperate. She wanted to appear as though she were comfortable with him. And that wouldn’t be a stretch because she did feel at ease with him even if she hadn’t in the beginning. All of that had changed during the night he’d spent with her.

Trust, something she didn’t readily give to anyone, had been formed the night he’d held her through her nightmares and offered her comfort. A part of her recognized that this man wouldn’t hurt her. Her mind protested, used to self-preservation. Her heart, on the other hand, had quickly offered its trust, leaving her brain to wonder if she’d lost what little of her sanity she had left.

The doorbell rang, spurring her into action. She nervously gave herself one last glance in the mirror, satisfied that she looked . . . normal. Then she went to answer the door.

Jensen filled her doorway the minute she opened the door. He loomed there, larger than life. Tall, muscular. Strong. To her relief, he too had dressed casually. Faded jeans that conformed to his body and made her want to get an eyeful of how his ass filled them out. And a simple T-shirt that stretched over his muscled arms and chest.

If she thought he looked sexy in his business clothing, seeing him in jeans and a T-shirt was mind-blowing. God, was she actually lusting after him? She hadn’t thought herself capable of feeling physical attraction to a man—any man. And yet here she stood, drinking her fill and having decidedly naughty thoughts.

Who knew she had it in her?

Instead of inspiring panic, she was filled with the unfamiliar sensation of . . . optimism. She offered him a genuine smile and then gestured for him to come inside. He was carrying two grocery bags and had a bottle of wine tucked under one arm.

“Let me help you,” she offered.

“Nope,” he said. “I’ll dump it all in the kitchen and get started. I’d love for you to join me and keep me company, though.”